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– a 55 word story
The man was standing at the corner.
Before she could blink he had exposed himself.
Shocked she hurried home and related with revulsion what had happened.
SLAP! SLAP!
Confused and in pain she looked at her mother.
“Why did you look at him, you dirty girl!”
She learnt: Don’t talk about your experiences to elders.
*****
To the grown ups: Your anger and frustration at the world and life is understandable. But remember not to take it out on your children. The evils of the world your children may chance upon were not put there by them, but by your own generation and the generations that came before. Don’t hold the children responsible for it. I have seen, still see, parents shouting at children because they themselves are scared, confused or angry about situations over which they don’t have control. The best thing, if shout you must, is to go look in the mirror and shout at your own self. Why alienate children for no fault of theirs?
Shail's Nest 
Very insightful and pertinent … we have all experienced variations of this, and try as we may, we end up transferring the same to our children
@Phoenixritu,
I hate to see children used as punching bags for the frustrations the parents feel.
actually that was “try as we may to avoid doing it”
55 words to convey a powerful message. Loved it.
@Indian Homemaker,
Thank you 🙂
As children we had faced this type of behaviour by our parents and we are able to understand it now, but have we changed our behaviour towards our children? We can just ask them to avoid and ignore these situations in right words.
Very powerful 55er, Shail!
@Sandhya,
Well, I can only speak for myself. I found it quite unfair and foolish behavior on the part of elders this sort of ‘blaming the children for no fault of theirs’ and so I was determined not to carry it forward when my turn for parenting came up. It is better (and should be the thing to be done) to explain the situation to children, instead of shouting at them for something some pervert did.
Thank you, Sandhya.
very true Shail , about the reaction and the observation of Parent’s behaviour . What Ritu said is also true .
@Krishnaleela,
If we recognize our own confusion and fear as an adult, we will stop shouting at children for things beyond their control. The screaming and shouting can be kept as last resort instruments for more productive purposes, when they disobey our just demands for example. Don’t you think so??
But sadly most parents I have found shout when they are scared and confused. What signal does that send to the child??!
Powerful words, and true to the core. Sensible, if only parents understand.
@Sid,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. If only… But what surprises me more is how the children think it is okay that the parents do this to them. They excuse such behavior of parents with a thousand reasons ‘It is for our own good’ and ‘They are after all our parents’ and such even when they grow up to be adults and should know better. I guess, that ‘excusing’ is actually a luxury indulged in by grown up kids for it gives them justification to continue the same behavior with their own kids.
This is wrong
@Hrishikesh,
You ask children who have had such experiences and 99.99% will tell you, there was nothing wrong with it. “Parents do everything for our own good ONLY” they will tell you, as if parents are not humans but infallible Gods. I would agree if they said, “yeah my parents were wrong, but its okay, they are humans..” But sadly that is not the case. My parents were right. I was in the wrong somehow, is the attitude of even grown up children too. Most people love to lead a conveniently brainwashed life, especially when it comes to parents and that gives them the a good excuse to continue the same behavior with their own children.
Dear Shailji, your writing is very good.It focuses on all the ignored injustices in our world.Continue writing, do the good work let people open their eyes and see.The injustices in this world causes one to reflect on the meaning of life and the existence and purpose of God.The injustices of this world are innumerable, and happening so frequently that one stops seeing them as such and become blind.Their hearts become closed, their intellect becomes deadened and even so called intellectuals behave in a tribal manner. It is good to see that you wield your pen with a greater power than the sword to cut through organised oppressive thinking. I bow very low to you. Jacob
@Jacob,
“Ignored injustices”. I like the term you have used. You are right, these are ‘ignored injustices’ barely recognized by even those who are its victims. You are right about them happening so frequently that people have “stopped seeing” any injustice in them.
“Organized oppressive thinking” all around us Jacob and zombies blindly following them. I wish people use brains for what it is intended: thinking, questioning, finding answers. Instead we are nothing but sheep. blindly following.
