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Once years back, the house-help took out her anger against the ‘Madam’ in the neighboring house she worked in by banging pots and pans in my house. She also answered me rudely for no reason. I was firm with her: You don’t get to throw temper tantrums in my house because someone else has annoyed you. If you are angry with someone, show your anger to THEM. As long as I am civil to you, you’ll be civil to me. Is that understood?
I refuse to be anyone’s punching bag. Not family, not friends (the online variety too) If anyone wants to let off steam about what infuriated them, I am willing to be a listener. They are welcome to share with me, talk to me, rant and rave against whatever, whoever is annoying them. Let’s be angry together. But, biting my head off so you can feel good, is not an option at all. And no I refuse to buy excuses of ‘I was angry at the time’. Have I infuriated you with my actions? Then I accept your anger against me. By no means am I going to be ‘used’ as stand in for someone else. That’s my strict policy.
This brings to mind another thing, how people sometimes describe short-tempered people as ‘golden-hearted’. It is true they have a temper, people say, but they are good at heart. Like, really? If they really had a good heart why would they shout at innocent people? So, no siree. Don’t try to sell ME that stupid story.
I’ll tell you my version of it. People who are short-tempered are selfish to the core because they care only about their own feelings (oh I am so angry that I need to chew someone’s head, NOW!) and nothing about who they hurt. If afterwards they are extra nice to everyone does that make them ‘goodhearted? Balderdash. Don’t make me laugh. Actually this view expressed by any in my presence makes me seethe. It is true no one has been injured so far as a result, but nothing can be said for sure about the future.
By the way, ‘angry’ is not a word I’d ordinarily choose to describe myself. I rarely get angry and even when I do, there is no real danger, no reason for anyone to run for cover for my anger is strictly confined to and directed at only the source of my annoyance. And today the source of annoyance is myself. I have not been writing much. I do have genuine reasons, but excuses have been piling up in my head too. So wisely (or foolishly) I have decided to take up the daily prompt. Today’s word happens to be ‘angry‘. I do hope I can keep up for the month. Here’s wishing myself some much needed luck and hoping I can do it!
©Shail Mohan 2016
Yeah, the rude and always angry are described as ‘speaking their mind’ and ‘keeping no residual feelings’ or ‘not resorting to behind the back talk’. That makes them golden-hearted. And us, who care about what effects our words will have on others, and thus avoid confrontation till we can, are labelled as hypocrites who don’t say they are angry. Balderdash alright.
Agree!
Just yesterday i was a-thinking
That, the daily blog, you aren’t inking
And, lo and behold
About anger you’ve told
And, against the ‘golden-hearted’ you’re striking!
I thin you were itching to write more limericks and now I have presented you with the opportunity 😉 😀
That goes without saying
I love my own baying
But trumpets aside
We’re pleased when plied
With all the different posts into which you’re straying!
I agree with everything you said… Enough with being one’s punching-bag , ever!
Adore the photo with the very angry bird , fantastic take!
Thank you. What angers me most is how the short-tempered think ‘punching’ is their birthright.
I thought you were going to write about the bird:) People say that ‘people who bark, don’t bite’. But it hurts the person who faces the bark. I have faced a lot of ‘barking’. Only now, I have started giving back, well, for once, boldly!
Myna has an angry look, just right for the post 🙂 Yes, I too have heard the ‘people who bark don’t bite’ saying. But barking is also bad for the one being barked at. 🙂
Good for you that you are getting bolder 🙂
Exactly my point. Being rude or insulting doesn’t justify in how kind-hearted they are to you! I am like, go and give this brainless explanation to someone else.
Glad you think so too. 🙂
I am so glad you’ve taken up the daily prompt challenge – your writing is so good and I love reading your posts.
Thank you so much. You are too kind 🙂
I agree.
Being rude, condescending and lashing out doesn’t mean it’s a good trait and that those people are “saints”. Who in god’s name created this belief? LOL. Instead this will distant relationships and cause people to not open up to you.
Btw, I thought this was a poem or something and was planning to suggest you call this “Angry Birds” by the photo of the bird lol.
Haha. The myna has a really angry look, no?
I think mothers/ nicer uncles/ grannies/ started propagating this ‘angry-tough-guy-with-a-golden-heart’ to save faces of dictator-type previous gen patriarchs. Because of the way they treat people, shouting, ordering about etc, kids tend to fear/ hate them. And since kids dont know how to mince words they may throw careless but honest comments like “Granddad is horrible” or something like that. And rude saints were born.