I get mine at the Army CSD and sometimes at Spencer’s or even at the Margin free store or the local kirana. Where do you get yours? I am of course, talking of that indispensable item of daily use, a toothbrush. You would be getting yours from somewhere similar too, I am sure, since they, the toothbrushes, don’t grow on trees. What I mean to say, is there anyone, just ANYONE at all, who doesn’t know WHERE to get a toothbrush, of all things??!!!!!
These are after all lessons you learn at your mother’s knee or even on your father’s shoulder, when he takes you out on that joy ride to see the world from a level higher than the two-and-a-half-or-so feet that you are accustomed to and totally bored with. I can just picture that extremely poignant and emotional moment when life’s many lessons are imparted by the pater to the offspring sitting on lofty heights.
Father: Child, it is time you learnt the truth about toothbrushes.
Child: (all wide eyed and attentive)
Father: They don’t grow on trees like everything does in your fairy tale books.
Child: You don’t say Dad! I thought EVERYTHING grew on trees, except babies of course which err… the stork brings.
Father: (unobtrusively heaves a sigh of relief for not having to answer that one) Of course errr… storks brings babies. Be that as it may, toothbrushes don’t grow on trees. Remember that. And most importantly they are NOT found on blog pages either.
Child: (nods head assimilating this piece of information that’s new while laughing to him(her)self on having fooled the father about the stork and babies. Of course (S)HE knew where babies came from, the hospital gave them off to those in need. Wasn’t his/her little brother brought back from there??) You don’t say Dad??! Not on blog pages either??
Father: No Siree, definitely not on blog pages.
Child: Coool. Who would have thought that?? (Mulls over it a bit) If not on trees, the next place I was gonna suggest was a blog page Dad. Good that you have told me facts as they are, dad. Now I would NEVER go look for toothbrushes in any blog page. Oh no Siree not me.
Father: (Looks with pride at the quick learner of an offspring) Attaboy(girl)! How brainy you are to have grasped things so quickly! (Inwardly thanks the Lord for his offspring not having taken after him)
A somewhat similar story unfolds when it comes to learning at the mother’s knee except that she gives the child a stare of suspicion and disbelief when it comes to the matter about storks. Unlike the father she is not that easily fooled into thinking that her child really believes that babies are delivered by storks.
Mother: Child, it is good to learn early on in life about the truth of things. Toothbrushes are not brought by Santa Claus nor are they found on blog pages.
Child: (realizing instinctively that important lessons of life are being imparted listens in rapt attention) Go on, Mom.
Mother: When you grow up, don’t make an ass (the animal of course) of yourself and go looking for toothbrushes on blog pages, especially that of someone called Shail.
Child: (shivers a little hearing chill in the mother’s voice when she uttered the name Shail) Why Mom?? Why Shail especially??
Mother: …Because if you do, she is going to write about it in one of her blogs and make you the laughing stock before half of the world or (grinds teeth) as much of the silly world as reads her silly blogs. That’s why. (Abruptly stops grinding teeth remembering the dentist told her not to) Now go and play.
You see, that’s how it goes. Conscientious parents do their duty and teach valuable lessons to their children. And conscientious children listen and remember what their parents have taught them. I have done my duty and taught the monkeys, errrr…. the sons I mean, that toothbrushes don’t grow on trees nor are found on blog pages. They on their part have listened and remembered. I am sure that is the case with most parents and children. But there are those unfortunate parents whose children question their wisdom and go on a quest of finding toothbrushes where they were especially told toothbrushes don’t exist. Then there are also those unfortunate children whose parents neglected their sacred duty and did not teach them the truth about where not to look for toothbrushes.
One such, either a neglected or rebellious child, visited my blog page in search of a toothbrush. My heart went out to the person who left this message for me.
The person did not leave me a forwarding address or I would have helped the poor soul and given directions on where exactly to look for a toothbrush or if it was urgent, I could easily have lent one of my own, an unused one of course. Imagine going through life all these years without brushing your teeth because you look for them in the most unlikely of places!! Sigh. I feel quite sorry, I bet the poor soul has no friends by now. 😉
Where did he get the toothpaste then?
Me: If you knew where to look for toothbrushes then you’ll know where to find toothpaste as well. Anyway, they are not on Shail’s blog page! 😉
But Shail if i am not wrong the tooth brushes started growing on trees only and particularly ‘Neem ka Tree’. It is this present plastic version that we have adapted from the ones which we or our forefathers used to pluck from trees. The tree version was and is still called a ‘Datun”. :-))
Me: Aaaargh! I knew someone was going to say that!! 😛 Hehehe… Oh yeah they grew on trees first. But things changed and when they did parents took care to teach their young ‘uns. 😉 Of course we hear there are still places where the tree variety of toothbrushes are to be found and that ‘primitive’ people still use it!! 😛 😉
Wodehouse! This was pure Wodehouse!! Wonderful
Me: Gee… thanks! 😀
There’s a search engine called ask jeeves;
an fan of Wodehouse you are everyone perceives.