Thank you. Actually it is I who bow low to you for the appreciation as also the understanding of what I deem to convey 🙂
Exactly as you said, shail, I think parents shout at the kids because they are scared to hell themselves!!!! But also, like you said, it is upto us parents to take control of the situation, and make the poor child realise she is the victim, and that she is NOT to feel ashamed!!!
@Writerzblock,
Yes! If they won’t help the child who will?? So they better pull themselves together. You know if food there is not enough food, any parent will proudly tell you that they would go hungry so the child can be fed. But when it comes to emotional needs, the parents’ own insecurities come first and the child’s need of emotional succor is conveniently forgotten.
There are actually *two* stories in this single post. Two, related yet different points to ponder over and lessons to learn. All in under 55 words!
Why parents blame their children, who have been at the receiving end already, is beyond me – whether it is in case of being eve teased or in case of being abused. Sad to say this, but I hold the parents as guilty as, if not more than, the abuser.
@Kiran,
I agree with that, haven’t understood this ‘blaming the children’ myself. I hold parents guilty too, more so than the abuser.
very nicely written…That’s what most of the parents do when faced with such situations. After reading this, I am sure many of us will find a better way to deal with such issues
@Chitralekha,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you. Even if one person deals with such issues in a better way, I’d be gratified. 🙂
So succinct, and so poignant and powerful.
It’s hard enough for a child to not immediately retreat into shame thinking that things that happen to them is ‘their fault’. Sadly, reinforcement or lack of support is a main cause for the behavior.
Certainly food for thought.
@Brenny,
Thank you. Yeah, many times, when they need support the most is the time they are denied.
Powerfully expressed.
You are so right.
Immature parents behave like this.
They have just made sure the child will never confide in future.
You talked about licensing for parents in a previous post. You have just made the case stronger.
As a child, I too have been subjected to this kind of embarrassment when I traveled by train.
Looking out of the window as we approached the station, I could see the rumps of so many people easing themselves as they squatted along the tracks.
While mercifully, most had the backs towards the train, a few sat facing us and were exposing themselves. The sight was obviously not pleasant.
My first exposure to porn as a child was the crude drawings on the walls of the toilets in the trains.
I noticed, but was too embarrassed to discuss with parents or any one else.
Today I am confident I can handle a question from a child in a mature way and not take the child to task.
Good writing.
Regards
GV
@G Vishwanath,
From my observations of life for half a century, I feel that to become parents, some form of license (of a basic nature at least) is necessary. I read about a woman letting her baby girl sleep with the male household help. What sort of irresponsible parents are these, one wonders.
Parents if mature will know where their anger comes form and will not dump it on their children.
Thank you.
so true . . .so sad.
@los,
It is, sadly so, very much the truth 😦
If something happens that is wierd and new
that doesn’t agree with your point of view
what is that, that you can possibly do?
Take out your anger on some unlucky few
who can’t in their life hit back at you.
@Govind,
“Take out your anger on some unlucky few
who can’t in their life hit back at you.”
And the best candidates for “those that cannot hit back at you” are children. The most use of “taking out anger” is by parents themselves the ones with maximum power (natural and conferred by society and culture) over their children.
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A very powerful 55er Shail! Loved it.
Your message to the grown ups is needed so badly.
@Priya,
Thank you. I hope parents treat children as their own not just by giving them material things, but by giving them emotional support too.
That is indeed a strong message for all of us.
I wonder how many times we – including myself – get angry at kids for some totally unrelated reasons. This 55er is a wake up call for everyone – firstly understand what the kid is trying to convey and secondly be responsible with your reactions.
@Bharti,
Once you isolate your own personal feelings, and tick off the children for their misdemeanors only, you will be surprised to notice that you become a hero with them. 🙂
Very well written.Parents feel helpless and unprepared to deal with such situations and the best way to cope with their inability to address the issue would be to take it out on the helpless child.Shame on such spineless parents who have become parents but cannot behave like one.
