A college auditorium of a women’s college, filled to capacity with students, and also sprinkling of women teachers perhaps? They are listening in silence, to the speaker on stage, and his anti-women tirade. One can only guess at what was going through the minds of the listeners. Were they in agreement with the atrocious claims being made by him, or did they object to it in their minds and even then were cursing the system that made them powerless to object/act? But not Arya. Fed up with the rubbish being rained on them, she booed the speaker and walked out, or so I hear. Bravo! There is still something to hope for in this drab after-Nirbhaya scenario when the government has royally ditched us by giving the Justice Verma recommendations a go by. A lone girl who stood up against nonsense.
I go back and play the video again and again, only to watch Arya, the girl with spunk, walk out. I am glad someone caught that on camera. I love the anger (and disgust?) evident on her face. I love so much the purposeful way she walks. I love even more the defiance her body language screams. She is THE symbol of hope, a girl child I adore, the one who is able to stand up to nonsense, at least momentarily show her displeasure, in spite of no support from those around. And then I heard her talk and I realised she is not just a walker-out-in-protest. She knows to articulate her views as well.
I heard Arya answer the TV show host who asked her just when she booed the speaker. She says: It was when he said that capable (smart) boys can easily lure (trap) girls. A minor thing, you feel, right? But you probably haven’t heard the rubbish that preceded it. I myself was a wok of boiling oil when I listened to it. Look at the man’s audacity, daring to stand on a podium in a women’s college and belittling, nay degrading girls.
It seems, the male community, including the speaker himself, needed only 10 minutes to send sperm to the uterus of a woman. BUT, it is the woman thus impregnated who has to spend TEN long MONTHS (emphasis not mine, but that of the speaker) bearing that child and giving birth. I am not sure if this person just time-travelled to the present from some distant past. He seems to be ignorant that there are means by which the sperm can be prevented from being SENT to the uterus of a woman. Apart from the choice of abortion, there are pills, condoms, chemical washes and also an after morning pill available these days. We don’t live in an age when women HAVE TO bear a child for TEN long MONTHS if we do not want to. I am of course discounting the fact that the speaker was not intending to use force or advocating the same to others in SENDING SPERM (oh the pride in the Sperm Disposal Unit at his disposal!) to the UTERUS of a woman. Now returning to the TEN minutes of the equation, tell me exactly how long does it take to swallow a pill? Or like someone told me, bobbitise, for that matter?
There is more of nonsense. Girls who are bent on competing with boys (he uses the example of jumping) will only fall, break their backbones and end up displacing their UTERUS. (He probably thinks too that the backbones of men are made of India rubber and don’t break as men were made for jumping.). This guy seems to have a UTERUS fixation. I also heard him say that tight jeans affected the UTERUS adversely. Anyways, it seems once a girl has a displaced UTERUS, she will have to spend around 3-4 lakhs to set things right. He very thoughtfully tells the girls they need go for the process only if they want to ‘have a family’. For someone who seems to be a UTERUS expert, he seems to be ignorant that problems with the UTERUS are to be promptly attended to and is done not just for childbearing. But, why am I expecting factual thinking from ignorant persons? By the way I am sure Anju Bobby George, who has been jumping a lot and bringing the country glory, would die laughing when she hears the Displaced Uterus Theory of this man.
There is more drivel. Of all the good people on earth 80% are men and only 20% are women. Yup, just prior to making the speech he had been out taking census of the good people on earth. And of course they all told him the truth being boys. It is girls who are liars. 90% of them lie to their parents and are romancing boys on their mobile phones (his “wisdom”). Leave aside the fact that it also means 90% of boys are romancing girls. Perhaps he means the boys had taken permission from parents to go romancing the girls and that makes them truth-sayers and contenders for the Heaven-slot. Oh yes, he said Hell was full of women. Arya rightly asks the TV host, “How can he say that so authoritatively? Has he been to hell?” and also, “What does all this have with creating awareness and empowering women?”
Biology has a role in everything according to the speaker. When Arya walked out, we hear him saying magnanimously, “We’ll forgive the child who walked out. It is not her, it is her genes and DNA thats behind it.” Isn’t the picture as clear as ever? You disagree with Prehistoric Dinosaurs and what you get is that there is something wrong with YOUR genes and DNA. Why hasn’t someone given the man a Nobel Prize yet?
