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If you remember, the L & M (that’s the Lord & Master, mine, in case you have forgotten, my having not written about him in some time and public memory being short and all that) once had offered to buy roasted cashew-nuts to an unknown lady while my back was turned (you can read the story here). Really and truly, no made up story that. And no, it did not make me spew flames through my nostrils. I actually had a hard time controlling my laughter.

This time the shoe happened to be on the other foot, namely mine. I walked out of the trial room at the Mall with only one top from the three I had taken to try on. While walking over to my Second Born, my eyes were still scanning the area for probable replacements for the ones I had rejected. Reaching him, I gently laid my hand on his arm, my fingers tugging (gently again) at his shirt sleeve, intending to show him the one that fit me.

Surprisingly enough, the arm moved away without him having spoken a word. That seemed odd. So I brought my wandering eyes back to find what had caused him to thus move off silently. Horror of horrors, I found that the arm/sleeve I had been holding/tugging hadn’t been the Second Born’s at all.

Mortified and red as a beetroot, I exclaimed, “Oh I am sorry!” to the young man who had by then gone to stand on the other side of the display unit and was watching me warily. The mystery of the whole thing to me was that the clean-shaven short-haired young man did not in the least look anything like my son with his beard and long hair. He was not as tall as the son either. Sigh. What was I thinking?!

I was one confused person right then. I sort of recall (now) that a young girl who had been looking through a pile of clothes across from where the young man was standing had been talking to him. I have no idea what she thought of all this. I quickly turned around to look for the son and caught a PYT thing trying not to smile. But you know what saved the day for me? Or at least I’d like to think so! The prominent streaks of white hair on either side of my head. I am sure they, that is they who saw me, said to themselves, “The poor forgetful OLD lady!” Now you know why I simply LOVE my white hairs. They help me get away from tricky situations like this one, not that I am intending to jump into more of them. Oh no sir, not knowingly anyway!

I wouldn’t have made a post of this, having already shared it with my Facebook friends. But whenever the L & M makes a blooper it makes it to my blog page pronto. So if I don’t extend the favor to my own self, the L & M is going to scream, “Partiality!” sooner or later, just like the time he complained to a cousin that I was delaying inordinately writing about the time I bopped him one on his head. No kidding. I did too. If you have the time, go here to read about it.

Now that we are on the topic of the L & M, I’d like to tell you of what happened yesterday while he was driving to work. I wasn’t with him, obviously so, and mighty glad that I wasn’t too. Phew. So there he was driving on the highway when who should stare him right in his face from across the steering wheel? A spotted and dotted (his words) lizard! I kid you not. If I’d had been in his place you’d have been hearing of a major accident in the highway and you’d all have been talking of me in the past tense.

Anyway, when the L & M found that Mr. Lizard was a stowaway in his vehicle and what’s more, was not even bothered to hide itself, for there it was on the dashboard staring insolently at the owner of the vehicle, with great presence of mind, he drove to the side and parked the car. First things first. Then he opened the door on the driver’s side, moved over to the passenger seat without disturbing the cocky Mr. Lizard who was watching proceedings with an unblinking stare. The L & M then took a newspaper from the back seat, folded it appropriately and coaxed Mr. Lizard out of the door with a determined push. Mr. Lizard thus rudely (and unexpectedly) shoved out of the cosy confines of the car, landed with a thud on the road and scampered away, but not before giving the L & M a justifiably injured look. What? I thought we could be friends and your car would be mine too. Okay, that’s my overactive imagination. I could write more, but let me not digress.

Now I think the L & M should get an award for this act of bravery, for bravery it is to not lose your head and act with a calm mind when confronted with an insolent reptile that thinks nothing of taking a free ride literally right under your nose on the dashboard. So this faithfully recorded report of his actions in evicting Mr. Lizard the stowaway in a calm and controlled way, is my citation for him. Bravo, L & M! 😉

©Shail Mohan 2014

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