I have a few strands of gray hair, masquerading as coppery red due to the henna I apply, adorning my head. Of course like conscientious children the world over, the sons senior and junior have done their overzealous bit and contributed unstintingly towards turning a few among the glossy black strands to gray, especially during the years they hadn’t fully evolved into humans and resembled more, in actions and appearance, our ancestors who lived on trees. The times when they were at the doorstep of adulthood all set to turn into perfect gentlemen and were involved in valiantly fighting and subduing a monster called Board Exams might also have given its fair share. But being a Cool Mom (in their own words) who lost her cool (and that too periodically) and screamed and threw tantrums only when at the end of her tether on finding for the umpteenth time that their rooms resembled a pig sty (though I seriously doubt if Lord of Emsworth would ever agree to let the Empress of Blandings stay in their rooms) my personal opinion is that their contribution came mainly via the stress I suffered each time I entered their rooms.
I can say with certainty that the gray hair I sport, though disguised as red, is not all their doing. Contributors to the cause came in the form of well-meaning (my foot!) people (also called relatives) who hover around and take inordinate pride in their well meant (my foot!) nosiness guaranteed to turn a perfect crown of black to white. There is also this invisible but all-powerful entity spoken of in hushed tones of reverence called ‘Society’ that everyone seems to be in awe of and dare not displease, that tries every which way at its disposal to not only gray your glossy black hair but also your very self with its shackles. Besides the above mentioned there has been one other person who also threw her hat in the ring in trying (and succeeding) to turn a couple of my lustrous black hair to gray. And that someone was Vasanthi, my maid.
Vasanthi came to work for me almost a year back when I moved house. She is a thin dark complexioned pretty mother of two in her early thirties. Vasanthi gets up very early in the morning to finish the work in her own house and get her children ready for school. When there is no water in the municipal tap, she has to draw water from the near by well for the needs of those in her household. As with most men, her husband too falls in the ‘help-if/when-in-the-mood’ category and so is not someone she can depend upon. On most days, by the time she leaves her house for work, she is already drained out. In spite of good intentions she is unable to do justice to the work she does in the two houses in the colony. Though she ends up doing shoddy work, I haven’t the heart to chastise her much to the chagrin of the Lord and Master.
Her work may be careless most times, yet I admire Vasanthi for her fortitude and spirit which many a middle class woman, either in the avatar of home-maker or career woman, lacks. She has a no-nonsense approach to the financial responsibilities in her home. There is a clear cut ‘your’ money and ‘my’ money between her and her husband Murugan. She takes care of some of the expenditures and insists that her husband put in his share or spend on other things. I know many educated and earning women who don’t have a say over their own earnings! And ‘my money’ is thought to be a dirty word even if it is money given to the woman by her parents! Of course I am not discounting those career women who don’t contribute to the family kitty but think their earnings belong only to themselves.
True to type as most belonging to the lower strata of society, Vasanthi has a sack full of superstitions and beliefs at her disposal from which abundance she draws regularly, to enlighten me. Though I am a true blood Mallu, to Vasanthi I am, if at all, an ignorant Mallu, one who has to be educated about the essence of Mallu-hood. She was genuinely doubtful whether I was a Hindu because, in her own words, “….I have never seen you going to the temple!” Of course it is beyond her simple mind to understand that people can exist without going to temples. It is another matter that she spends only about an hour and a half in my house and is totally unaware of what I am doing the rest of the time. Still, she has it engraved in her heart that this Chechi with her hair cut short and in salwar-kurtas and skirts and tees and irreverent attitude to accepted norms cannot be all Mallu or know enough about Mallu traditions.