I don’t know what other pearls of wisdom fell out of the Uterus-expert’s mouth. People have been blaming women themselves for the atrocities committed against them since centuries. Did the State Education Department need to appoint someone such as him as captain of a delegation meant to create awareness, only to repeat the same old thing? What exactly was the aim? Was it to scare girls into submission and create doormats out of them? WHERE are the parents who should be up in arms for their wards being forced to hear such rot?
By now you all know who I am talking about. I won’t name him because this blog is for Arya, the only girl who walked out unable to stand the atrocious rubbish being spouted as wisdom from onstage. None of her fellow students walked out with her. Not one. And I don’t know what the teachers of the college were thinking while listening to the nonsense. It takes immense courage to do what she did, walk out alone in protest, in such a scenario
Dear Arya, I live in the same city as you. I have never felt any particular desire to meet anyone belonging to the place. I have never been particularly proud of this city either. But now I am proud to say I belong to Trivandrum where resides Arya. And I have a wish, to meet you and shake your hand. I haven’t heard anything of what your parents think about all this. But let me tell you, if any daughter of mine did what you did, I would be the happiest and proudest mother on Earth. I don’t know if at your age I would have had the courage to do what you did. But I’d like to believe, imagine perhaps, that I would have done the same…. Here’s to you, Arya!
Read about the incident, here.
A related post from IHM, here
Shail's Nest 
Bravo, Arya!
And Kudos for this post!
I read about it in the papers. I have no cable TV, for some time now… so I missed the action on the telly.
Sad but true, is the sorry story of the teachers, who SHOULD have led the way. But then, most of what he said, was probably going thru’ their minds… how the girls should be “careful”. Well, in a chat show, even the super-est-star in the entertainment industry did it. So there.
But, there is hope. Even with this one girl, with the courage of her conviction. Salutes to her!
I remember what the super-est star said. I was so disgusted listening to him. He does not have a pinch of the courage or sense this young girl showed.
Yes, she is ‘HOPE’ to a lot of us.
After reading this FB post I realized that majority of Keralites agree with this man. I think we need more Aryas..that is the only solution. Imagine if a Justice like Basant can hold such prejudiced views of women then what is the hope in the rest?
After Justice Basant utterances I lost sleep..nd now this man who is seemed to have lectured and offered counselling in schools nd colleges must have transferred his prejudices to many… Kerala is doomed.
I am apalled at the comments supporting the speaker. WTH. Don’t people have ears to hear the rubbish he has spouted or brains to process it? They are trying to sell the idea that empowering women means teaching them their limitations first and that is what the speaker was doing. Excuse me, what was that again?!! People do take us for dumbos.
I hear you. That sense of doom is all prevailing 😦
Patriarchy is a Drug with very easily addiction capabilities. Those who dont do it that drug are the only ones not addicted. They want every girl to be “adanngi, odangngi” bow their heads and put up with nonsense in treatment and in words.
Thank God!! for people like Arya.
It’s not just a thing of kerala or men.. You will find men AND women, in AND out of kerala who think like this. It’s the idea that is wrong.
What Happy Kitten says about Kerala being doomed is in a different context. I don’t think there is any reference here to men as such and excluding women?
She deserves this and many other wonderful posts! I agree with every single thing you wrote. Arya from Trivandrum..you are the spark, the only face of hope! And you made us so Proud. A wonderful Post Shail ! Kudos!..
Thank you. I heard of her from the L & M. I hardly take a look at the local news. I am so glad he made it a point to tell me. Her walking out in protest is something that will stay with me always. So young and so much courage.
Brilliant post Shail.
I wish everyone in the audience had thrown a sandal at that idiot and buried him in a sandle grave then and there.
But yes after seeing this one girl I am sure that no one will now dare to speak like this and even if he/she does, there will be more Aryas who will walk out.
Her action is going to inspire others to react and THAT is the best gift Arya has given us. Thank you Amit.
Like you, I too played that video again and again just to watch her. I can’t describe the happiness I felt watching her. You have explained it way better 🙂 There is indeed hope for our country with such courages women like Arya.