There is nothing strange if a reader believes
whatever be the query an answer Shail retrieves.:D
Me: Govind, I am a Wodehouse fan all the way. Anytime Anywhere is Wodehouse time for me. 🙂
Indian Homemaker said:
LOL Now you know what someone will find if they look for where do toothbrushes grow 🙂
Indian Homemaker said:
LOL Now you know what someone will find if they google for where do toothbrushes grow 🙂
Me: Wow, never thought of that!! Hehehe.. This will be one more addition to the weird searches that seem to land here!
Post Script said:
Awesome. Simply awesome. Like someone already said, very Wodehouse *hails*
Me: *takes a bow* Thank you!
Are you a Wodehouse fan too??
Ha ha! very funny!
Me: Thanks Manju! 🙂
I thought of mentioning Neem ka ‘dantun’!
Good imagination and I am having a big smile on my face! Must ask my husband to read…he will enjoy most!
Me: Yeah Sandhya, neem ka datun does bust the toothbrushes dont grow on trees theory! 😛 But I stick to my story that plastic ones don’t grow on trees! 😉 Well, hope your husband enjoyed the post too. 🙂
Oh my! Of all pages in the net, yours was luckily chosen to be asked. I guess maybe because this person found your page a whole lot informative. That’s why, he or she never hesitated to ask such a very unusual question. Hehehe…However, I remembered the book I read on pre-historic times that (although you have said that toothbrushes do not grow on trees), during those times, people use the twigs of a mint tree as a sort of a toothbrush. After they have tea in the morning, a twig without its bark is to be chewed to have a clean teeth and a fresh mouth. This is from the Clan of the Cave Bears by Jean M. Auel.
Me: Like Balvinder wrote in his comment above, here too people used/use twigs of the Neem tree! 🙂 Just as well you told me about the mint tree. I have to now revise my assumptions about toothbrush nt growing on trees and make it clear that plastic ones dont grow on trees! 😉 😛 Thank Ayla!
But then, Shail, who would think of using a twig today as a toothbrush??? LOL!
Happy read here! ^_^
Gosh!! So, toothbrushes don’t grow on trees!!!
(The article was really funny… :))
Me: No, they don’t Vivek. I bet they never taught you that in KVs!! 😉 Thank you!
ummmm, what’s a toothbrush? LOL!!
Great contrast between the father and the mother too! How different men and women see things. 🙂
Me: Whoa Sam! Where you the one?? :O 😛 😉 Hehehe, yeah great difference between Moms and Dads! Nice to see you here. I read your latest post. Will be back to comment.
Hmmm……..quite a toothy issue. =)
Me: Add to it the light glinting off my silver-capped molars and the next thing you know you’ll have the place swarming with dentists! 😉 I know, I know, poor response! BTW welcome to my page.
I agree with Ritu. This was pure Wodehouse!!
LOL I get mine from a toothbrush tree in the backyard. 😀
Me: Whoa! You have a toothbrush tree?? I’ll have to re-write my theory about toothbrushes and make room for the toothbrush tree now! 😉 😛
WHoa! I laughed even when I was reading the whole thing second time. Hilarious post maam 😀
Me: I am gratified. Keep laughing away. 🙂
Who would have thought that a mundane thing as a toothbrush could become the epicentre of a fascinating post?! Wow!
Btw, you’ve been awarded (though I realised quite late, that you were already awarded the same by Dreamer :-))
Me: First of all thank you for the award and sorry for the delay in acknowledging it here. Now, as a homemaker, mundane things are all I have to write about, the washing machine (Whirly), toothbrush, the pink towel, the dogs, kittens, monkeys, the Lord and Master etc etc 🙂 😉
ROFL..my heart too goes out to that poor soul..the person must be cursing his/her fate to have come by your page to look for a toothbrush!!
Me: I really fervently hope he comes by to read this! 😉 I have a sneaking suspicion that spam has increased since I wrote that post about spam comments! 😛
Ahh Shail, My mouth was feeling a tad furry after breakfast so when I saw your title I can by to look for a toothbrush. Alas and alack my mother had negelected my education,but gratefully I found many laughs.
Me: Sally, how nice to see you here! 🙂 Glad I could step in and enlighten you with regard to the neglected aspects of your education! :))))) Happy to note that you found laughs. Thanks Sally.
Gosh!!! You knew that I studied in KV!
And yah.. I have one more reason for why I hate KV.. 😛
Me: Of course I remember reading your blogs: a story and one blog about how your nephew or was it a cousin, who asked the meaning of ‘Hare’ while saying his prayers. Hope I remember right!
