One day a friend and neighbor of mine told me she was going to spend the day with her sister in another part of the city. But within a couple of hours I got a call from her to say she was back and since she had time on her hands, would I please go and spend the morning with her if I was free myself?
Wasn’t your sister home, I asked her walking into her house ten minutes later. She was silent for a moment and then blurted out: We had words and I walked out of her home in a huff. We are not speaking to each other. Apparently, this was a recurring theme in their life. They met, poked their noses in each others lives, fought, didn’t speak to each other for a while, then met again and it went on. She then asked me, ‘Don’t you ever have fights with your sister?’
Her question set me thinking. Honestly, I don’t remember anything similar ever happening between my sister and I. Not so far anyway, and both of us now have crossed into our fifties. Perhaps, we did when we were kids, I answered my friend, though even in that faraway phase of our life I was hard-pressed to remember instances when we actually fought over something and didn’t speak to each other. My memories are of playing together amicably and also being protective about my sister, even daring to take on mother for scolding her. Of course, there was the time sis bit me in the stomach. But when that happened she was barely two, and I, four. That surely didn’t count as an answer to my friend’s question, right?
Curious, I asked her what her fights were about. Oh this and that, she said. Sometimes it was about what I told her about how to bring up her child, other times it was something I said about her new haircut, or insisting she change the arrangement in her sitting room or…. The list was pretty long. There it was. In my book this was/is called meddling. And I do NOT meddle. Period. My sister has her ways, I have mine. In fact the same courtesy is extended to anyone and everyone I know.
My firm belief is that as adults we must be left to make our own lives. Major decisions in life or the minor ones, people have to be left to their own choices. I might proffer an opinion if asked, but strictly underscored as my opinion, given only because I was asked, not binding on anyone AT ALL. This nature of mine, especially in a place where meddling is seen as an integral part of life, might be (IS!) construed as not-caring by a lot many people. I am perfectly okay with that because what do they really know about me anyway?
There is another side to this not-meddling nature of mine. I do NOT let anyone meddle with my life as well. If anyone tries, they’ll definitely come to know what the words ‘Winter is coming’ from A Game of Thrones actually means. 😉
©Shail Mohan 2017
Nice read. Wish people extended this to all their relationships .
Thank you. Indeed, I wish too.
Hi shail if you don’t mind me asking what software do you use to watermark your photos on the blog?
I use Picasa, and it has the water marking function in it. At other times I use their add-text facility.
Thank you shail
I agree with you 100%.
Very very hard work to establish boundaries. But I have mine in place as well.
Good that you have!
“My firm belief is that as adults we must be left to make our own lives. Major decisions in life or the minor ones, people have to be left to their own choices. I might proffer an opinion if asked, but strictly underscored as my opinion, given only because I was asked, not binding on anyone AT ALL. This nature of mine, especially in a place where meddling is seen as an integral part of life, might be (IS!) construed as not-caring by a lot many people. I am perfectly okay with that because what do they really know about me anyway?”
I share the same belief too Shail !! :DD. Rather than meddling into each other’s lives, telling them how they should live their lives (what to eat, wear, careers to choose, bring up kids), just live and let live. When coming across people from different life paths, you start to gain a better understanding that people are unique and different in their own ways and that they can always teach you something that you don’t see in your own life. Unfortunately not a lot people see this nowadays….smh.
And yea, like the GOT reference too :D. Can’t wait for the next season to air coming on July 16th and need to finish the third book “Storm of Swords” :p
I am on my 4th: Feast for Crows. 🙂