God I couldn’t bear to listen to all that rubbish. He is a fine example of people who should be locked away in an asylum. 😡
Yes, she does represent hope! Surprisingly the speaker talks well and knowledgeably on other topics. But like someone said, when it comes to girls/women the views of such people are orthodox and filled with hypocrisy. 😦
Reblogged this on The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker and commented:
“I am glad someone caught that on camera. I love the anger (and disgust?) evident on her face. I love so much the purposeful way she walks. I love even more the defiance her body language screams. She is THE symbol of hope, a girl child I adore, the one who is able to stand up to nonsense”
Reblogged this on A Quest on Overdrive … 🙂 and commented:
For Hope. For more young and not so young Arya s. For dignity and respect. For wanting to raise oneself, from the doormat one has become.
I agree, she did well. The others should be ashamed of themselves though. Being the first to stand up and leave, takes a lot of courage. Being the second, or the third, or the fourth is a lot easier. They should all have gotten up and followed her, but as far as I understood none of them did.
Pity.
I agree… I wish more of the students and even the teachers had stood up and expressed disgust (and indirectly displayed some intelligence).
I hope they are feeling ashamed. I agree, being 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc does not require as much courage as the 1st person to stand up. And yet no one followed her out. But the news channels report that the teachers warned the speaker that if he continued with his talk the situation might worsen and that’s when he stopped. I was wondering if that was a ploy on the teachers’ part to get him to stop his tirade or whether there was actually unrest brewing among students after Arya had walked out.
I think I have solved the percentage problem – see, 90% of the girls are romancing the 20% of the not-good boys. Which would be why 80% of good boys, like the idiotic speaker, are so full of rage at women in this idiot’s world….
Gah. Too annoying to even make fun of it.
I don’t have a doubt that you are right about the percentages. And like Rashmee said, “He got it wrong, it isn’t because of not being good that there are more women in Hell. Its ’cause heaven stank with the likes of him and the women made a special request to go to Hell when they couldn’t stand the stink!”
Why weren’t any rotten tomatoes, eggs, or chappals/shoes thrown at this guy? Looks like students these days have no fire in their belly ..except Arya of course.
I have to sadly agree with you. No fire at all. Why were they not booing the guy in one voice?
The other girls may have disagreed as well. But they are very scared to articulate it , let alone walk away because they are afraid of being sidelined and considered “outcast” and be booed afterwards. I know it , I have been there , done that. Stood against dowry in a crowd of 300 students . When the speaker asked who will come out with me to protest against dowry only one stood up – I was the ONLY one.
And then my friends ! told me that boys will never marry you and then i heard my parents whisper to a guy who came asking , when are you getting her married? How much are you ready to give. After my first reaction in college by my friends i started to thinks more subtly, more politely more strongly. I was not a great student, but I persevered long and hard and prayed and entered the portals of IIT . Because I was financially independent and living on my own, I could do what I pleased, not that my parents were pleased about it. But what could they do – with a financially independent women. This was not in Kerala , this was very much in the suburbs of Bombay.
Not to take away the light from Arya – but I just wanted to say – that women’s subconscious must change to learn that she is as powerful as a human being
i forget to tell you the worst part – after I stood up alone and the speaker appreciated me afterward, the word reached my parents .
I havent still forgotten the lecture and the mahabharaat that followed long after that and the taunts and the hints that I got from my mother. I wanted my parents to back off and stop the taunts about “standing up “.
you can get sidelined and take the taunts of your peers but if your mother is breaking your back and racing the roof of that one action, it becomes a menace to the peace and the quiet in the house – hassle for my siblings and father.
…she continues even today for me standing up for many other things .
Like someone already has said, being the first to stand up is the most difficult, not being the 2nd, 3rd or 4th. In this case Arya had already stood up. So to follow her was much easier than what she herself did.
To tell you the truth, I do not understand just what you are trying to convey. You say you stood up. But did you stand up because you had the conviction or because you felt that was cool? Looks like you have regrets for having stood up. Pardon me if I am wrong. But that is what your comment reflects to me.
As for Arya. she is one brave child. Period. Nothing anyone says can take away from that 🙂
Cool was not a word in our generation Shail. Standing up for convictions was.
