Years back, when I was still in school, my siblings and I had accompanied our parents to the house of one of father’s colleagues. We had been invited to spend the day with him and his family. What we still remember of the day is how the lady of the house, someone in her 30s, opened the huge wooden chest full of things she had stored, and just let the lid fall back with a loud bang when she was done taking out whatever she had wanted. Her action, naturally so, gave us guests a niggling doubt that we weren’t welcome. That of course had not been the case, as subsequent comings and goings proved she was indeed a simple and sweet lady.
What brought the lady to mind after all these years?
I feel now I know why she did what she did, let the lid of the chest fall from her hands as if she couldn’t care less. Though I haven’t as yet let any lids fall, it is a feeling I have come to recognize, not caring what happens or is happening around you. I remember the lady, the way she looked, her body language, the slow way she talked and walked, and after all these years, I see in her a fellow sufferer, someone with an under-working thyroid and in all probability, the extreme fatigue that goes with it, a fatigue that drains you physically and mentally that lids falling are the least of your worries. You don’t care about a lot of other things that would otherwise have been on top of your to-do list, the gathering dust, the piling clothes, the way food is cooked, how you are dressed, whether your hair is combed, if bills have been paid, or even whether your post is perfectly written.
Most times whatever energy you have is expended on things that should be done at all costs, and then there is none left for anything else. Sometimes you push yourself that extra quarter for something you are passionate about, and shortly afterwards the pendulum swings backwards, way backward than it ought to, making you weak, weaker. You don’t care what the time of the day is, mostly you simply want to be left alone as even listening to someone talk is a huge drain on you. Attending a call seems such a chore that you let the phone ring. So now you can guess why I am erratic in answering comments here at Shail’s Nest. I try my best, but some days it is just not possible. And this month (a month that I realized is special), I am pushing it, attempting to write a post daily for the NaBloPoMo while feeling that all I want is to find a cave and go into hibernation. (Trivia: I chose to push myself to do the November NaBloPoMo when I felt similarly tired)
Why am I writing about this topic of thyroid malfunction, today?
January is Thyroid Awareness Month. Most people are unaware and totally ignorant of what an under-active (or overactive) thyroid can do to a person. Heck, till a few months back I knew zilch about this butterfly shaped gland called thyroid or how its non-working could affect your life. All I knew was I was dead tired all the time. Even the doctors took their own sweet time, years in fact, to pinpoint the cause. I am not surprised though because, in our country most doctors view women as hypochondriacs by default. If you speak to them, they explain to your spouse, as if only the male-brain can grasp details. Only a handful think that you are capable of handling your own health.
Anyway, once I knew what was bothering me, I made it a point to educate myself and also those around me, and those around you really NEED to know, or else they end up giving you 1001 useless reasons as to why you are feeling the way you do and even more useless suggestions on how you can overcome it. I should know, as I got them in plentiful till my diagnosis came in. In my small way I want anyone who stops by here to be aware and not cause distress to anyone close to you, or around you, either by disbelieving them, or causing them to feel depressed by your uninformed suggestions. This January, educate yourself by reading up on different thyroid problems. There is enough material on the net. Here is the link to one ‘note’ that made me realize someone out there actually knows a lot of what I am going through: I am Hashimoto’s disease. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading it.