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I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 9th in the list is a letter to ‘Someone you wish you could meet’

 

Dear Someone I Wish I Could Meet,

Sooner than later. I hope you got that. Sooner. Than. Later. I have a few questions to ask of you and something to do at the end of it all. I have been dying to, all my lifetime. I only hope I get the opportunity very, very soon. In the meantime, I am glad to write, and prepare you sort of, for what’s to come.

I know why Superman was sent to earth. His home planet, Krypton was doomed, about to explode and leave everyone dead. His parents, with the intent of saving their infant son, launched him to Earth. Noble reason.

But….. tell me, WHAT was YOUR objective in putting me here? Was it your totally inappropriate sense of humor, or did you have some grand plans which you haven’t shared with me as yet? I hope you didn’t miss the ring of sarcasm in that second part of the question I just asked. I know written sentences don’t convey much. That’s just the reason I have bothered to explain. But in case you truly have grand plans you haven’t shared as yet, isn’t it time you revealed them now? After all, there isn’t time left to do anything much now. In case you were wondering, yes,  I am being sarcastic. Once again.

You know what? They call you the Evil One for a reason, though personally I’d prefer a somewhat stronger word, something that would sting you all over and make you cringe with the memory of pain each time it is uttered. Look what you did. You took a perfectly innocent Neptunian and instead of sending her to her home planet to be with her people, you put her among the strange Earthlings. For what reason? Just so you could sit back, watch the fun and have a hearty laugh?

Okay. So you have had your laugh. What now? Or is that it? You had a laugh and it is over as far as you are concerned. To hell with consequences for the poor abandoned thing. How does one measly Neptunian matter to you, eh? Perhaps now you are already on to a fresh project to amuse yourself. Is that how it goes? That reminds me, I wonder who the lucky Earthling is who is living among the Neptunians. Sigh.

What I cannot understand is how my people let this happen. Who was the traitor among us who let you in? What did you bribe them with? I thought Neptunians were above bribery unlike Earthlings. The uppermost thought in the majority of Earthlings’ mind is always, ‘What can we get out of it for ourselves?’. Ugh. Matlabi. Never mind what that means. It’s a Hindi word and why the hell should I translate it for you, anyway?

I know this letter does not convey a fraction of how I feel about you. So make that meeting between us, sooner than later. Till then I will hold on to the sack of red bricks. Don’t ask me, ‘why red bricks’? It’s something I picked up while here on Earth. But, what’s this? You are the one who manipulated me into serving term on Earth and you don’t even know what red bricks are for? Oh yes, I agree it is used for building walls. But I have a better use for them and no, I am NOT going to tell you what THAT is. Ha. If you are so keen to know, go ask some of the old-timers from Yahoo 360.

I know what your next question will be. What’s Yahoo 360? Hmmm…. Here is an idea. Let’s make a deal. You come down to Earth and learn all about the different uses of red bricks, what Yahoo 360 is and a whole lot of other new and exciting things. In fact you will lovvvvvve this planet. There are many of your ilk here and you will feel quite at home. In return, please, please, please send me back home.

Or else…. Well, there is always the earlier plan of mine. Like hell I am going to tell YOU what it is. So don’t forget, Sooner. Than. Later.

Yours

The Switched One

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To those who find this gobbledygook, read this: The blue blip

Those who are taking part in the 30 Day letter Challenge, please don’t forget to add your links to the linky over at Hrishikesh‘s page.

©Shail Mohan 2014

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