One day she asked me innocently, ‘Don’t you feel sad and cry when Sir goes off to work every week??’ all because the Lord and Master at the time was working in a different city and used to leave every Monday morning after spending the weekend at home. I rolled my eyes and told her if I had done the crying bit for every time the L & M left home, the Indian subcontinent would have been submerged under six feet of water long back what with the Indian Army sending its officers in every which direction and the families not getting accommodation promptly enough. I doubt though that she got the joke because she looked at me uncomprehendingly. What do I tell her about children and their education which is of prime importance to us, enough to make us stay in different cities?? When I apprised L & M about Vasanthi’s question to me, he burst out laughing and in his characteristic way teased me that my stock had hit rock bottom as far as Vasanthi was concerned, as I was not the ideal bhaarya (wife) who shed copious tears (or at least had a suitably sad face) each time her Lord and Master left house for more than twenty-four hours!
None of these things had the power to turn even a couple of my glossy black hair gray. What did that was something else altogether and it happened this way.
Vasanthi joined me for work on the 24th of July. On the 24th of August I asked her whether she wanted me to give her salary on that day or if she wanted to wait till 1st of September and take home the salary of the extra eight days added to it, so that I could pay her on the 1st of every month from then on. She said she would like to have it the same day. Fine, I told her, I would pay her every 24th as per her wish. I gave her the amount due and everything seemed fine. Come 1st of Sept, while leaving after her work I heard her call me,
“Chechiiii…”
I was at my usual place, which in case you didn’t know is in front of my laptop. I got up to see what she wanted as she usually leaves with a ‘Jnaan ponu Chechi’ (I am leaving).
“Chechi will you give me my salary??” she asked on seeing me.
I blinked in confusion. My mind was still back in my blog-world and hadn’t I given her the salary eight days back??
“Do you want a loan or something??” I asked preparing to go in and get the money as I was in a hurry to get back to my blogs.
“No Chechi, my salary…”
“Salary?? But you said every 24th! That’s why I gave it to you on 24th. Do you want me to give you the share of the last eight days??” I asked her.
“No Chechi, not eight days. Today is 1st of the month, isn’t it?? So I want my salary.”
Now I know there are a lot of people who think I am a duffer. Unfortunately I had not been one of them up till then. But at that point I was sorely tempted to join the Shail is a Duffer movement as I just couldn’t get it. I blinked again.
“But I gave you your salary eight days back!”
“Today is 1st of the month Chechi. Everyone gets their salary on 1st of the month…” she said in her enlightening way.
“I asked you whether you wanted the money on the 1st of every month. But you said every 24th would do fine. If you want I can give you the share of the eight days and make it 1st of every month from now on.” I said gathering my wits and deciding that the thought of joining the S is a D movement was too pessimistic an outlook. Of course I could sort this one out.
“Everyone gets salary on 1st of the month Chechi” she repeated like some bally parrot.
Having decided not to join the S is a D movement, I now took it upon myself with optimism, to impart some basic math to Vasanthi.
“Look here Vasanthi, how many days from 24th of last month to 24th of this month??
“Thirty” came the response.
“And I paid your salary for thirty days. Right, so far??”
She nodded her head in assent.
“How many days are there from 24th of last month to the 1st of this month??” I asked.
“Eight days” she replied.
“Then how can you ask me for salary of a whole month??!!!”
There! Who could beat such clear cut logic presented so well??
“But Chechi, hereabouts everyone gets their salary on 1st of the month” she said.
Aaaaaargh. I nearly flipped the lid. I had not failed to notice the ‘hereabouts.’ She was alluding in her oblique way that this alien-Mallu was ignorant of local customs, of salaries paid on 1st of every month. Aaaaaaaaargh and double, triple aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!. The S is a D movement seemed infinitely more appealing to me once again. And yet, I decided to give it one last try.
“Okay Vasanthi, listen to this. Suppose the Sir here joins a company on the 1st of a month, do they give him salary on that day itself, or after he has done a month’s work??”
“After a month’s work…”
Oh thank God, we seemed to be on the right track.
“Then why are you asking me salary for work you have not done?? You have only done 8 days work!”
There, try and get out of that one. Hehehehe…
“But everyone gets salary on 1st Chechi….” she said going right back to her parrot mode.
