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Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

It’s me, Shail.

What……?

Open the door!

But….WHY are YOU here?

First let me in. It’s quite cold outside.

Go back. It is not your time yet.

But they don’t want me there.

Who? Where?

In fact they don’t want any of us there.

What the he… oops. What are you talking about?

Ha. For someone who is supposed to be all-knowing you do seem rather clueless.

What’s that you are mumbling? Speak up.

Oh hard of hearing too, huh? No wonder they use loudspeakers to get your attention. Do you know how hard it is on our ears when that happens? Why can’t you get hearing aids and let our ears take a rest?

<dignified silence>

Hello! Are you there?! It’s chilly out here.

You haven’t told me yet why you are here before your time.

I did too. You didn’t listen.

Okay, okay get on with it.

They don’t want us down there. They are either killing us at birth or making life so difficult that we decide to leave. And some of us feel the situation is too hopeless that we volunteer to leave in protest. I simply chose to do that.

You can’t make your own decisions on these matters. I have set schedules and you are all supposed to stick to them. You can’t just come and go as you wish. What am I here for?

Yeah. Exactly what I have been wondering too all these days. What DO you do here?

What?!!!

Nothing. Look here, are you letting me in or going to let me freeze to death? Lol, that’s a scream, Freeze to death, I mean. Aren’t I already dead and frozen? Hahaha.

Stop that. Don’t cackle in those loud tones in these hallowed spaces. In a softer voice if you please.

OMG don’t tell me we have to be seen and not heard in this bally place too? Sh*t. I thought we women could be free and ourselves at least here, in these “hallowed spaces” as you call it.

Here the same rules apply to both men and women. And you better watch your language, young lady.

Thank God for small mercies. And what’s that? Young lady?! Hahahaha…

Compared to me you are pretty young, you know.

Hmm, I am curious, how old art thou?

Never mind. This is no time to discuss my age. Just tell me quickly why you are here and then get back to your assigned place to finish your time.

Golly, you make it sound as if I am sentenced or something. Finish my time indeed.

I asked you something.

Brrrr. This place IS cold. You might at least have made things a little warmer up here for those waiting to get in and also those you grill with questions. Brrr………. and grrr………

Ahh so now you think I don’t know my job?

ROTFLOL. You and knowing your job?! You gotta be kidding me. Not even your worshippers and followers think that you do.

Hmmmm… How is that?

What are you? The Clueless Creator or something? Look here. You created us. Right? The men and the women along with the rest of the things.

Right.

You put all those appendages (which I regretfully have to leave unnamed as this is being telecast live on my blog page and might attract all the wrong sorts), in place?

What do you mean?

You know some of them for men and some others for women… the things that sort of differentiate them like, you know.

Yes, of course.

Thanks for the confirmation. I was beginning to have doubts.

Why is that?

Good question. Some of your followers think that your design has flaws.

What?

There you go again. What DO you do up here? Don’t you have anyone to update you on things? No secretary, or at least a Twitter account or Facebook? Gawd!

Excuse me. That’s not the way it is said. It’s God, if you please.

<eye roll>

So you were telling me, young lady?

Lol. Dude, it’s kinda cute, the way you call me ‘young lady’ like this. But, if you think it’s gonna make me sing paeans to you, forget it. BTW, didja know I read a comment from a dude to a dudette on Facebook that it did not suit people of “our age” to call each other dude, or dudette for that matter? Have you heard anything that is funnier? I bet you haven’t! “Our age” indeed.

To the point lady.

Okay, okay. Bet you really don’t have the humor gene. Huh? Brrr……..But can’t you make things a little less cold for me? Breathe some fire or something this way to warm things up a bit.

<stern look>

Alright, alright. So have it your way and leave me to shiver in the cold. Pah.

I am waiting to hear you.

Okies. So, as I was saying, you designed humans the way they are now?

Yes. So?

Lol, here it is. Your staunchest supporters don’t think very highly of your designing capabilities. Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Howz that for those who think you are The Supreme One?

What do you mean?

In some places they are ironing out the breasts of girls. In some other places they are mutilating the genitals of women, cutting off all external parts and stitching things up to leave only a crude hole for the natural functions. You think people would do that if they had faith in you? Lol, they think they know better than you.

What?

Don’t act like a bally parrot. Some of your people are bent on modifying and supposedly improving upon the female form as you envisaged it, chopping and ironing supposed flaws that might tempt them. And then they say you created us in all your wisdom. Ha, likely story! Do you even have an idea of what FGM does to people? Or do you also subscribe to the view that women aren’t people?  

Lady! Watch your words.

Aaargh. Is that all you can say? Watch my words, my foot. Why don’t you watch the Earth for a change?