@Padma,
I read a story long back (when I was just a little more than a kid myself) It was from a child’s point of view how the man (father) comes home and shouts at the child, sometimes even hitting; everything it did seeming to annoy him. Another day, he comes home and just as the child cringes, waiting to hear the usual onslaught lifts the child high, laughs and hugs and gives it gifts too. The child puzzles and is unable to comprehend why the father is suddenly happy. But the reader is told whats behind the man’s behavior, the ups and downs in his office… and the day he is very happy is when he gets promotion.
This is just a gist. The story was so beautifully written it tugs at your heart strings and leaves you feeling sorry for all the children whose parents treat them according to their own mood swings. Needless to say, it influenced me so very much in my own life.
Absence of a verbal and unambiguous “its NOT your fault” from parents is just as bad as “Why did you look at him, you dirty girl??” A shocked kid merely looks for justification and approval from her parents that she did nothing wrong, and when the parent responds adversely, it just kills one part of their innocence.
@Lakshmi,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Lakshmi. Such parents themselves ‘kill’ their children effectively without giving them the necessary support and confirmation that they are not in any way at fault for such happenings.
YOu said it Shail! Totally said it!
@How do we know,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. Thank you. We do see a lot of this, don’t we??
Sad when will we start to trust the kids and see what is actually wrong …
BAD parents ..
Bikram’s
@Bikram,
Yeah, wonder why some parents are so immature
Strong and poignant in very few words.
As usual, Hat Off 🙂
Oops!!
Of course I meant “Hats Off!!”
@momofrs,
Thanks Noorulayn. Miss reading your posts. I have been very irregular 😦 Time is at premium. Sigh.
Hi You are so thoughtful.You seem to have a great observation power and that’s why even the simple things which we generally tend to overlook gets your attention and something very relevant comes to your mind. I have started identifying with you as I also have a sensitive mind and have given thought on simple issues of life. May be some day I will tell you about my fiction Delayed Monsoon which is all about Abhilasha, an ordinary housewife. An ordinary housewife with an over sensitive mind….how she over came her triviality and reached a height which could be inspiring for others.
@Chitralekha,
Observation power and sensitivity. You have both, to notice that in others 🙂 I’d be delighted to read Delayed Monsoon. The title itself speaks volumes. And the words ‘an ordinary housewife with an over sensitive mind’ sort of rings a bell. 😉
Sorry for the delayed response to your comment. I am traveling 🙂
Hi Shail wish you could write a review for Delayed Monsoon.To have an idea of what the fiction is all about please refer this link.
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2011/20110515/spectrum/book4.htm
Hi Chitralekha, I finally got your book (through flipkart) and read it. It touched a chord at many places. I am so sorry that I suck at reviews and don’t do them at all. But I found shades of brilliance in your story when Abhilasha meets Arvind and the time after. That part seems to be the most spontaneous writing from you in the whole of the book. I could be wrong. It is just my perception.
Well done! 🙂
Pithy and poignant. Thanks, Shail.
@csaawarenessmonth,
Thank you 🙂
And should worse things happen to her, the daughter will think its her fault and carry the burden alone….you hit the nail on the head Shail…superb style and content!! Tx 🙂
@arch,
In most households, daughters are scolded for things which are not their fault at all. Of course children in general face this problem with children, just that girls get a larger share of it.
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Hi,
Was referring Indi Blogger and stopped at your blog…
Nice 55 words story.. Whenever I read 55 words part, I immediately look into the story and most of the time, I dissatisfy but this time, I impressed.. So effective story..
Will checkout your other post very soon…
Keep Posting
@Ujval,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you. Well I am disappointed too by many 55-ers because I find there isn’t a story after all. I do try not to fall in that trap. So I am glad of your appreciation. Thank you. 🙂
Shail, your next target should be to write a book.. Coming from the land where we had the “God of Small things” .. you should write a book maybe with the same name, but with small powerful stories.. . Maybe it should be about discovering “God in Small things” and fixing the life of all of us..
Thank you Anil 🙂 It is a good suggestion. Let me hope I am up to it 🙂
And sorry for the late response 🙂