My first digital camera, a point and shoot one, was gifted to me by the First Born, but inevitably it mostly used to be with the Second Born in the initial days. He had just joined for his animation classes and felt his need was greater than mine and I had given it up for his use with a sigh. Trivia: Those days I used to ask him to click pictures for me (and my blog). He had to leave home for college for me to come into my own as far as photography was concerned. Anyways…
One day I saw said PS camera on the Second Born’s bed half buried beneath books, paper, discarded clothes, CDs, and a zillion other things teenagers everywhere seem to think simply have to be dumped on the bed. Correction, some adults are no better. When it is time for sleep, they shove it all off the bed. On seeing the camera, I was naturally alarmed fearing he might accidentally sit on it or worse still, push all the junk aside and have it fall down and break. So I told him that he had to keep the camera on his table or some such safe place. Nothing was going to happen to the camera, he replied brusquely. In his opinion I was merely overreacting. That’s when I told him this, “When you buy a camera of your own, you are welcome to leave it anywhere you want, but as long as you want to use mine you WILL keep it safe as per my wishes. Or else I am simply going to take it away.”
I have insisted that the children acknowledge and respect the fact that some things belonged to me. It is something I find sadly missing in many homes. Whatever belongs to the mother is considered common property. The mothers rarely assert themselves, instead let children walk all over them. After all, when you stake claim to devi-hood you have to play the part, be generous and sacrificing, and cannot actually go around marking territory and insisting things belong to you. Not being devi material I have never had any such qualms. When I look around, I see children walking into rooms without knocking, dipping into the handbags of the mothers, pulling out cell phones, (even picking up their calls and reading messages without being told!) and I break out into rashes. How will these children learn to respect space of anyone at all, leave aside a woman and/or a future spouse? But, I am digressing. I did not start this story to talk about all this.
Getting back, I prefer to be early rather than late at airports (or railway/bus stations) and go through all the formalities of checking in, in a unhurried manner. Hurry confounds me and I am liable to make mistakes, forget something important, may be leave my passport somewhere and walk away unaware. One wants to avoid such calamities from happening, so ‘early and relaxed’ goes my motto.
There are those who get to the airport at the last minute and then rush through everything and are able to make a success of it. More power to them, I say. But when they insist that I follow their suit, my response has always been the same as in the incident quoted above of the camera, “When you are the one traveling, reach the airport whenever you wish, even if it be after the flight has left. I don’t have any issues with it at all. But when I am the one doing the travelling, let me do it my way.” You’d think it is a simple enough thing for even the dumbest of dumb to grasp? But no, they have to argue and impose their style on me.
I really don’t understand why it bothers anyone that I will have time on my hands and have a long *boring* wait ahead. Since when have I appointed anyone as Managers of Boring Times, mine? My time, to do as I please, isn’t it? I am not asking them to follow my example, so why should I follow theirs? Sometimes I have wanted to scream at people (so called friends) who are supposed to drop me at a certain time. Their delaying tactics (not to mention the laughing they do in my face) has been nothing short of being insensitive and selfish. But… what if you have such people among those you are traveling with? Then it gives rise to lot of friction and stress.
That is why I was happy when I found Sandhya and her family voicing the same opinion as mine, that we must leave early enough for the airport on the day we were to leave for Sri Lanka. (Read all about what happened the day before, here). Moreover the PM was expected in Chennai the same day which meant traffic controls and unpredictable blocks later on in the morning. It pleased me greatly that we made an early start and reached the airport practically before anyone else taking the same flight had. Excited as we were (for Sandhya and me this was our first holiday outside the country without family), this gave us enough time to calm our nerves and manage to sit still.
It was a good thing that we reached early because when the third person of our group Meena reached, we found that the fourth, her daughter, had missed her flight. Fortunately we had enough time (See, how extra time came in handy?) to make a flurry of phone calls and make alternative arrangements for her to join us late night at Kandy. Having done that we all heaved a sigh of relief, had a leisurely breakfast of iddlies and waited patiently for our flight to be announced.
Will be continued….
In the meantime, here is another post on my relationship with time: About being on time
©Shail Mohan 2015
Good for you on both these things. I am the same as well. Sure my kids can borrow my stuff, but they need to ask for it and acknowledge the receipt with a thanks, and take good care of it. They are now good with the first two, the last one is still a WIP, but I have hope 🙂
Glad to have company! 😀
My decisions usually are made on the spur of the moment and then its a mad mad rush to get there on time.