I dont have any regrets for standing up – I should have brought that out clearly.
My point is Arya stood up and many girls did not follow because they were scared, that’s all. I am drawing the light on why only ONE could stand up ?
They could even follow her, but did not have the courage to do that, which reflects the state of passive acceptance in our society.
If kerala is hailed as a place of women’s upliftment and empowerment than the other states of India, ONLY one Arya stood up .
What will it take for many more , just to follow at least ?
What is it that we should do?
What are the students learning ?
The very fact that the speaker could speak in the XX number of schools jabbering away rubbish and not being asked to stop by other teachers and authorities in other schools speaks volumes of kerala teachers “passive ” authority of not stopping him when he gave his first speech, assuming that he spoke everywhere the same thing. Doesn’t it reflect on the other adults who are allowing to pilferate such incorrect information ?
Oh come on now. Many of the words we ourselves used weren’t there 30 years back. Lets not split hairs about words now. If you understood what I meant, that is all that matters.
Yes only one could stand up and THAT IS WHY this blog was written if you think about it 🙂
Awesome Ma’am. Sharing this.
Thank you Nidaa and welcome to Shail’s Nest 🙂
This guy is unbelievable. I just watched his ‘defence’ on the Asianet show: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=481959311866870 What a colossal moron. Hats off to Arya. I’m pretty sure that if he’d said this in my college, he’d have been lynched. We have had similar idiots come and preach to us and we’ve always given it back to them.
Yes, I watched the ‘defence’ too. But I notice that we now have many online defenders defending the defender! Well, actually I am amazed how the speaker could get away with this in a college, a women’s college at that. I heard that since the CM was expected there was heavy police presence. I wonder if that was a factor that deterred students from heckling the speaker.
Is this your first visit here? Welcome to Shail’s Nest.
Good to meet a malayalee who accepts the truth with open eyes and doesn’t shut her eyes to the truth
Have been doing that for decades now 😉 And to tell you the truth, I am yet to meet someone, even of the younger generation, who has as open a pair of eyes and mind as mine considering that my life has always been in small towns among conservative people. 🙂
I feel like stalking the speaker, with cartons of rotten tomatoes and eggs. Just before his speeches I’d like to distribute them gratis to the audience. Such speakers, male or female need to have rotten eggs or tomatoes thrown on them.
A very good idea. Ritu. But I bet you the tomatoes and eggs are going to feel contaminated.
There’s a saying up here, it translates aproximately like this: “Never wrestle with a pig. If you do, you’ll both get dirty, but the pig likes it.”
Just because he is an asshole, is no reason for the rest of us to be. He deserves booing. He deserves people getting up and turning their back on him, and simply leaving.
But he, and others that we disagree with, should not be physically assaulted in any way just for saying something we find disagreeable. Sure, he’d deserve it. But we’re better than that.
You are absolutely right Agrajag and I agree completely. The eggs and tomato throwing is just a wishful mental exercise 🙂
Yeah. I know. I just wanted to point it out, to avoid any risk that someone would misunderstand. On the Internet, in pure text, it’s not always easy to tell how serious someone is, unless you know them well.
The minute I read your (previous) comment, I understood 🙂 Thank you.
Ritu, that is a good idea. But that could have considered as “not accepting authority” behavior. Inspite of the fact the gentleman was the one who was the one speaking volumes of incorrect and in appropriate behavior. I am very surprised what was women’s police doing there – wasn’t it an education workshop in any case ??
Or did the school authorities already forsee this ? May be as a back up action plan students can carry old chappals , because it will be least suspected and new
footwear is expensive !
Correct me isnt shashi tharoor the hrd minister of the country ? and he stood for elections from kerala and He did not even know what was going on ? May be such things are frivolous for a globe trotting politician. .Sorry I forgot he is in Dubai, counting the green notes, or at some board meeting in the US Indian company talking rhetoric ?
Heres to Arya. The only person in that whole audience who had the guts and courage to stand up and protest. It scares me that so many others have either accepted what that man said, or felt it was harmless.. Thank God for Arya! We might not even have heard of this if it hadn’t been for her.
It IS scary, Smitha, the silence and/or the passive acceptance. Kudos to Arya for making that difference.
