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This is a translation of a post (in Malayalam) by Firefly. Thank you Firefly for the permission to translate and post it at Shail’s Nest.
Advice is something that anyone, any time they feel like it can dole out free of cost. Some people might of course want to be paid for the trouble. But what one usually finds written on blogs fall under the ‘free’ category. So here is one of a similar kind.
It is being widely touted that sexual harassment against women is on the rise in our land. Is there something we can possibly do about it? Yes of course. And what would that be?? What else but give out some of that free advice? But please take note of this fact, the advice is not for the boys, it is only for the girls. Okay?! After all, aren’t they the ones who have something to lose, namely, their much valued chastity? So let me start by outlining probable sexual harassment scenarios followed by ways of avoiding them. Here I go. Now pay close attention, will ya??
1. Men grope and rape women after watching skimpily clad women cavorting on TV.
So from now on girls should not watch television at all.
2. Girls who travel all alone are the ones who land in trouble.
Girls should not travel by themselves. Now, if at all they are arrogant enough to do so, when night falls, don’t you dare move from the spot you are standing. Wherever you have reached, stand immovable like a rock on that very spot. Apart from that, the Government should be requested to soon implement the One Bodyguard Per Woman Policy at the earliest.
3. Girls get into trouble because they do not know the psychology of men.
Girls should immediately start reading and learning by rote, the book ‘Man- a Psychological Study’. Once you have studied the book, no man will ever get close to you. Instead they’d run away in fear.
4. Girls wearing jeans and other modern dresses give out signals of ‘molest me’.
Girls who are particular that they wear such dresses, do not forget to hang a notice around your necks proclaiming, “I don’t want to be raped”.
5. It is all because of the obscene dressing sense of the girls that boys (Poor things, they are in reality extra decent; but if girls try to seduce them, what can they possibly do??) end up doing what they shouldn’t.
Not a single girl should be seen on the streets without a purdah. Is that understood?? (The solution given above is hereby cancelled)
6. Mostly molestation happens from people who the girls are already familiar with.
Girls should never meet or get familiar with anyone. They should always keep to themselves.
7. Sometimes it is strangers who molest girls.
Ohhh is that so??!! In that case, girls should meet all the 110 crore people of India and get to know them. All problems will be solved. (Point number 6 stands cancelled)
8. Most harassment happens outside the home.
Girls should not get out of their homes. In fact they should not be allowed out on to the verandah even. If girls express the desire to study or have a career, in the manner of Balan K Nair of old Mallu movies, roar ‘Kheri podi akathu’ (To know what it means click here). If that does not work, heat a rod and beat the shit out of them, then lock them up. Ha! Not even a drop of water will be given you. Problem solved.
9. Many times, harassment happens inside homes.
It is strongly recommended that the Government build safe sanctuaries for girls. It should be ensured that all girl children are immediately transferred to such sanctuaries as soon as they are born. To make sure that girls as young as one day old as also feet-in-the-grave grandmothers are ensconced in such centres a new department itself should be formed. Our mothers, sisters, daughters, wives et all can be safe-guarded only in this manner. Women please co-operate!
10. Flesh trade exists wherever women are.
OMG. That means even sanctuaries for women aren’t going to work either!! Now what??! Hmmm…
Listen ye Mothers, Sisters, Wives and Daughters! Under the circumstances, you all canNOT live peacefully in any corner of the world. Wherever you live, you will be sexually molested. No, you must not let that happen. You should not let the purity of Indian womanhood to be sullied. You all know don’t you, that your chastity is the only wealth you possess?! Your hard earned education, job and even your little ones mean nothing before your honor or that of your family. So go forth and commit suicide en-masse.
This will have some other benefits too. Though you women are not counted as humans, your numbers are included in the population of this country. Imagine, when you are no more, the population will reduce itself by half. As a result, we will see the last of the country’s economic problems. With you all gone, there will be no reason for dowry and the practice will die a natural death. But most significant of all, we will be filled with pride thinking about you women who have taken your lives for the sake of honor. Elegies will be written for you and monuments erected in honor of martyrs such as you. Wouldn’t all that be more than enough to make you blissfully happy, watching us from above?? There is no joy over and above our happiness and comfort for you all. Is there??
This post, though satirical, touched a chord, especially after reading/hearing lots of views expressing (in recent times too), the view that girls and women are responsible for the way men behave. In the original post by Firefly here, there is a comment which says, the easiest (and hence one that should be favored above all else) solution to stop sexual harassment of women is their covering themselves. Short of hitting the guy who said that (and more, quite an “interesting” thread) over the head I can think of no way to put some sense into him or any of his ilk.