Well, I can do that at times, not always 🙂
same here…early is better.. 🙂 and watching the people on airport is always amusing 🙂
Yes, I love watching people too 🙂
I am too like you .. so for most of the meeting, i am the one to get the keys and open the meeting hall. people mock at me, sometimes says they dont have to see the watch, as they know the time by looking at me. I take it as compliment. 😉
I am glad you take it as a compliment! 🙂
Hmmm…Only now, I have started ‘asserting’ myself with members of my family! Otherwise I was taken for granted!
As you said, we always like to go to the airport or railway station pretty early and relax…watching people is the main entertainment for me!
Starting of our tour itself was like a thriller, Shail! Enjoyed every minute!
Watching people is an interesting hobby 🙂 Yes, we had a terrific start to our tour 😀
I think I am mix of both.. some of my decisions are taken on the fly hence the rush rush .. but mostly I make sure I am before time ..
and at airports I make sure to be before time, I like to be in the first few to check in .. because the people on the desk are fresh and you get to choose where you sit.. and if by chance you have excess luggage no one bats an eyelid.
and Since i work at airport now I see all the chaos.. when final calls are being mad and people are running like headless chickens 🙂
Oh, we are the same on this one!. I too like to be among the first to check in! I really hate the headless chicken style running around! 🙂
I find a lot of me and a lot of my Mom in this post, it’s so endearing. I like it how you assert about your stuff to your kids, my Mom does it so cheekily, the mornings I feel like using her talc, she’d hide it and make me ask for it “Mittu, aren’t you feeling like using Lavender today? ‘My’ lavender?” But at the same time, she’s also this Gollum who keeps lifting stuff from my cupboard, I can always find them in hers and she’d discount it by simply saying “Oh, I thought you weren’t using it.”
I’m also a stickler for time, I hate it when people encroach on my time rules as if everyone HAVE to be lenient about tardiness, like it should be taken for granted and all. People can be inconsiderate, in that quarter, like million others!
Lol, that’s cute. With two boys I haven’t had much opportunity to lift things off from them 😛 🙂
About time, I concur, absolutely, to what you say!
Possessions and punctuality
Shail’s realty and reality
Respect for both
Discipline sowed
And Life improves it’s quality!
Manifold! 🙂
You have captured my sentiments on being on time to a T! I never understand the languid attitude that people have towards being early or doing things a certain way. The camera issue would have had me hyperventilating 😀 As of now, my daughter gets access to my property only upon request and under my supervision. Just hoping that I can keep that going 😉
Here’s wishing you all the best on that front. 😀 But really, it is a lot better for everyone all around if there are clear boundaries 🙂
Oh my God !! More similarities on the way Shail…hugs 🙂
Yesss….I hoard my possessions behind shut cupboards…he he…to lend one sari to the girls I think so much 😛 But, there are things that are mine and I don’t like anyone messing with it – esp my camera 😀 And totally nodding my head and laughing on how I screamed at the younger one who tried to read my messages in the phone…
The friendships I make are mine and are for my personal happiness. I might share tidbits with others but not the whole conversation !
And another yes, for going to railway station or airport quite early. The husband reaches the place just a minute before departure. After years, he’s sort of changed to my ways 😀 😀
Phew. Glad he has changed to your ways. Just think of the tension otherwise!
Well the earlier, the better and 100% worry free 😀
Believe me, doing things the very last minute does not always work, it really depends on luck IMO lol. Learned that the hard way since my mom’s side of the family has the gene for ‘procrastination’ :p.
You said it. 🙂
Time and property, they be priority. And a bit of Respect, to the Devi Ma 😀
I have serious time management issues when doing stuff, almost always last minute, but departures, and travel… unless confounded by traffic, it’s always been easy!
Hmm.. some things like blogs, I write at the last minute and then wonder just why I could not have done the same earlier! 😛 ;D
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Hahaha..in otherwise most of the situations, I’m a perfect candidate for last-minute-panic. But when it comes to getting to the airport, I am like you..I prefer reaching early and enjoying the luxury of time 😀
Thank goodness you all had enough time to make alternate arrangements for your friend’s daughter to join you! What a mayhem it could have caused otherwise!