One day we were seeing off a young couple who had paid us a visit along with their small child. I watched the child get into the front passenger seat of the car next to the dad who was driving, while the mom took the backseat. The young man smiled indulgently at his son and turning to us said by way of an explanation,
“He says he is a big boy now that he is four!”
How interesting. The boy thought being older meant he had the right to the front seat (among other things), over and above that of his mother. Now, why would he think that?
The common practice hereabouts is that the men always sit upfront while women seat themselves in the rear seat of the vehicle, not because they want to, but because, (*sarcasm alert*) well, men are superior and need to be respected. What better way to get it than by sitting in front and letting women take the ‘back’ seat? Behind me, you inferior beings.
Obviously the boy had noticed. Being a male child he felt his rightful time had come, and as a woman his mother had to make way for him.
It is not just this little boy. I have seen any number of young boys doing the same thing. What’s more, parents indulge them. I have not seen any father or mother object. The fathers accept the right of the sons to sit next to them over that of the wife as a fact. The mothers who have already internalized their secondary position to the husband (and the whole family as such) sees nothing amiss in this arrangement.
What’s noteworthy (and I am not talking about the exceptions here only the rule) is that, if a family has both a daughter and son, the children don’t take turns. The daughter’s claim is summarily dismissed by BOTH parents and the son gets his way while she has to meekly follow her mother to the backseat. Get behind me, you inferior beings.
It starts quite early, and in many different ways, these lessons in entitlement.
©Shail Mohan 2018
And with that we come to the end of #FebruaryRamblings. Thank you, for reading. 🙂
Shail's Nest 
Sad. This was somewhat the case in my grandmothers’ era, but children of either gender never sat in the front. My own mother always had the front seat, and if my father wasn’t along for the ride all five of us kids fought it out to ride shotgun. My oldest sister won almost all the time because she was bossier and would probably beat me up later if I didn’t let her win. If my father was driving we all preferred to ride as far back in the station wagon as possible so he couldn’t reach us if he didn’t like how we were behaving.
When the mother abdicates her position by the father’s side (and when the father lets it to be so) it sends the wrong signals to the sons. No wonder they as a rule take mothers for granted hereabouts.
Lol @ preferring to ride far back 🙂
I wonder if these parents ever consider that front passenger airbags are not designed with children in mind. A real tragedy in the making should there be an accident that requires the airbag to be unleashed for it would probably smother the child!
Anne, we don’t even have the seat belt rule for the shotgun rider in place as yet 😦 Only the one driving is required to wear it as such. Safety of children does not seem to be something given enough thought.
Children shouldn’t sit in front for safety reasons too. And isn’t the ‘superior being’ supposed to sit at the back? Like drivers and ‘muyalaalees’?
I am forever thankful to God that we’re just 3 sisters. Once I was stupid enough to voice this in front of my parents. My mother was kind of hurt and outraged – ‘you think we’d have discriminated?’
I didn’t have the heart (or the courage) to say yes. Knowingly or unknowingly, but yes, they would have.
Knowingly or unknowingly. Yes, that’s true. I have realized I have to constantly be on alert and unlearn what’s been unknowingly learnt. For example, how easily it comes to ask my niece to get me a glass of water and not my nephew.
And yes, wonder why the ‘muyalaalees’ aren’t at the back when it comes to traveling in a car! eyeroll
A thought provoking post. I think it is more indulgence than discrimination when it comes to children. We as a society have caved in to and cradled our children until they grow up entitled. First, it’s the front seat, and on it goes. It’s time parents stepped up and taught children they don’t get everything they want beginning with the front seat. @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
Indulgence, definitely, but reserved for male children. 🙂 Yeah, parents need to be firm, I totally agree.
Hey Shail,
I think it’s because that patriarch mindset still exists even now in 2018 :(. It’s like if you are a girl, your life doesn’t matter. I remember a few times my own mom told me that because I’m a girl, my dad’s/husband’s relatives matter more than anything and that they have the right to treat you any way you want, even if it’s abusive. Thank god I grew up abroad and know better to not listen to this nonsense.
Yes, it is good that you grew away from this sort of nonsense and have a different outlook 🙂