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Today I happened to talk (on WhatsApp) to an old college-mate. She has been teaching ever since she left college and is now a retired professor. Our conversation soon turned to the still hot topic in Kerala: the entry of women of menstruating age to a particular hill-shrine. (Women traditionally weren’t allowed to go – though there have been instances of them having entered the shrine in the past which though is being strongly denied – because the deity is supposedly a bachelor God. A recent court found the restriction a violation of human rights and by an order, allowed entry to women of all ages)
Well, it hadn’t been a natural progression of conversation which landed us on the topic. The friend had sent me a ‘forward’ on WhatsApp seeing which, I had, cautiously, asked about her views on the subject. It wasn’t clear to me whether she sent it because she agreed, or disagreed with it. I know, I know. In spite, I should simply have kept my mouth shut. But a small flame of hope had risen in me, that may be, just may be, she was not one of them?
By ‘them’ I mean women who are holding steadfast to the tradition of considering themselves ‘impure’ during menstruating age and hence not worthy of visiting the bachelor God’s shrine. Believe me, in this age and time there are many, too many, of them. They actually stood on roads one day, holding lamps, proclaiming the fact, in a show of strength. I hang my head in shame.
If she wasn’t one of ‘them’, we could have a conversation on regressive practices, I hoped. High hopes, indeed. Instead, I ended up getting tips from her on how important traditions are (never mind that they were being felled like nine pins whenever convenient), how it is only ‘non-believing’ ‘activist’ women who want to climb the hill to visit the shrine (as if they are a contaminated breed!) , that those who insist on going are actually ‘hurting the sentiments’ of the believers (never mind that women who want to go are ALSO believers and hurt about the fact they are not allowed to go), how women from ‘good’ families do not consider going, only the ‘bad’ women….
Here, I gnashed my teeth and politely put a stop to the conversation.
Sorry, I said. Stop calling women ‘bad’ because they are going against the diktats of society and/or age old traditions. In fact don’t call women bad at all for any reason whatsoever. Demanding change does not make women ‘immoral’. Let’s not talk on the topic anymore because we are obviously on different sides. It is all very well meeting old friends from college. But then sooner than later you find you have grown so much, and in different directions, that apart from college stories, we have nothing else in common. A sad truth that was brought home again today.
My WhatsApp tagline reads, in no uncertain, terms: No to sexist jokes and…. bhakts. That last is a reference to the right-wingers. It is a clear statement: I am NOT one of you. Keep your distance. One would think that would suffice for people to understand and accept where I stand. Apparently not. They act as if being connected on WhatsApp somehow entitles them to dump their stupid ‘forwards’ on me. Perhaps I should find myself a megaphone and start shouting from rooftops!
©Shail Mohan 2019
Shail's Nest 
Giggling at your Title…I love how you play with words. In my vocabulary, I have down graded “Bad”.. Bad is a word only used for inanimate stuff – bad writing, food has gone bad, bad behaviour, the weather is bad, bad timing etc. you get the picture. same with the words Pure, True, sacred and holy, I dont hear it when it is associated with religion, human behaviour or opinions. In your classmates world I must be the “Baddest” I believe the place I stand at any moment is my temple if I feel “holy” enough 😛
Shukriya, Mysoul 😀 I really like how you have downgraded ‘bad’ to inanimate stuff! Lol, you and me, will be from the ‘baddest’ lot to her, yes. Smh.
All strength to you!
Thank you, Anne.
Just out of curiosity are you for the ban or against the ban? I personally don’t visit temples simply because they are too crowded….
Oh, wasn’t that obvious? 🙂 I am against the ban. Women of all ages should be allowed to go. I don’t visit temples, but women should not be discriminated against on any account.
You know I think our grannies were really smart. Calling themselves unclean for those days meant that they could get out of cooking and cleaning . Also can you imagine all those nubile women climbing up the hill with hordes of men who’ve been celibate for so long ? I know you are not interested in debating this topic and you are against female discrimination…. but honestly I prefer praying in my own home … to whichever God I please . And BTW I also support your view point
I don’t know about our grannies having been smart. In many places menstruating women were put to work, hard work too, just not inside the kitchen and some parts of the house. Fact.
It doesn’t matter what you or I prefer. There are some who prefer something else, and they should not be stopped. That’s it in a nutshell. 🙂
Ha. I got out of Whatsapp for this very reason. I can’t believe how many people of my own age are so regressive in their thinking. Whatsapp forwards and some of the comments made really gave me a blood pressure.
I have a um…friend seems like a wrong word – ex classmate, who would forward to the class group, excerpts from Tamil Sangam (300 BCE to 300 CE) literature. He would not bother to read them himself and some of the sangam poetry were dated and extremely irrelevant to the times, even evil. There was one that said “the beauty of a woman is being subservient to her man” and I flipped. I uncharitably told him I never want to hear from him ever again and stomped out of the group.
The temple issue – drives me NUTS. Seriously, what is wrong with people? If there is a deity who has issues with women, I wonder if that deity could have been omniscient enough to create human kind. Gah !
Shout, Shail. Loudly.
Thanks, Mick. I will.
I absolutely detested the fact menstruating women are impure and they cant go anywhere esp temples! If not for that blood shedding no man would have been born in this world. Sometimes I feel tired for its impossible to correct fools.
Just read an old post on Mysoul’s blog titled Irreverent which is on the same lines and I love it.
You are right. Sometimes one feels really tired about the whole thing.
I’ll check out the post you mention on Mysoul’s page. 🙂
I think she has two blogs…just realized. Chk it out!
Okay, thanks 🙂