You can take a horse to the water, goes a saying, but you cannot make it drink. You can show statistics and throw examples at such people by the millions that shows they are wrong, but like the proverbial Mallu guy Sankaran, who always is back on the coconut tree however much you try to make him stay put on the ground, they would also go back to their zombie like existence of repeating baseless conclusions over and over so that it is established in more number of heads as undisputed truth. How do you reason with people who have already made up their minds?? How do you reason with people who disregard facts staring them in the face?? How do you convince mere spectators/perpetrators who brush aside the experiences of millions of those who have faced harassment, the victims?? Isn’t it the same old story?? The victims are disbelieved and baseless theories by spectators/perpetrators and their cohorts propagated.
This above is a satirical post. But with my experience with the supposedly educated but thick-skulled, I am disheartened enough to secretly wonder, if this is indeed the only solution to drive home the point.
Awesome! Loved the post. Am sharing it
@Phoenixritu,
It is, isn’t it?? I loved the satire, though the punch is lost somewhat in the translation 🙂
I think so too, Shail! Feel sorry for ourselves!
@Sandhya,
I definitely do these days. More than fifty years and still the same drama from even the new generation makes you feel depressed and angry too.
@Shail, What will happen to the generations next? The men women ratio is going down! Women are turned into men…will a woman be able to walk on the road, or come out of the house?
@Sandhya,
I am waiting to read the novel by Manjula Padmanabhan which outlines just such a scenario, a women-less country, just one survivor who has to be saved.
@Shail, it’s a very scary book…and even more because it’s entirely possible 😦
@starry eyed,
Reading a review of the book itself sent a chill through me. I agree, the scenario is a grim one that is entirely possible. 😦
@Shail, have you read the handmaid’s tale by margaret atwood…?
check out voiceofindianwomen.com
@trishla,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. No, I have not yet read Margaret Atwood’s book though it is in my reading list. Will surely check out your link.
infants get raped, kids get raped, teens get raped, women get raped, old ladies get raped. Sex Workers get raped, Women in skimpy clothes get raped, Traditionally dressed women get raped, Fully covered women get raped. Strangers get raped, Colleagues get raped, friends get raped, family gets raped, wives get raped. In all scenarios, people say that women get raped and it’s their fault.. why are they not talking about the rapist than the victim?
@Hrishi,
Beats me why they do that! But like I mentioned above, there is a comment to the original post that says, women covering themselves in the easiest solution and so that’s what we should follow. Tell me, short of drilling holes and manually putting in new facts, is there a way for such people to accept facts??
@Shail, And how fantastic is that..easiest solution..beats me? How can a fabric protect you from violence? Beats the normal thread of logic. It is just one of the many methods used to control female sexuality. Patriarchal anxiety is the reason why we are told to cover ourselves up..it is an entire culture, society at fault…we must break away from such a cultural practice…
@trishla,
Please read this “Clothing the women“. I don’t understand a stupid society that sees its women being harassed day in and day out the very dresses they have approved and yet make such stupid claims. Besides what stupidity and unfairness. If men lack control, they should be taught how they can control themselves. I don’t find any members of society walking around closing up food stalls or hotels because it might make the hungry (the most basic human need, sex comes only later) lose control.
Did you see the talk show with Thasni Banu yesterday ?
@Krishnaleela,
I didn’t. I am not much of a TV watcher, but I definitely would have liked to watch this. I am still spewing fire and smoke hearing and reading the reactions of the narrow-minded on the incident.
@Shail, Which incident>
@Hrishi,
Tasni Bano being attacked by the self-styled moral police in Kochi. She was manhandled. The retard members of society are nodding their stupid heads now and saying ‘she brought it on herself’.
“Why wasn’t she using the company bus??” “Why was she in that area??” and all such questions. Who the hell are they to decide where anyone should be at any time?? Is it alright for these goons to hit a woman (or anyone) because her life style is different from theirs??! I believe the useless morons told her “Kochi is not Bangalore” to be roaming around at 10 p.m. (She was going to her office and even if she wasn’t what business is it of others??) Instead of condemning the attack, now the junta whose head I personally want to bludgeon is dissecting her character. Blaming the victim. What’s new?!
In this country it is not enough that women follow the law. We also have to follow the unwritten law of goons for society to accept and extend help to us, if at all. 😦
@Shail,
2 days ago me and a cousin were feeling homesick and were nostalgic abt Kerala. All it took to get us out of this reverie was to remember the harassment we faced as school/college going teenagers in public spaces. My cousin who is right now in Delhi said she felt safer in Gurgaon than in our great mallu homeland. The only thing that puts me off from coming and settling back in Kerala is this attitude of people regarding “Kerala culture”. ” Ithu nammude Keralamaanu. Ivide inganayokke patto. Bangaloreileyum Bombaypoleyum azhinjattam pattilla” is the refrain used to quell any protest too
@Indu,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. Yes, our state does have the distinction of being unfriendly to women. You feel a lot unsafe, not only because of the harassing ways of men but also because no one comes forward to help you. “Eve teasing” and making lewd comments are “minor” offences that we women have to adjust with as part of life. I don’t doubt your cousin feels safer in Gurgaon. As you know no one goes out late at night except the people who work in BPOs and such. And yes, the sanctimonious pronouncements are the worst! They say azhinjattam pattilla to us but themselves indulge in azhinjattom. Scum!