Bob Hoff said:
Ah, the “The Clan of the Cave Bears” series my wife enjoyed very much. The mint branch surely was a forerunner of the toothpick, not the toothbrush. Did you know Shail that at the caverns in a lower chamber we have a “Texas Toothpick” stalagmite, pretty large. This is a formation that only a few of the public go by because it is a little more difficult trip to that chamber than the normal route and tat tour costs extra.
But I digress. Boy do I.
Did you refer to L & M above as mundane? Yikes.
The homemaker, the mother, the domestic engineer–all perform vastly significant duties, as you well know. Your blogs help us readers stop for a while and notice events and people and equipment a little more closely with your award-winning humor.
Thanks for sharing “The Truth about Truth Brushes”–well done!
A quick stork story–true I think. Family legend has it that when I was born that my Dad made my Mom cry by observing that I was so ugly that he wished the hospital had given he and my Mom the stork and kept the baby (me).
Touche, Dad, touche. Actually people who would know say that I have always looked liked my Dad, especially as I get older. :O)
Lol @stork story. Bob are you sure you are not the stork but yourself?? 😛 *Shail lol @her own joke since Bob probably is trying to hide the fact that it isn’t funny*
Texas toothpick?? Hmm.. Wonder if I will be able to see the caverns some day.
Well Bob, I do write about thing mundane (including the L &M and there you go “Yikes!” again! Hehehehe…). I feel, there is a lot in the mundane to notice, laugh at. Life is not always about ‘world news’ alone. Peopl go on and on about doing something worthwhile. They forget that simply standing and staring (not merely at women which the Mallu men think is what the poet meant when he wrote that) and observing is also doing something worthwhile. But very few understand that. It is all about seriousness. OMG that’s enough to have me rotflol. If all of us were writing about ‘serious’ and ‘worthwhile’ things imagine what a boring place the world/net would be! A circus needs clowns or else what sort of circus is it anyway?? So I do my bit 😉
Bob Hoff said:
“tat” = “that”
Rofl..I was wondering where the story was leading, nice twist at the end. Will be sure to pass on your nuggets of wisdom to my little squirts.
Me: It IS rotflol time when reading the spam. Really, I am afraid I’d become repetitive, or else I could go on forever writing about spam and some of the comments and messages one gets at social networking sites. Really, the net is such an entertainer! 😉
Funny blog Shaila. Did not need a tooth brush to tickle myself.
Me: Hey vt. I made you laugh without tickles. Good enough for me. *pats herself on the back on a job well done* 🙂
🙂 I had a guess that you are writing about google search term or about a comment..
Some people are really that inncoent (read dumb) you know
Me: Or rather some people are too smart. They think their comment will show up in the blog page and get their websites some more clicks! Fat chance indeed! 😉
Jithin V Mohan said:
Even I get hundreds of spam comments!! But they always want to buy or sell “something else”!!
And since your blog gives a pretty good impression that you are an awesome homemaker, AND if my parents had not told me that toothbrushes don’t grow on trees AND if Yahoo Answers didn’t give me a quick answer AND since Google Locals is not available in Kerala (yet), AND if i was desperate to get one, I think even I would have considered asking you!
Wow!! If u could exaggerate getting a spam comment into something as elaborate as this, I think u should have tried news reading! (I don’t know if you do it already) And you seriously have that look.
AND this is asked seriously, do you write columns in newspapers?
Me: answering the seriously asked question first No I don’t write columns for newspapers. Ahem… errr… do you own a newspaper?? Are you considering hiring me?? 😀
I am flattered to know you’d have considered asking me where you can get a tothbrush. In fact I recently found google search for toothbrush tree is throwing up this blog post in its results!! 😛 Hahaha.
BTW did you check this blog: Spam Comments ??
I admit that i came on this page for some thing really out of the box……
and Bingo…..I got it….but but but..I never thought you will make me rotflol….
Keep it up.
Me: Hello Makk. Glad to have you rotflol. 😛 🙂 ..and welcome to my page. Do keep visiting.
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Ha ha ha…I’m glad to note that I’m not the only one who gets such rubbish stuff. 😀
Lol ;). Here is one more if you’d like to read:
You know the first thing that came to my mind as I read your post. The style is almost Wodehouse 🙂
Thanks, Ruch 🙂
A Walk into the Woods said:
Absolutely absolutely hilarious Shail – this one cheeeeered me up and made my day!!!! Thanks for sharing.
I came here expecting some hifi revelation about toothbrushes but what I found is – like, wow!! what was that!! … annndd who was that??? he he
Haha. Happy you liked it 🙂
Tempest Rose said:
Hahaha this is hilarious!
Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Sheila M. Good, Author said:
Shail, you are too funny! Ambitious too. Best of luck with writing every day.
@sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
About the only thing I am ‘ambitious’ about, Sheila 😀 And thank you!
Hahahah – agree with everyone who said “total Wodehouse, this”!
Thank you 🙂 🙂
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