Shail, I finally saw the whole interview and read the comments under the video -its appalling! There are so many people who feel that that man is totally correct! It is mind-boggling, to say the least! And very very scary.
😦
Reblogged this on My attempt to write.
I reblogged this… we must spread the voice of women like Arya ! 🙂
Thank you. Yes, we must let others know what this one girl did.
Superb post Shail. I just wish the whole gang of girls should have booed him. But nonetheless, at least there is one… a flicker of hope.
Thanks. I really don’t know why they all did not join Arya in booing him. I had a better opinion of the college. But there is at least this one.
Bravo, Arya..people like you are a ray of hope for our country. I join you in booing at that speaker and all such idiots who degrade women. Shame on them.
And Shail, kudos to you for this post1 and thank you. If not for this post and your fb links, wouldnt have known of an incident like this.
You won’t believe Deeps, my husband read out this news to me the very next day this happened and I had paid only half attention to it. We have become so used to people saying all sorts of anti-women things that you take it in your stride. But later I heard about a girl walking out and curious I googled the news. That’s when I saw the video clip and was apalled.
Pingback: The Girl Who Walked Out « Everything's Official About This
So happy to read this, Shail! I do hope she gets to know that there are so many of us who applaud her tho I have a sneaking suspicion that the majority of the people around her may be trying to brainwash her into thinking she did wrong…hope she does not feel alone in all this…and if you do get to meet her, i have no doubt we will be the first to know…very well written, Shail!
Many comments on the videos at youtube and some FB pages speak against her. I don’t understand how anyone can blame her and for what? But you have to read those comments to see the way warped minds work!
Bravo Arya. Listening to that man talk was so very disgusting. I wouldn’t have had the courage like Arya but what she has done is something that will be a milestone in history. Here’s to her courage and act.
Joy always,
Susan
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Susan. Yes, what Arya has done is going to be remembered always!
Although Arya needs to be congratulated for her stance, I do find that his is exactly the problem. If from a room full of people only 1 person has the courage to stand up and walk out – that does tell you the state of those people as a whole. The rest of the people (for whatever reason) simply don’t care, the worst part about this is that despite her being the only one – now she will be the intimated one as those who stayed will simply (unaware to themselves) be a force against her and her stance.
Indeed, that is the problem, that not more people objected to this nonsense or walked out of the hall. That makes what Arya did all the more special. That her friends did not follow her out did not stop her from deciding what she wanted to do.
Yes totally agree, but what has this one women achieved or changed? In my view (and in only my view) it may have been more advantageous if a group of them (not necessary just her friends) made the same move – this would mean a more bigger and and louder statement.
There is always a beginning. And beginnings are not well orchestrated. Something is better than nothing, isn’t it? Did India win freedom at the first instance of protest? Did all join that first instance of defiance shown? I don’t think so. So lets not brush aside what a brave girl did as of no consequence. What she has done or changed is ‘sow the seeds for future” or “be an inspiration to those doubtful of what to do” And THAT is no mean feat.
In my view beginning of this started a very very long time ago, these such happenings are a ‘reactions’ to that beginning. Of course something is better than nothing but how do you capitalise on that ‘something’ is my question? No India didn’t win freedom at the first instance of protest and neither the people capitalise on the noise from that first freedom protest, and let’s not forget the comparison of India freedom protest to the protest this blog post is about has a massive difference otherwise one can argue how would the people of India react to a rape of a girl who is Dalit or would India have the same reaction? Shail, I never ‘brushed aside’ what this brave girl did I actually congratulated her in her stance – so please refrain from over generalising my comment.
Every individual can protest individually but my point is, until there isn’t a collective push by everyone, those individual people will continue to be remembered and forgotten just as quick.
Let me remind you again – I never brushed aside her stance and neither of anyone else who made similar stances – my point was – isn’t it better to make a collective statement as oppose to many individuals ones.
Let’s agree that we are unable to communicate well with each other as evidenced by the above comment exchanges and put a stop to it, right here. 🙂
It’s your place and I respect your wish – if I have said anything to offend you (which I believe I haven’t) then let me take this opportunity to apologise right now right here. It wasn’t my intention. But my views are based on what I read and feel.
Good reply Shail!
