Once upon a time….

Umm… not really, since this happened in recent times I cannot begin this ant story with ‘once upon a time’. Also in case you were wondering, there are two ants in my story, making their appearance on stage that is, because obviously there are always too many ants lurking unseen in the background, ready to step up and take over the world or at least some tasty titbit dropped on the floor if you know what I mean.

Anyway let me start my story afresh.

In quite recent times, last week to be precise, there was one ant walking along briskly in a North to South direction along the hall floor, towards Bedroom No.3. Let’s call the ant, Ant One. There was another ant, let’s call it Ant Two, walking equally briskly along the white tiled floor of the same hall, but from South to North, presumably to Bedroom No.2.

Though the hall is extremely wide and long in ant-terms, as luck would have it, they ran into each other somewhere in the middle.

“Hey!” Ant Two cried out delighted to chance upon a friend. “Where are you off to?”

“The same old place, the Colonel’s study. He is sure to have dropped something or other!” Ant One chuckled thinking of how the Colonel disregarded instructions from his wife (who called him the L&M) and ate snacks in Bedroom No.3 which he used as his study.

“Oh no!” Ant Two exclaimed. “You are wasting your time.”

“What?” Ant One cried in alarm. “Has the Colonel mended his ways and stopped dropping bits from what he snacks on?” This was shocking news. Where would they get free food now?

“Oh not to worry!” Ant Two pacified the by now agitated Ant One. “He is still his same old generous self and contributes immensely in keeping our bellies, and those of our Queen and brothers and sisters too, filled. Unlike that parsimonious cleanliness freak who goes by the name of Shail!” Ant Two’s mood had turned dark and he found himself gnashing his teeth. He quickly stopped to take a few deep breaths, putting into use his ant-yoga lessons.

“Then why did you have to scare me so?!” Ant One stared in annoyance at his friend.

“Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Ant Two had by now regained his good mood (“These breathing thing actually worked!”) Laughing heartily, he continued, “You see, the Colonel aka the L&M has moved rooms. You now need to go to Bedroom No.2 for the goodies.”

“Oh wow! When did this change happen?” Ant One said in wonder. He would surely have wasted his time, and also been told off by their lazy Queen for slacking (the irony!), if he had made that useless journey to Bedroom No. 3. He thanked his lucky stars that he had met Ant Two right in time.

“Come then!” Ant Two said, leading the way. “Let’s go!”

Psst. The L&M meanwhile is a much embarrassed man after I related this made up story to him. Good! I hope this means there is less for the wily and opportunistic ants and that they will finally move out of my home. But my hopes are rather dim, especially since the time when watching a dozen ants valiantly making their way across the hall floor to I know not where, with a tiny bit of cookie precariously balanced on their heads, the L&M indulgently said, “Aww poor things. They are working so hard. I don’t feel like depriving them!”

Shail Mohan 2023