What fears have you overcome and how?
Every time I open the blogging site, there’s some weird question staring me in the face. Sometimes I have been tempted to answer, but mostly I simply ignored them. For the first time today I thought, ‘why not?’ You see, of fears I have aplenty.
Spiders, rats, lizards, cockroaches to name a few are my nemesis. As everyone here knows I normally run away when I see them. I do pretend to keep a brave front if there are people around. Appearance, people appearance! Nobody wants an old lady screaming and running around as if her tail is on fire. Moreover, imagine the disaster of falling down and breaking a bone or two. So brave face it is.
Then there’s the fear of heights, rather of falling off great heights. I am told we are born with the fear of falling down. So that one is off my hands. Maybe only death can take away something you are born with? What I mean to make clear is you will not see me bungee jumping or jumping off an aeroplane or things like that anytime in the near future.
There’s something I was taught to fear: What will people think/say? That is surely not something inborn, but acquired with constant outside pressure. Parents, teachers, society, religion. All of them were bent on making sure that I grew up fearing a faceless other and their opinion of me.
I understand why it is so important to scare children, especially girls. I really do. How else can self-effacing service-minded conformist people-pleasers be made out of consecutive generations? Our culture is especially not in favour of individualism. Speaking up, asking questions, independent thought, are all frowned upon as it interferes in creation of puppets. Obedience is the key word, blind obedience at that.
This fear, of ‘what people will think/say’ is something I have overcome to a great extent (I am still chipping away at remnants). How, you might ask. That is not so easy to answer. Perhaps it is something innate in me that gradually took over and conquered the fear. It certainly was helped along by my habit of reading. Books that I read had cartload of information and characters who had character, just the things needed to spark the dormant embers within into a, if not roaring at least a medium sized flame.
Shail Mohan 2023
Shail's Nest 
One of the joys of growing older is losing that fear of ‘what will people say’ 🙂
That is so very true, Anne! 🙂
I too have gotten over that ‘fear of what others think’ although some would say I should, perhaps, have a little more of it than I do… 😀
Gone a little too far in the other direction, have we? 😅
Maaaaaaybe just a tad?….#grumpyoldman 😀
😄😄
Fearing what people will say is, I think, is something a lot of younger adults fear too. I know because I’m one of them, but I think it’s a lot that we have to unlearn. I don’t think any of us are born and go, “I’m afraid to talk to people.” 😂😅
If you catch my drift.
Yes it does involve a lot of unlearning.
Maybe someday, I’ll get over the fear of what other people think. I’m a natural people-pleaser anyway, and learning from a early age that other people’s opinions were always more important than mine definitely reinforced that. But, one day at a time, and I’ll get there eventually. Great post, shail!
Thank you. You will get there 👍🏼
I have yet to rid it in some places. I recognize, I am much better since at ignoring the people compared to 2 decades ago. But, yes, the people pleaser in me is so hard to combat, especially with people in the family/clan. Obedience- I loathe that word. I replace it with Follow any chance I get, at least, follow implies a choice of not following…Obedience feels like a raised Axe, to me, no choice.
I hear you. It is indeed hard. But once you are on the journey, it gets easier. 🙂 Good luck to you.
I think ‘what will people think/say’ is the biggest fear of them all. If one can overcome it, it would be liberating 🙂
I agree, Meha. 🙂