Thank you, Sanu 🙂
What appalls me is that none of her friend supported her. What kind of friends are they? It looks like they agreed with her and yet didn’t walk out.
Is it something to do with not wanting to draw attention to yourself?
Indeed, I am as much apalled. She says she suggested walking out as they did not have to listen to such rubbish. What exactly stopped them from following her out?! This lone protest is not what you expect of a women’s college, especially when women were being denigrated.
Thank you so much for the post! I did not know of this incident nor of Arya! My heart swells in happiness that there are women in the country who dont keep silent, who are not afraid to expressed their disapproval and disgust. I write this on Valentine’s in mangalore where there is a an atmosphere of fear..women are wearing brown, no roses, not even flowers. It makes your article even more poignant–the courage to spean when majority stays silent…
Welcome to Shail’s Nest 🙂 I had not noticed I had posted this on Valentine’s day till much later. In fact y’day I had begun writing a post in which Mangalore figured. You see, I was a student there a long time back and there was no atmosphere of fear at all. But I put that aside to post this.
“The courage to speak when majority stays silent” Yes, that is exactly what makes me admire the girl.
I read his whole uterus ‘theory’. And i realised that’s all his life has come to: his sense of ‘power’, his sense of ‘identity’, his sense of ’empowerment’, his ‘strength’, his ‘value system’, his ‘philosophy’, his ‘understanding’ of his religion – everything rests in that one little part of his body that can ejaculate. Take it away from him, and it seems he is nothing – powerless, useless, faceless. And to think this man is in some kind of an authoritative role is shattering to say the least.
This incident shows what hollow places we have as ‘educational’ institutions, and the substance-less people who run such places.
I can’t even begin to cheer Arya enough, I cannot applaud her enough. I hope her parents are proud of her – they must’ve done everything right to give her the self respect, confidence she so displays.
Yes I’m sure there are thousands who ‘support’ this man’s views – all of them – be it men or women – similar to him, whose entire existence goes in obsessing about what happens between the legs.
This man is a botany lecturer and also has M.Phil, Doctorate in Microbiology, B Ed, degree in library science, MS in psychotherapy and counselling and look at what we are hearing?! The tales begin and end with what the sperm disbursing unit can do to keep women in their place. “Empowering the women through teaching them their limitations” is what he says about these uterus lessons. Empowering women by telling them “Don’t you dare try to imitate boys for your uterus cannot take it!”?!
Until Justice is quickly and fairly dispensed, we will have women like the ones who didnt walk out.
If I could guess what was going on in those Girls and teacher’s heads, it would be something like this.
1. If I walk out and get into trouble with my parents, then I will be disappointing them, after all they are paying for my education.
2. Everyone I know is like this person, so whats different anyway.
3. If I walked out and my would-be-inlaws heard of this, I probably will end up an old maid burdening my parents.
4. Just another Idiot speaker, once this is done I am so looking forward to the lunch/break/going home early.
5. So what if I dont like it, its not like anything is going to change, and tomorrow I have to come back to the same college and see his idiotic face and live in Hypocrisy.
6. I agree with him, this is what my parents and relatives and everyone I know and care about say too. Wah! Even the professor says the same thing.
You’ve nailed it Mysoul. That is the sad truth that leads to silence and apathy.
My soul, you listed the reasons ‘going on in my mind’. Being mallu, this is what is taught’no need to protest and try to become someone big. go to school/college, study, listen everything, come back home, get good marks.. enlightening from the education begins and ends right there:) sad, very sad. Becuase I am not brave enough to fight/protest like Arya, I took easy route..ran away from the problems to other side of the globe.
Kerala, is a living proof that 100% literacy does nothing to bring commonsense to screwed up people’s head.
I can so relate to what you are saying Shy. And it is the truth.
Shy, I was able to list it cause I was one among the ones who sat apathetically at one point of time in my life. I can see the other side. I still don’t know if I would have been with Arya if I had the opportunity at that age or for that matter if I was the Teacher at that college and I didn’t have other means to my livelihood or if in any manner would hurt my family or the ones I cared about. Everyone has a reason for why they do or not do things…So I cannot Judge them. Literacy is very different from Education…Literacy helps you know the sounds a shape makes. Education helps you Understand what the sound Means and how to Apply it to live a Harmonious Life.