Interesting post!!!!
@Sid,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thanks. The credit goes to Firefly, I found the original, a telling post. 🙂
But Shail, the problem of rape will not be solved even if there are no women…Rapists will then rape men and boys…That’s what happens in prisons…
@Sraboney,
You know what?! THAT is only when the zombies that are parroting the line ‘cover the women’ will wake up to the bitter truth. Though I wouldn’t wish anything harmful on anyone, I am tempted to wish it on them. I am that disgusted when I hear it.
What a worthy cause to die for!
Give away life for the sake of honor
Lets continue to kill the prey and spare the predator
for aren’t women, the creatures that we love to abhor
and most importantly for all evils, a common denominator.
Shail Good work on the translation 🙂
@Govind,
Thanks to you for the help 🙂
What a brilliant post! Thanks Shail for translating and sharing with all of us! It is such a brilliant post!
@Smitha,
Thank you. Yeah I found it really good. 🙂
Superb post.
@saritha,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you 🙂
Awesome post!
Some of the phrases… I am just translating back to Malayalam and it sounds so true.. what you would expect many to say also!
@Aathira,
It has the right punch in Malayalam. 🙂 One should hear the views expressed after the Tasni Banu incident at Kochi. Wonder when sense will prevail.
Very well written ..
but girls not watching TV and men not groping how is this going to work.. men will still watch TV 🙂
lovely post .. I hope the idiot MEN who do such things read and feel ashamed of it all ..
Bikram’s
@Bikram,
Biks, it is written with a hint of sarcasm because that is the sort of useless advice some people give. 🙂
Shailji, thank you for translating. I like the post…Basically it means, we just have to go back to the Age where Women were never seen or heard – an invisible existence.
And the most irritating thing is the claim “we are doing this(oppressing) for your good, cause we care”
@Rashmi,
Yes, that is the assumption that Firefly presents tongue in cheek.
Good satire Shail.Seriously speaking what all can you suggest as a solution for the problem?
@Charakan,
Thanks (to Firefly) for the satire. 🙂
Solution? For one I can suggest that boys to be ‘brought up’ in the right way. It makes hell of a lot of difference to bring them up as sensitive accountable human beings, aware of the injustice that is happening.
As for those already grown up and with fixed ideas in their heads… well, I am at a loss. I find even the most educated and supposedly “modern” may in reality be pretty regressive. Even spelling out thing systematically, logically and with examples too does not seem to work. Sankaran is usually again on the coconut tree, if you know what I mean.
I confine myself to trying to be the change I’d like to see. 🙂
But I’d say that first and foremost, the law should define what an adult is and should answer the question why a woman is not treated as an adult. We have judges sending adult woman back to her parents. Unbelievable.
@Shail,
Most mothers are illiterate to gender issues. Is there a role for a collective effort in making all mothers literate in this field so that there is a positive change in the way they bring up the kids?
@Charakan,
Yes, definitely. Mothers have to be imparted lessons. How else will they bring up sons and daughters with the right values? They definitely have a role.
A very telling satire. Thanks for the translation. Here is a future scenario…in the times of asexual reproduction aka cloning men and women live in two separate worlds. Of course the basic premise is they need each other only for sexual pleasure which is balderdash.
@Vivek,
Indeed it is balderdash. But the sex-starved junta will never understand that. The only thought that our society has at present if they see a man and woman together is “sex!”
I know how difficult it is to translate something from one language to another without loosing the essence, especially when it is something satirical. You did it very well. Thanks much Shail, for sharing it here. Congrats!! 🙂
@Firefly,
Thank you Firefly. But it is always more powerful in the original language, isn’t it?? 🙂
Loved this post. Thanks for the translation. Shared it on facebook and with Slut Walk Delhi group. I agree with Sraboney – when all the women are locked and covered, will men rape men?
Also when women can’t be seen, even the sound of a woman’s voice, laughter, her foot steps would be seen as provocative.
@indianhomemaker,
That is a question whose answer I’d like to hear from the _cover up women and solve all problems_ gang.
I guess when voice and laughter become the cause for provocation, the same people would advocate removal of the vocal chords or stuffing the mouth with cotton. After all, what is the harm in adopting ‘preventive methods’?? (according to them)
All hail the power of sarcasm !! 😀
@palak,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. 🙂
Awesome post! Sharing it!
@Cee Kay,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thanks.
You know that’s the thing, when people have decided something silly, how do you convince them otherwise. Been thinking of that since a few of the comments on IHM’s blog.
@cheesychic30,
You show them the facts, statistics, you answer ALL their questions… but instead of answering those you put forward, they insist on doing the “round and round the mulberry bush” routine every time. Short of putting them through the situation, beats me how to beat this situation.