Today I got trolled on a site where I wrote a comment on a public post, agreeing with the perspective expressed and adding to it in a lighthearted manner.

Alas! I had forgotten my promise to myself never to engage on a public post. Writing my views on my own blog page is hazardous enough with people not getting the meaning, the intention or the nuance on more occasions than I can count. I know English is not a strong point with many of the local folk. But why the heck should I be penalised for their lack of understanding of the language? I have always maintained that if you have not understood something, ask. I will gladly explain.

It is silly being blamed for something you never wrote. And what did I write? It was a response to a tweet shared that said ‘An Indian who is unmarried in their 30s totally deserves a medal’. What it implies is that in our society unmarried individuals face a lot of undue pressure from family, friends and generally goddamn everyone to tie the knot. Withstanding the sort of pressure that a society such as ours puts on them makes them worthy of a medal.

I made the apparently “inexcusable” comment that the parents of such individuals who supported them wholeheartedly in the way of life they have chosen for themselves also deserve a medal. Why did I say that? Because I know parents too face immense pressure from everyone around for getting their children married and settled. Life is made difficult for them too. Apparently my observation was a ‘crime: on many counts. Listing them below.

First point. I was generalising, putting things in black and white, being unfair to the parents who did not support their children. Wait. What? What the heck! Second point. There are many unmarried women ‘supporting’ parents. Considering I live in this world I definitely am aware of that. But how is it in any way relevant to what I wrote? I am glad I only have really short hair or else I’d have pulled them out in handfuls. So clueless am I right now trying to figure things out.

Third point (which arose when I asked that they read the comment again and if they felt the same way I had nothing more to say): I am arrogant. This I have learnt from experience is the favorite word on the internet to be flung against people who refuse to engage as much as those who stand their ground. Fourth point. I had brought up the topic of parents when the post was about children. I had supposedly taken away the achievement and strength of children and put it all on the parents. Don’t ask me what, where, why or how. I don’t know myself how I achieved that feat without even being aware of it.

Of all the accusations flung though, I humbly accept one. I did write about parents in a post that talked about the ‘unmarried in their 30s’ aka ‘children’. Mea culpa. My apologies dear strangers on the net. Next time, if at all there is a next time which seems pretty unlikely as of now, I shall not mention parents in a post about children. Never the twain shall meet in a post. Promise.

Of course it goes without saying that the rule does not apply to my blog. My blog, my rules. I will mention whatever I very well please (within the law because I am a law-abiding citizen). Here I shall exercise the freedom to mention children and parents in the same breath. So I shall come right out and say it, in the process putting it in ‘black and white’: Both unmarried children in their 30s and their parents deserve a medal in the society we live in. You see it is not a competition. We are all in this together.

© Shail Mohan 2022