The other day I heard an impassioned speech of sorts from a mother of two teen-aged daughters. She was reminiscing about her own childhood, the neighborhood she lived in, the neighbors, friends, the games they played, what filled her with joy, awe etc etc. What days those were. So many memories to go back and relive in one’s mind, she said. But, she added rather glumly, ‘what memories will these children of mine possibly have when they are my age?!’
The complaint she was voicing is the same that I hear from parents all around me, about children glued to television, their game consoles, Facebook, but most of all WhatsApp. They forever have their head bent over their cell phones, texting. What memories can they possibly have? I can almost see a lot of you shaking your head in agreement, that is if you are not one of those young persons who does all of the above a lot.
Predictably, I disagree with the woman. Of course the children will have memories, of whatever they do, be it watching TV, playing video games and yes, texting too. Just because these are not your preferred memories does not mean they will not be cherished memories for others. The problem is many people cannot imagine being in their children’s shoes, so cannot understand what possibly can be worthy of a memory in their life.
I told her, ‘They, will have their OWN memories!‘ (left unsaid, ‘distinct from hers’). I mean, look at it this way, are our memories of the same stuff as our mother’s memories are made of? No. Are they any less important because of that? No. Then why expect or want our children to have similar ones to ours? Duh.
Anyways, memories cannot be tailor-made by parents for children, nor planned for them by insisting they do the same things that the parents did. Even if by some magic we were to give children the exact life we led, their memories would still be different. What we carry into the future as memories depends on us as individuals. You only have to ask siblings about their home to know how different memories can be of the same events and similar upbringing.
“But, what memories can those who don’t communicate have?” she asked me. Well, isn’t whatsapping a form of communication? I bet there was a generation that decried talking on the phone as, ‘what sort of communication is this?’ and one even before that which said letter writing was a poor sort of communication between humans.
Texting may not be the way WE communicated during our times, BEFORE cell phones, WhatsApp or Facebook came on the scene, but how is it any less of a way of communication? Couldn’t memories of children constitute the WhatsApp conversations they have had with their friends? How can you dismiss it as ‘a memory of no consequence’ just because that hadn’t been the way you did it? By the way how do you even know what the future holds, whether people want to have memories even? Or if they can choose memories from a menu, like ice-creams or pizza? Anything could happen, you know.
That brings me to this. I have come to evaluate people on the basis of statements they make about the future from their limited knowledge of it, a knowledge they are not even prepared to expand, almost as if they know where we (humans) are headed, what tomorrow holds for us. In spite of having seen a lot of changes in the short span of our own generation people have the audacity to make sweeping statements about a future they know practically nothing about.
Anyone who laments shows a severe lack of ability to stand back and see the bigger picture because, lets face it, every goddamn generation has said the very same thing about the next. How about showing some individuality and singing a new song?
©Shail Mohan 2015
I know. They have their own memories. They’ll cherish them too. And so they should. 🙂 I agree with you.
Perhaps we cherish ours so much, that theirs seems less special somehow, and we want more for them.
If we simply wanted more for them we’d give them the experience without crowing about it or pulling their generation down. 🙂
Wow.. That was eye-opening. I was under the same mind set of the lady that voiced her opinion. Very well written !!!
Thank you, Mersha 🙂
Memories will be made
Regardless of decade
Who’re we to judge
Or, for that matter, grudge
They don’t have to be retrograde!
indeed, Gulshan 🙂
This post is so you…
Very true – that that person…that that memories !!
As you rightly said, ask the siblings if they have the same memories of home – each one has different perception of the whole episode and hence the memories too change..
Thanks, Uma. 🙂
I used to think like that lady until a few years ago. But now I realised they will have their own memories of wherever they are living and what ever they are doing. The cycle never stops. It was Orkut, Face book..now Whatsap…something else will replace in the coming years 🙂
True. Nothing is forever 🙂
Well said
Thanks, Jo. 🙂
I wish there were more parents like you….
Aww.. That’s quite a compliment. Thank you! 🙂
I mean it 🙂
And I am honored. Thank you! 🙂
🙂
Well since I’m from a younger generation, I know for sure that the memories in each generation is different from the previous. There’s NO way that parents can replicate their childhood lives onto their kids. Lifestyle changes, new ideas..etc, etc. How is it possible since we all have different life experiences? 🙂
True. Even the older generation knew all this when they were younger, but they conveniently forget everything when they are older. Take care not to forget when you grow old yourself! 😉
I remember my parents and grandparents saying the same thing to me when I was a kid and it was annoying! Every generation thinks that they had the best time whereas the next generation thinks, “how boring!!” 😀
Bingo. How people miss seeing the predictable roles they are playing is beyond me.