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I have been hearing this for quite some time now, from my own childhood in fact, and THAT means it has been around quite a long, long time indeed. The boys those days used to ask, in between sniggering (and they have the nerve to criticize giggling), what that one thing was that they could do that the girls could not. Banish the thought. No, it is not what you think, namely the Indian pastime of spraying roadside walls whenever the bladder needs emptying, much like the canines. At least, that would have been a fairly intelligent response. But unfortunately, the answer that they came up with (without fail) to their own juvenile question (of which they are, unthinkably so, inordinately proud) was stuff that proved conclusively to me what a good job we as a society are doing in creating imbeciles out of our male children. Not that we are doing anything spectacular to create intelligent beings out of female children. But that is for another day.

Anyways, here is the idiotic brilliant answer: Men can take off their shirt, but women cannot. And THAT is supposed to make men (hold your breath) superior to women.

Here we go round the mulberry bush,
The mulberry bush,
The mulberry bush.
Here we go round the mulberry bush
So early in the morning.
(Make that, all day and night)

Sorry, I couldn’t help singing that little ditty. I mean, how could I not when four decades later I start turning grey and wrinkled only to find the next wave of the supposedly superior beings m.e.n. are at the very same (how boring, yawn!) juvenile game (link), trying to prove their mettle by sticking to prototype. Here we go round the mulberry bush, round and round and round… never daring to stop and ask, “WHY THE HELL? Let me use my rusty brain!” Such hopes we have for the future, all dashed to the ground.

Since the same broken record is still playing, here is my answer (which being a non-blogger I could not give all those years ago, but which I am able to now) to the morons superior beings out there in case any of them happen to come across my blog. Whaddya know Empty-heads Full-Heads (and kind-hearted that I am, I am not mentioning what it is full of), I am a woman and remove my shirt daily, at bath time, bed time and any time I feel like, and so do countless other women all over the world. In fact ALL of them take off their shirts, trousers, skirts, undergarments and all. What the hell did you think? That we women lived in the same stinky, soiled clothes day in and day out? Or did you think our brains are so addled that we did not have the dexterity to undo buttons, straps and such? Like, really?! Give me a break.

Ahhh… I see it now. You crafty devils have all along been suggesting that women cannot saunter bare-chested in the public, while the oh-so-powerful men can. Right? Seriously, it beats me how walking bare-chested translates to superiority anywhere other than in the heads of those ‘dropped on their heads as babies’ (Thank you, Wodehouse). But if you superior beings who run the world say so, I am willing to give it some thought.

My thought is it is all that water that is the root cause. I know water is essential to humans, but when it accumulates at the wrong place, inside heads for example, the result is such spectacularly unhinged thinking (link) that is articulated with obvious pride. This also happens when you have a lot of hollow areas within and hot air inadvertently fills the vacant spaces. To counter brilliant expositions that pop out as a result, one needs an example in the league of equations from Einstein himself. So here is one such. Do pay close attention, or you might miss the nub.

Tell a man, to step forward. Now with a rope, tie both his legs together at the ankles, very, very tightly. Lift him upon your shoulder, carry him over and dump him at the starting point (yes we are running a race here). Fire a gun indicating that the race has begun. Alongside him will be running the ace runner of yesteryear, P.T. Usha. Hmmm… On second thoughts, we won’t bother our national pride with such silly experiments and simply opt for an undernourished girl-child of three, from the local slum.

Okay. There she goes running, the cute little thing, and wins the race too. How sweet! Now it has been proved fairly and squarely that girl children are superior to even grown men. Do you dumbos clever dodos agree? No????!!! Why ever not? The man did not run when asked to, the little girl ran. Where is the problem? All above board, if you ask me. Unfair? What do you mean it was an unfair race? The man’s feet were tied, yes. So what?!!! Isn’t it very similar to how fair it is when when society restricts women from going topless and then men remove their shirts and crow that they win? I know this is rocket science for you and not so easy to grasp. Try draining some of that water off your brains, things will then be clearer.