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Yippee. I have always wanted to make a hate-list. What better opportunity than now when the A to Z Challenge has thrown the alphabet H at me?! Oh by the way, this is not the sort of hate that is acidic in nature, simmers and boils inside, corroding walls and making you a hole-ridden being. It does nothing of the sort. I sure do hate the following, but I can be, nay I AM, dispassionate about them. So I will thank you in advance for not doling out advice. In case you want to know what I think of advice, you can go here.

So here goes, though frankly speaking there is no particular order to this:

1. People, whether guest or family, dillydallying when lunch/dinner is announced. I have never understood this Indian custom of having to coax and cajole guests to the table. The least people can do to show some respect and appreciation for the one who cooked the meal for you is to fall on the food with gusto. Whaddya know, in my circle I have a reputation of promptly heeding the host’s call without any fuss. I wish I had more guests like my own self.

2. Those people who sit at the table and wait expectantly TO BE SERVED. Awww, the babies. It seems their hands cannot yet do the simple function of extending themselves, taking hold of the serving spoon in the dish right in front of them, and filling their plates. Don’t you see, that requires so much of co-ordination and concentration which is beyond them. Men of course want the “wimmin” to do it for them and some “wimmin’ want other “wimmin” to.

3. It annoys me when family/guests keep staring at the television in a fascinated manner when I am asking if they want something more. The feeling at that moment is wanting to bang the dish down and walk out. I haven’t done it so far.

Well this is not just about guests and eating. So let’s move on to other things

4. People who cannot accept gracefully, be it a thanks, a compliment or a gift. Yeah, I know you are rich enough to buy anything you want, but you are poor in the acceptance department, aren’t you? Sad.

5. People who haven’t read relevant material yet will butt into the conversation with the most irrelevant and foolish observations. I do not gladly suffer the stupid, nor the intelligent who make a fool of themselves due to arrogance. Recently I had someone argue with me on a topic without having read a single word of what was written.

6. Those who turn get-together times to a ‘listen to me crib’ session. We all have our problems. How about putting them aside for the moment in times of celebrations when in a group?

7. People who corner me with what I should do with my time, my money, my things, even those things I am willing to give away for free. Oh no sir. I mustn’t give it away for free. You must take your broken WM to the man at the corner shop and get the best price possible. That the price will be cancelled out while hiring a vehicle to take it there does not enter such empty heads.

8. I hate liars. I can see through them. I just choose not to, and watch the fun instead. Recently I had the “good fortune” of hearing a blatant lie from a “friend” about someone else we both knew. I marveled at the fact that the “friend” was actually looking right into my eyes without wavering while saying it.

9. The dumbos on Facebook who share anything and everything without checking for its veracity. Some of them give the reason, ‘it could be true’. Yeah of course. drinking coriander juice day and night is going to magically turn you into an apsara. Give me a break. If you have stopped believing in Santa Claus why are you believing in such magical-cures-for-everything type of posts? Coriander has its place in the scheme of things, just like lime, onion, carrots, papaya leaves and the rest of it. How about erring on the side of caution and not being the agent of false propaganda? Actually it is good that I am on the net and not close enough to bop them one on their silly heads.

10. People who twist my words out of shape,  color it with their own meaning and then cry foul. Really?! Grow up. There are a lot of things we cannot follow or fail to understand. My kind of jokes might be one of them. Just because you do not get it, don’t label it toxic. Besides, how about ASKING what I meant?!

11. The we-women and we-men jokes/conversations/proud statements. Really? On the one hand you talk about not stereotyping/generalizing and on the other you are we-women-ing and we-men-ing at the drop of a hat. How pathetic.

12. The back-scratch-ers who talk against back-scratching. Oh scratch this one. I don’t hate it. It is actually too funny for words and has me ROFL.

This list is by no means over. But for the moment I am putting a sock in it. May be I will bring out a Part 2 or something another time. So tell me, what makes it to your hate-list?

H

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