<silence>

You know I once made a comment that instead of ironing the breasts of girls, one should iron the unruly organs of men which are the ones that supposedly go all out of control on seeing the breasts. Look at the matter dispassionately, fairly and logically. Aren’t uncontrollable things that need to be controlled or rather ironed?

Excellent suggestion, though a bit bizarre. But why aren’t people following this?

Beats me brudder. My suggestion was countered with a curt, “No that’s not possible” from a cousin of mine, though he gave no reason for his answer. Methinks the thought gave him the jitters and it was a sort of involuntary reaction. Anyways, why the hell should girls be ironed because men can’t keep it in their pants? Is there nothing called justice in your bleddy world?

Language, language!

Arrrgh. You sound like a certain commentator on my page who after reading a blog, left a comment that said I have to watch my language because, because…. hold your breath, I am a mother. As if mothers have a language all their own and aren’t allowed to deviate from invisible path marked out for them. Lemme ask you a question, just WHERE do you get the stuff to make brains of such people? Don’t you have stores you can depend on to give you quality stuff for making something important like a brain?

<silence>

Tell me something. What exactly do you DO when they are killing infants (only the female ones, mind you) that you created, by feeding them salt, smothering them with a towel, drowning them in milk, making them drink poison etc, etc, etc… or simply plain abandoning them which is sort of different from chopping them up into pieces and then packing the pieces in plastic bags to be thrown in dustbins? And you STILL think your worshippers believe in you?! Give me a break! You are just a convenient peg for them to hang all their excuses for evilness.

<silence>

Have you read the blog posts at 50 million missing? If you haven’t, start now. You will know how they are making a fool out of you. On one side they sing praises to you (and you fall for it), then quietly go and kill your creations with impunity. You should stop listening to all that balderdash they play on loudspeakers in praise of you. Instead of sitting here complacently thinking all’s well with the world, get out on to the field as they say and find out what your creations are up to. My two cents.

Is there more I need to know?

Oh boy. Is there or what? This, my dear God, is only the tip of the iceberg!

Hmmm… Make it quick. I have an important appointment to keep.

Have you heard of eyes being windows of the soul and all that blah blah?

Yes I have.

I bet you are pretty proud of the pair you have given humans. Nifty little thingummies, pretty useful for mankind, must have been your thought when you stuck them on to the first human you created. Right?

Yeah, right

Lol. Some of your creations think it is wasted on women. They are debating on passing a law to force women to cover their eyes because the eyes of men might find them attractive.

What??

There you go again. You poor, poor thing. Nobody ever tells you anything around here, huh?

<broods in silence>

Then there are these women, probably paid lackeys of vested interests. They sit on committees meant to speak up for and protect women. But what they actually do is pull the rug from under the feet of those who they are meant to protect.

Traitors within?

Of course. There is more, if you wanna hear. Brace yourself.

Make it quick.

What would you say if one man hit another?

I’d punish the one who hit.

Good for you. You seem to have your head screwed on right. Alas, I cannot say the same about your creations.

What happened?

There is this judge. He probably thinks wife-beating is an honorable tradition that should not be allowed to die. He actually told a woman who did not want to stay with her abusive husband that she should ‘adjust’ with him and accept his beatings because her father probably beat her mother.

@$%*&%@+*&

I know how you must be feeling. It affected me just as bad. But… Now now now! Control yourself. Isn’t it just a few minutes back you were telling me to mind my language?!

No. Its not that. I am getting late. I have to go. You go on back to your assigned place. I will do something about all this.

What? Where the hell are you off to? And what do you mean telling me to go back? I am dead, remember? I gave up my life in despair and hopelessness. Why would I ever go back to that horrible place where I or those like me are not wanted? And strike me dead if you haven’t made me stand out in the cold all this time and freeze to death a second time too.

Okay okay okay… Whatever…. But I HAVE to go now!

Hey! Open the door! Let me in! 

No I can’t. Not now. I will be back in the evening to listen to the rest of the story and make some important decisions regarding this matter.

OMG, you mean you are going to let me stand here till then?

I have to. No time. And anyway, who asked you to make a hasty exit and come before your time was up?

OM freaking G! Haven’t you been listening to anything of what I have been saying?

Yes, yes, yes. But now I have to go at all cost. Wait. here. I will be back.

This is puzzling. What’s the big hurry?!!

Hmmm…. Are you sure you are really from Earth, young lady?

Of course I am. Haven’t I been telling you Earth-tales all this while? Why do you ask such a stupid question?

How come you do not know about the game that is being played right now?

Game? Game? What game?!!!

I have no time to stand here all day talking to you! God is about to bat….

Who? Whaaaa….?

………and I surely cannot miss THAT. Talk to you later. Ciao.

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