The Lord and Master (L& M) and I were walking down the aisles of Spencer’s Daily one fine day, whiling away the time waiting for the fish we had bought, to be cleaned and cut. I stepped over to where the breads were kept, eyeing the fresh batch of roti that had arrived debating whether to give in to my laziness and take home a couple of packets or be the conscientious homemaker and make them from scratch later on in the evening. Of course I don’t mean from growing the wheat and harvesting it! The very idea!!
“Shall I buy you some roasted kaju (cashewnuts)??” I heard a voice asking.
Well I have heard that voice for over a quarter century now, so I knew to whom it belonged. But I couldn’t immediately get to the bottom of who the roasted and salted cashew nuts were for. This I had to see for myself I thought as I turned in wide-eyed wonder and curiosity to gaze in the direction from whence the voice had come, which was coincidentally the exact place where I had left the L & M and moved on.
My eyes weren’t disappointed in anyway at what they found. They got the priceless chance of feasting on a sheepish looking L & M who was apologizing to a young lady who herself seemed dazed, with an almost nymph surprised while bathing sort of look. (Not my own, it’s from the Master, Wodehouse). People, I mean of the con artist kind, come in all varieties nowadays and God knows one could very well come in the guise of someone offering to buy you roasted and salted cashew nuts. So I really didn’t blame the lady. Even as I watched, barely managing to suppress my insane desire to giggle, she hastily and demurely withdrew from the scene dragging her child along, looking around frantically for her husband.
L & M looked up to see my gaze upon him and gave me another sheepish grin, admitting that he hadn’t realized that I had moved on to the next shelf in the aisle. Or at least that was his story. I was sorely tempted to give vent to silent mirth. But that could wait. This was good, extremely good. It is not everyday that I get an opportunity to pull the L & M’s extra long legs.
“So this is what you do when I take my eyes off you for a minute!” I said giving (or at least trying to give) him a censorious look.
“Offering to buy roasted cashew nuts to sweet young things while my back is turned! What next??!”
At this point I spoiled the effect completely by giggling helplessly. Sigh. I have never been good at even hiding birthday presents.
It is not easy to get the better of L & M. Quickly recovering lost ground, he came up with his rejoinder.
“Thank your lucky stars that she didn’t accept my offer and instead ran away! I would have been obliged to get her a packet of crisp cashew nuts if she had said ‘yes’!”
He paused before going on.
“Think of it. She’d take it home and when her husband asked, would have told him, a nice gentleman at the store kindly offered to buy it for her and that she accepted since she did not have the heart to refuse him!”
Once started there is no stopping the L & M.
“And what’s more,” he continued “she could easily have told me, ‘I’d like those and those and those too!’ and then where would I have been?? Being the perfect gentleman, I would have had to buy them all for her!”
I almost choked on the musk-melon milkshake right then and L & M got busy thumping my back. Phew!!
hahaha…uncle has got great tact!! 🙂
hehehe Puppa eez juz lyk moi 😛 I’ve done that many a times… talkin to strangers & when they grin, I blush in embarrassment 😛 ehe 😀 I can imagine how mumma wld hav giggled 😛
LMAO, how is it that things like this happen around you? You act like a magnet at times, don’t ya?
Like this blog! You are getting even better and better!
nice one 🙂
LOL!! You guys are made for each other!! That was hilarious, I wish I was there to see this even unfold.
he he he !!nice!!
i like cajou!!!
“So this is what you do when I take my eyes off you for a minute” LOL!!
i dont have English words for this stupendous behavior of uncle…
for uncle… ‘veenidam vishunulokam’…
translated in my broken-english ‘IF he fell anywhere, then IT will turn out that he landed in the highest place of respect’
ha ha ha ha…
veeenidam vishnulokam, thanne, for him!!!!
I am sure you got a packet of roasted cashews aftr that
Ha Ha Ha… you made me laugh.
Thanks for dropping by my blog. It’s always nice to see new ppl at home. 🙂
this is PG Wode….such a small incident and you managed to keep the interest of the reader for over a page 🙂
Very well written.
