This happened. Yes, I admit I said what I did. I am not sure how posterity will judge me for it, but whatever the verdict shall be, it behooves me to jot down the facts faithfully. So here goes.
Me: (In lecture mode, lectures, though come to think of it, what else can one do other than lecture when in lecture mode? Like really!) Blah blah blah blah blah, more blahs and some more of them blahs.
L&M: (Walks into the room and looks around bewildered, though why he should be, bewildered I mean, beats me, considering he’s been living with me for three decades and more. Oh sorry, that was me infamously digressing!) To whom are you talking?
Me: (notices the L&M’s presence) Eh? Oh ah. I was talking to the hibiscus bush.
L&M: (Laughs uproariously) Hibiscus bush! You said all that to the hibiscus bush?!
Me: Yeah. Someone has to call a spade a spade. (Seems to be my favorite line of late). And this is all YOUR fault anyway. Why did I gift you secateurs? Have you even used them?
L&M: (Mysteriously disappears from room)
The text of the lecture – the translation of the blahs mentioned above – is given below in unabridged form.
Whoa! What exactly are you up to? Just where do you think you are going? Growing is all fine, but remember you are a hibiscus bush. A bush! What do you mean growing so tall? Are you trying to copy the coconut trees? Or ape the African tulip next door? They are t.r.e.e.s, and are stronger, quite capable of weathering storms, so to speak. Can you, though? You are frail. A strong wind, or even a medium one, and what will the outcome be? Remember what happened to the overambitious lantana and also that other bush whose name I do not know? Even the banana tree had a mighty fall last year. Surely you remember all that?
Know, and accept your limitations. Besides haven’t you got your own unique personality? Look at your glossy green leaves and the ruby red flowers! I bet the coconut tree would like some of those red flowers. So what if birds don’t make nests in your frail branches? You have butterflies visiting you. Do you see them hovering on coconut trees the same way? Work on developing your strong points rather than getting carried away emulating others. It will only end in you lying flat on your back (or on your nose) one day, all tangled up with poor Miss Ixora nearby.
[I would have gone on for a good ten more minutes if given the chance, touching upon the fact that she needed to grow wider rather than higher because, you see, taller doesn’t always equate to greatness, the short and shorter or even the shortest also have in them the same capability to be great, greater and/or greatest. But it was at this point that the L&M entered the picture and broke the flow.]
© Shail Mohan 2020
Mister Bump UK said:
My mum used to talk to (shout at) the wall. We were a strange family…
Hmm.. I have not done that so far, ..except may be to ask it to stop spinning that time I had vertigo.
Limp Cabbage and Soggy Chips said:
I tried talking to my yard beings too, but they wilted. My husband extracted a promise from me, never to interfere with other life forms anymore, and lo, they are thriving. True story.
Have I told you about the rangoon creeper I spoke to for ten (TEN) years, and wouldn’t grow, wouldn’t die either, just drove me nuts. We moved out of that house two years ago, and six months later, when I passed by that house, that creeper was all over the place, and in full bloom.
Omg. They really had something against you 😉 Just kidding.
Limp Cabbage and Soggy Chips said:
Oh you don’t have to kid. The plant kingdom has something against me alright, If I were the kind that believed in rebirth, I’d think I probably went about with an axe, chopping down entire forests in my previous birth.
Ah, the said secateurs could go a long way towards thwarting the high growing aspirations of that hibiscus!
Definitely. But the husband seems loathe to cut anything to size 😀
A beautiful post, it made me smile. Thank you. 🙂
Always welcome, and thank you 🙂
Wayward plants that forget their basis for existence are annoying! We have mescaline vines that have grown up to and over are 6′ fence and combined with the mulberry trees that should be bushes! Beautiful post!
Thank you 🙂
It is a beautiful tree nevertheless 😃
Yes, isn’t it? 🙂
Sangeetha Ramachandran said:
I loved reading this. One of my favourite hobby is tending to plants. So this made me happy.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thanks. 🙂
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