We have our friendly neighborhood Kingfisher with us here today on Shail’s Nest. He has kindly agreed to give us lessons on How To Eat A Worm Like A Bird. Please give him a big hand Bloggers. Thank you! Over to you Mr. KF!
Thank you, Lady. It sure is an honor Lady, being on your blog Shail’s Nest and all that rot. Yeah, Whatever blah-blah you humans say. But where is the nest? I don’t see any nest! I was under the impression that there was a nest where I could spend some cozy hours. No nest? Then why have it in your blog name? Totally misleading title for a blog, I tell you. What? Oh ah! The audience is waiting. Yessir! I will get on the job right away of imparting bird wisdom. By the way I do have issues with you humans using the term ‘bird-brained’. But…okay, sure, sure… I will keep it for another day.
So getting back to lessons on how to swallow a worm, first thing to do is to go catch one of your own worms. Don’t look at me. No siree, no no no! They can be found all around. Nothing like getting your own worm for the betterment of your soul. This one here is all MINE! By the way, I will let you in on a secret. All this about early bird catching the worm is nothing but mere humbug. For instance, I caught this one at 15-30 hours by the Lady’s camera clock. So there!
Have you all got your worms? Now easy does it. Don’t let it slip away from your beak. Oh sorry, you people don’t have beaks. Then it IS pretty dicey. A worm is liable to slip away easily from between smooth human lips. That is, if you have not gone “YUCK! and spit it out already. So hold it with your teeth. By the way, tell me again. Why the hell have I been brainwashed into giving you these lessons? Oh she is a smooth talker, that Shutterbug Lady! I will be declared a pariah by my own community for depriving birds of their daily sustenance. The things one gets into for a moment of fame. And no nest to rest either. Sheesh!
Anyways… Now start pulling it (the worm, it is smooth) in slowly, Try to imitate the way you drink coke through a straw. Yeah I knew that would be a good example. Trust humans to drink useless things. Of course that is not how WE birds do it. As if you can ever eat like birds. Hyuk hyuk hyuk. But it’s gonna be immense fun watching you all try to do it.
Now look up, open your beak… ooops, I mean mouth, wide and swallow it and feel it wiggling down your throat. Feels good, right?
What? It is coming out? You wanna throw up? Hold it down! Hold it down! Okay, you can do one thing. For a few moments look up and stay still. Not only will the worm reach your stomach *burp* but if you are lucky, some shutter-bugger may come along and click you in that posture of Nirvana (link) just like the lady here did of me. Go and take a look!
Thank you, humans. I hope you won’t eat up all our worms! Gawd,I am gonna be pecked by the lot when I get back. Cya Lady, if I am not lynched to death by the winged population. And I didn’t get to see a nest either.