I wanted to scream and pull out my hair in frustration. With iron self control I saved myself from making myself bald. But in the process two of my glossy black hair had started off on the irreversible path of graying. There was nothing I could do. Sob sob. To prevent further damage, I told Vasanthi to get her husband and that I’d explain matters to Murugan. To be on the safe side and protect the rest of my hair, I paid Vasanthi the amount due for the eight days she had worked for me and started paying her on the 1st of every month from then on. I bet Vasanthi is happy and my crowning glory is safe for the time being. Phew!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Me: 😆
Hahaha!!Good One…was just checking with your senior son about your whereabouts:-)
Me: Thanks Nivedita! Glad you liked it. 🙂
heh heh hehheh..Absolutely loved this post Shail.
I too tell my children the same thing–that all my hair will turn grey because of them. 🙂
I really admire your spirit and completely endore it too! You’re such a free bird.
I wish I had a Vasanthi 🙂 Here in UK I am the vasanthi except that I dont ask for salary on 1st or 24th 🙂
Have a great weekend Shail
Cheers
preeti
Ps: Where in kerala do you live? i would be visiting Kerala in december.
Me: Thank you Preeti 🙂 Ah, Vasanthis are the luxuries you enjoy in India! I live in Trivandrum and do tell me when you are coming coz right now I am away from home.
Hehe… Good one.. 🙂
Vivek.
Me: Thank you Vivek 🙂
Everybody gets salary on 1st Chechi!…..I am repeating after Vasanthi……( atleast couple of more gray hairs I want to see!!!!!!!!) escape…………….
Me: Fat chance of seeing a couple more of gray hairs! I’d probably have a head full of them soon! 😛
I never knew that the reason was stress
that really turned black to gray the tress
when my wife’s graying and my still black hair I assess
Looks like you are really right I guess.
Nice post. Reminded me of Senthil Goundamani banana joke.
Me: Thank you. And where can I find this Senthil Goundamani joke, Govind??
Shail,
Very well written as usual.
Reminded me of the Senthil-Koundamani joke too.
But are you suggesting that you are not as old as you are? Ahem, ahem..
Talking about house maids, my wife takes more care of our maid than of me, becuase she says it is easier to find a new husband than a new maid!
Cheers,
Salil
PS : How do I join the ‘Shail is a Duffer’ movement? I am willing to travel to Trivandrum, if need be 😉
Me: OMG and whats the Senthil-Goundamani joke you and Govind are talking about?? Let me google it.
Ahem ahem.. of course I am as old as I am. Are you suggesting I should have naturally grayed by now?? 😛
Ahhh, I can very well understand your wife taking better care of her housemaid. She has a point.
Pssst…. I am the secret leader of the S is a D movement. You can put in your application to join the movement when you are in Trivandrum.
Long blog but funny. Did not go to sleep while reading it thank God. But I never sleep on your blogs. Keep writing. Wonder whom should I blame for my 100 percent gray mop? I know you would say it happened due to too much sun.
Me: What, you didn’t sleep?? *raises eyebrows (in surprise) for a change instead of knitting them* Ahhh.. am glad you found it funny. Ummmm…. 100% gray mop eh?? Your share of black hair must have been given to someone else by those who are in charge of these things whoever they are. 🙂
Laughing.. yes, this happens. I had ‘my mother’s Vasanthi’ tell me that “that was last month and today is the first of next month”(Ah! I didnt know that).
Me: Hahaha… Your mother’s Vasanthi is another one!! 😆
Enjoyed reading your post about ‘your gray hair and the reason for it’! Good narration as usual.
Karagaattakkaaran is the movie and the joke is vazhaippazha joke, which is very very famous – Goundamani and Senthil talk like you and Vasanthi did! Check it out…it is very very funny!
Congratulations for the blogadda award too, you deserve it, 100%!
Me: Thanks Sandhya. 🙂 I must check out this vazhaippazha joke for sure!
Thanks again for the congrats! You are such a dear!