This is my feeling that if the Legal, Judicial system was implemented the right way, I wouldnt think twice about standing against what I know is Wrong, cause now I can take it to court and KNOW for a FACT that Justice will be dispensed Rightly and Speedily. So now the question is Why is our Justice system the way it is? What are the reasons? And if you look through carefully, the base is Patriarchy, the Hierarchical System that has made our communities hollow from the inside.
^Education in their terms means getting a good job, especially as a doctor or engineer. So yea if you’re a doctor or engineer (and nurse), you’re educated ! (bogus!). Truth is there is no meaning to education there. Education there does not mean treating everyone with respect, regardless of age. You have the authority to control and dictate the lives of others because you have power and are the ‘elder’ (though there are a lot of things that elders teach that should be looked at and be appreciated for, there are many bad examples as well that we shouldn’t follow, but we MUST follow the bad too even if we know it’s wrong). That’s Indian society for you. They don’t realized that REAL respect needs to be earned and taught the proper way rather than treating people as trash and manipulate and backstab others, make offensive/insulting remarks and then all of a sudden demand respect you are older and think you can treat and behave anyway you want to. Respect is a two way process, not one way. Education there doesn’t mean allowing children to discover themselves and exhibit their talents and interests that will help shape and better the Indian community and allow the children to become more productive and diverse. We can learn things from different perspectives and views when forming opinions so that we can see the issue from all corners, not one side. Instead, if the children don’t follow societal norms, they are shunned from the community. Lastly education there does not allow open mindedness, you must follow the extremely heavily narrow minded mentality to be considered a true Indian. Lastly they don’t encourage women to voice out some of the social issues revolving around them and because it’s a heavily patriarchal society where women just need to follow and do what the men say as if they were some puppy dog (I was told this by mom too !). it would be going against “culture and tradition” if a women fought back or voiced out some of the negative issues going on in India. Therefore they have no choice but to suck it up and live miserably (unless you are lucky, some women are lucky).
Well, speaking of that
Probably this is why there is a strong divide between Indians in metros/outside and Indians who grew up exclusively in one place where diversity doesn’t exist. Think of the difference between ‘pakka’ malayalees and malayalees (I’d say hybrid?) everywhere else outside Kerala. Rarely would they mix because of the mentality difference (there are rare exceptions though where some pakkas are very respecting, but most of them..no). While malayalees who grew up outside or lived outside (some of them where they transform from ‘pakka’ to hybrid, but there are still many who are still stuck in their time warp) for a LONG time, they are a little more open to ideas and influences,. ‘Pakka’ malayalees’ will never accept differences and will always mock and ridicule and blame everyone outside for not being and thinking alike like them. They think their way is always right and will never acknowledge anything that is outside their box of thinking (which is the size of peanut). Luckily the younger generation in Kerala are finding this out and know better but they have difficulty breaking the mold. Funnily enough many of them want to get out of Kerala and move somewhere where they can lead a normal and peaceful life like a normal person. And you know what the sad thing is? A lot of them NEVER want to return to their homeland.
At least in the West, even though we are considered ‘bad’, we are taught to respect everyone’s personal beliefs and viewpoints even if we don’t agree. We are taught not judge and mock behind others backs, treat that person with respect…older, younger, you name it, do not shove your own wants and desires into their throats. No one is better than the other. We’re all different and unique. Let us celebrate that rather gossip and back stab.
Speaking of that, kudos to Arya. She’s one blessed soul.
Great post! Arya is one of a kind. And yes, the courage this young girl expressed will make many a girl/woman react the next time when they hear such rubbish. Kudos to the camera person who captured the proud moment – pictures speak a lot more.
I wonder what he was actually trying to convey to the girls.
I wonder if he himself knows what he was trying to convey, apart from telling girls don’t you dare cross your boundaries or else you will suffer dire consequences.
Thanks. I feel too that what she did is an inspiration for all. After all, we can walk out, we need not force ourselves to listen to rubbish.
Bravo Shail and bravo Ayra. A beautifully written post and, for me, an education to read. Thank you.
Thank you Anne 🙂
very brave girl, it’s admirable in one so young , especially when surrounded by such mentality.
