I have realized that being someone who holds *opinions* means that those around you tend to believe you were born that way. Imagine a miniature middle-aged woman, gray haired (I am leaving out the wrinkles because babies do have them), and with spectacles for long-sight sitting firmly on her nose emerging out of her mother’s womb, and as soon as she is out, holding forth on gender equality and feminism to those present. it is amusing, really, but I guess that’s how some people see me.
One day I was talking to a young friend and he told me about a common friend (also young) of ours who was facing some problems in her personal life. Though I wasn’t in her shoes and only because I had something to say on the topic in general, I ventured to express my opinion.
Real life differs from movies and books in one important aspect. The one-solution-fits-all approach of our movies and romance books is misleading and lands a lot of youngsters in trouble. In real life we need a unique approach to solving problems that are specific to each of us. What works for one will not work for another (which is why posts like ‘Ten Points For Reclaiming Your Love Life’ and such gobbledygook found abundantly in magazines on and offline has me rolling my eyes in exasperation).
You see, we are not assembly line products and our personalities differ GREATLY. Out of the *ten points* listed of anything, just a couple may apply to us. Crying over the missing eight will only give rise to disappointments. The goal is to find eight more that we do have (and which the magazines have no clue about) or chuck the two you have in hand but don’t care much for, and go forth fearlessly in search of the eight that matter to you.
Anyway, when he heard my philosophy, the friend exclaimed
“But you are different!”
“Why do you say that?”
“Look how you know all about these things! You were more mature, and so knew what to do, unlike her.”
Hello! But don’t you see, that is in the NOW, this knowledge. I too started off as a helpless newborn like everyone else. I too learnt things along the way falling down (sometimes pushed down), getting up, dusting myself and moving on. I was young and insecure too, made wrong decisions, learnt along the way. I know I didn’t make some of the *mistakes* (it’s subjective) she made because I have always been introspective by nature.
I know he meant what he said as a compliment. Still, just wanted to say, I was not born in my fifties you know 😉
©Shail Mohan 2015
Shail's Nest 
Agree with you there. We form opinions based on the experiences we have gathered over time. No two people are exactly the same.
Thank you 🙂
Wisdom comes at a price
Cannot be got in a trice
The experience of years
In time, travel and tears
Drumroll the direction of the dice!
How well put, Gul! 🙂
Agree with you Shail,
We always form opinions and perspectives based on the experiences we have had, however I feel some of the unpleasant experiences does tend to make you think deeper and beyond from what you know. Failing, making mistakes, learning from wrong choices is a life lesson and helps bring wisdom. We’re all human, so we can’t be perfect. This was the case for me.
Yes, sometimes we can go beyond our own experience and understand much more.