Recently I had an unusual experience.

“She’s very stubborn!”

I looked up, half-smiling, expecting it to be some joke at my expense. That’s something I can take in my stride. In fact, I am usually the first one to laugh at myself.

But what came next made me realise this was no joke.

Apparently, a few months earlier, we had disagreed about something. I had insisted my version was the correct one because that was genuinely how I remembered it. A few hours later, when I had the chance to go to my room and check, I realised my memory had been faulty.

Immediately and without any fuss whatsoever, I accepted that I had been wrong. I even endured the inevitable “I told you so!” that follows in such scenarios.

I confess I have never ever liked those four words. They are just a little too smug for my liking, the reason why I have made it a point in life to never say them to anyone else—not even my children. We all make mistakes, after all. Being graceful when someone admits to theirs is my way of doing things.

Anyway, I accepted my error, swallowed the “I told you so!” cheerfully, and thought that was the end of the matter.

Apparently, it wasn’t.

Months later, here it was resurfacing again, being recounted in front of friends as proof that I was “stubborn.” Curiously absent from the story was the part where I had accepted my mistake of my own accord just a few hours later.

Was I hurt?

Of course I was.

To my mind—and I would hope to most people’s—there is a world of difference between insisting on what you sincerely believe to be true and refusing to accept the truth once it becomes clear.

We all speak from the information we have at the time. We all remember things differently. We all believe our version until we discover otherwise. None of these are wrong and can be remotely classified as stubborn.

The real test comes afterwards.

Do we refuse to look at the facts? Do we continue insisting we are right despite evidence to the contrary? Do we refuse to acknowledge our mistake, apologise if necessary, and move on?

Now, that, to me, is stubbornness.

I hadn’t been that person. In fact, I am not that person.

Unable to keep quiet, I found myself blurting out, “But I told you I had been wrong!”

“Yes,” came the reluctant reply. “A few hours later.”

Well… yes. A few hours later was when I had the opportunity to check the facts.

And here’s the irony.

Not long afterwards it so happened that the tables were turned. Yet I didn’t hear even the faintest whisper of an apology.

Funny how memories work. Some people remember that you were wrong. They forget that you admitted it. Such is life, eh?

©️ Shail Mohan 2026