What’s the fuss about? Everybody gets their salary on the first! 😐
(Alright alright…let me not contribute to any more silver on that devious head of yours!! 🙂 Thanks for the laughs 🙂 )
g
Me: Lol. Yeah everyone gets their salary on the first! 😉 I learnt that valuable lesson from Vasanthi!
Nice one:)..happens with me all the time because I dont know the local language.
Me: Thanks Renu. Of course Vasanthi and I were conversing in the same language. 🙂
Hahhahaha
Shail, I am so sorry for laughing but I can so see Vasanthi in the helps at my mom and MIL’s homes.
Our cook at MIL’s house, makes it a point to remind me that I need to oil my hair to get rich, black hair. The colored short hair is not very Malayali. Even though when I am there, I make the menu, I always find a new veggie stuff of her choice at the dining table which according to her will help me get those long lustrous tresses Malayali girls have. So sweet but hilarious at the same time.
Me: I can well imagine what you have described. My extended family thinks the red shade to my hair from the henna (when I had long black tresses) gave it an undesired chembicha look while I myself was damn pleased with the effect! 😉 😛
Congratulations on the Blogadda pick, Shail. If I had a choice then your posts would be a permanent fix at the adda.
Me: Thanks Solilo. Those are indeed words of appreciation. I am humbled.
This was really entertaining! LOL
Me: Thank you Ritu 🙂
Oh! U live in trivandrum?! I would be in Eruveli (Near Chotttanikara) from December 16th to 18th and then again from December 27th to Jan 2nd. Would be in Bangalore too..(and a few more places–so many friends to meet) By any chance if you are in Bangalore we’re planning a bloggers meet.
Me: I remember reading in some old post of yours about your visit to Eruveli. When is this bloggers meet?? Any more details you can provide??
Laughing out loud,Shail!! I know that must have been the last thing in your mind to do when listening to the very consistent“Everyone gets salary on 1st of the month Chechi” 😀
Hilarious post !!
Me: Thanks Deeps. Good to know I made you laugh. 😀
The irrefutable Mallu logic :D. And since both my little simians are just in the process of evolving grey hairs pop up faster than the speed of light. My “vasanthi” is a sensible, placid sort though! She has figured out that self and hubby are different and weird, but she accepts that it takes all sorts to make the world a merry place. As for Lord Emsworth, he would crinkle his nose in distaste if his Princess were offered board in my little one’s rooms, for sure.
Me: *nods head @gray hairs pop up faster than the speed of light* The Pig-lover Peer is certainly going to turn up his nose if offered simians’ room and reject it as unfit for his Empress.
ROFL! First time here and I have got glued already!
Even I have my “vasanthi” who belongs to another class altogether. She dons the role of my MIL whenever MIL is not in the room.
So, there! Now you know why I use L’Oreal 😦
Me: Welcome to my blog-space Whatsinaname. Glad to have you laughing.
Oh my, a ‘vasanthi’ in a MIL avatar definitely necessitates use of L’ Oreal! 😉
ROFL !!!! 😆 wonderful wonderful.. !!
btw i coloured my hair for the first time a month back.. and I loved looking at myself after that… I have so many gray strands sigh ! 😦
Me: So is it time for an update of your display pic?? Glad to have you laughing 😀
LOL I also loved all the other hidden gems in this post 🙂
Contributors to the cause came in the form of well-meaning (my foot!) people (also called relatives) who hover around and take inordinate pride in their well meant (my foot!) LOL … I lovd all those well meaning my foots 🙂 😆
And not to mention the all powerful entity called ‘society’ 🙂
“Of course I am not discounting those career women who don’t contribute to the family kitty but think their earnings belong only to themselves.” I feel any such women could be saving this money for future or maybe they feel insecure about the marriage.
Me: Thanks IHM 🙂 Hmm… when work is shared at home, why shouldn’t women contribute to the family kitty and take the responsibility of meeting some of the expenses (like Vasanthi does)??
Loved the post.:) I have had a similar experience with my own Vasanthi! Wonder who needs being educated, them or us?
thanks for visiting my blog. come again! Love your style. Will visit again.