She has my support and encouragement , good wishes and prayers, i hope she gets the support from her peers and parents and teachers too. Even if they didnt support her and walkout i hope they support her now that they have thought about this in leisure 🙂
What a brave child and so clear in thought.
good job shail, blogging ont his, i hope this reaches a wider audience. not only should be teach our girls to stand up for whatthey think is right i think we have to as a whole teach our children not to blindly follow people if they are older than them, I always tell my kids old age doesn’t bestow wisdom, just experience and lot of fools will misuse that experience. it is upto them to separate right form wrong and use their god given buddhi.
BTw your peoms and writings are excellent.
Thank you Radha. I have been reading your comments at IHM’s and so enjoy reading them. I know we are kindred souls 🙂
Indeed Arya says in an interview that when she went to college next, students swarmed around her and appreciated her.
I am so with you on teaching children not to blindly follow the words of those older to them. I am of the opinion that one should think things and arrive at what should be done rather than follow elders’ words blindly. I hate the poem about the boy who stood at the burning deck.
And welcome to Shail’s Nest.
Thanks. Yes we are indeed kindred spirits. And also free ones I think, aren’t your kids grown uu and flown the nest too?
I’m enjoying this stage, no little ones, established career, no responsibilities. Living for each day. :-).
Your writings are very crisp you should think of publishing.
10 minutes to ejaculate and 10 seconds to make a complete ass of himself in public. Perhaps the “biology teacher” could spew forth his expert wisdom on the matter of how such weak, primitive thinking happened to escape evolutionary elimination.
But you are right, enough of the focus on his drivel. Arya, soul sistah! If I had daughters, they would have had her swagger. So thrilled watching her walk out that my uterus did a cartwheel.
Lol @the cartwheels. Scores of uteri probably did just that watching Arya walk away. Come to think of it, you have a point about evolutionary elimination having missed doing its part
great arya…
Thank you and welcome to Shail’s Nest 🙂
She is wonderful…I am honestly really proud of her…..She gives us all hope doesnt she?
Loved the way you wrote it as well Shail…its just so much to the point!
Thank you R’s Mom. Yes, she gives all of us ‘hope’!
she is my hero…
Come to think of it, she is for most of us, older or younger.
Loved this post Shail. Brillinat. Kudos to her. I do fel scared for the others who sat through it though. Seems so obvious to have walked out 😦
Hail Arya! may your tribe increase !
Thank you. Yes, one can understand the helplessness of those who did not follow her. That makes Arya all the more courageous.
I think this is your best post yet, Shail! Brilliantly written 🙂 *standing ovation*
Love that twang of sarcasm all through the article! 😀
He probably thinks too that the backbones of men are made of India rubber and don’t break as men were made for jumping.)
Still laughing over this part! 😆
Danke, danke *takes a bow* Maybe anger contributes that extra something..
Not anger. Passion. You care a lot, and that makes all the difference.
Yes, that’s the right word, I guess 🙂
Hi Shail,
Good post! Bravo Arya! There should be more girls like you.
I don’t know how much time “Lorena Bobbitt” took to cut…..
Thank you Sonykutty and welcome to Shail’s Nest.
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Oh my dear Lord! I would love to send my shoes via his ‘sperm postal system’. But I will focus on Arya. Whatta woman! And yes, I too, Shail would be so proud if my daughter ever did this. In fact I will talk about this to her today itself.
I wish to visit Trivandrum where reside Shail and Arya…..and Luci 🙂
And you are not going to believe what happened yesterday! 😉
Quite disturbing. Am appalled how this guy has been talking in so many stages without getting this kind of response. What Arya did was beautiful, sensible and her response was also very thought of and controlled. Kudos and thanks for being a voice for all of us!
I am surprised too that he could get away with talking like this in so many places before someone finally stood up to him.
Thank you, Lakshmi. 🙂
This incident is familiar to me. I don’t know where I had read it. I remember seeing the filthy man’s video too.
Even I would be proud to have a daughter like Arya. As you say, I too wonder how no teacher objected to this in any manner.
Very good emotional post, Shail!
Thank you, Sandhya. 🙂 May be it got shared on your timeline by someone.