But I guess your husband has to get more tactful not to get caught 🙂
“nymph surprised while bathing sort of look” – lol
Such a humorous account of an ordinary incident! I enjoyed it very much.
First time here, via Blog Bharti. LOL :)And you have given him a very nice name, Lord and master!!! This was good.
Amrita, you bet he has tact!! 🙂
Bubbly, really, I laughed so much that day. I had a nice time making fun of him. 😛
Yeah maybe I do act as a magnet, Hrishi. And I am glad these happen around me!! 😉
Carl, so nice to see you here and thanks for the appreciation. I miss your blogs and the subtle humor there in.
Ganga, thank you! 🙂
Rashmi, giggle away girl. BTW did you read ‘When men don’t ask for directions..’?? You might get to giggle some more! 😛 Here is the link: https://shailsnest.com/wp/memoirs/when-men-dont-ask-for-directions/
Isabel, so its cajou eh?? Very similar to kaju!!
Vikram, yeah the things he gets into if I take my eyes off him! Sigh!! 😉 Lol
Athe Swathi, veenidathu uruluka ennu oru prayogam undallo malayalathil. Athu thanne sambhavam!! 😉
Shhh… Vivek, don’t tell anyone, I got two of them packets of crisp roasted and salted kaju after that fiasco. 😛 Hehehe…
Cuckoo, glad I made you laugh. Maybe you would like to read about my pink towel?! Here is the link: https://shailsnest.com/wp/memoirs/my-pink-towel/
Jammy, I am honored you think so. (By the way I am a Wodehouse freak) I have been going though some of your posts (definitely coming over for more) and laughing my head off.
Salil, yeah won’t he have to be now?? But then I will get even smarter. So there!! ‘Nymph surprised while bathing‘ is a neat phrase don’t you think?? I always giggle when I come across it in Wodehouse books. Waiting for the next post from you. I think I have read most all and enjoyed them thoroughly. No quizzing me on them please. I have left exams behind donkeys years ago!!
Manju, thank you. Life is made up of such ordinary incidents, isn’t it?? Loved your posts. I will be back.
IHM, I am so glad you found me and not only dropped in but left a comment so that I could find you. I simply loved so many of your posts coz it reflects the way I think too. I have you blogrolled. I have not yet found the time to return and read some more. But I shall be back!!
Bob Hoff said:
This very funny post helps to cement my impression that your L & M is a very gallant knight. Imagine buying to buy an unknown young woman (with a baby attached to her) cashews plus whatever else she might want, even though the “Very Aware and Attentive “Queen of the Higher Echelon” (YOU)was nearby.
His gallantry is to be encouraged, though I can imagine some confusion on the part of the woman wondering why she was being offered a portion of “roasted cashew nuts.”
BTW I am very relieved to know that you stop short of growing and harvessting your own wheat. After all, there is only so much time in the day, no?
Goog job. Another humorous journey. Thanks for sharing.
You must be fun to shop with, especially with those musk melon milkshakes. But it looks difficult to sneak a gift of cahews to a young lady by you, no? :))))))
Bob Hoff said:
goog=good in Bobese
Bob, your comment to my post is something I enjoy thoroughly. There is no one here at the moment or else raised eyebrows would have been in order at the way I burst out into spontaneous laughter reading what you have written above. Indeed I stop short of growing and harvesting the wheat. There just isn’t time Bob!! :-)))))))
Of course its difficult to get anything past the (Whats this??! A new name from Bob??! Adds it promptly to her list of names) Queen of the Higher Echelon (Yo its ME)! Yeah I do love muskmelon milkshake. Its so cooling and yummy!!
J P Joshi said:
Passing through……Read this post. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I could actually visualise the whole scene while reading your post. Just outstanding.
J P Joshi, thanks for the visit and the appreciation! 🙂
Hahahahaha priceless!!!! You are wayyy to funny. I am blogrolling you
Ritu, glad you found it funny! 😉 Thanks for the honor!
LOL!! oh boy!! Thank you for sharing this!! 😀
I can so imagine the look on her face!! 😆
Pingback: When the shoe was on the other foot | Shail's Nest