Tags
A new tag is doing the rounds in blog-town kick-started by none other than The Indian Homemaker. Pal has also tagged me on the same one. The tag requirement: List at least ten things you have ever wanted to do or have done which your gender is not supposed to. Hmm… On reading it, a problem presented itself to me. I have always loved being a girl/woman and genuinely loved doing the things that are generally expected of my gender by society though let me hasten to add, not the least because it was expected of me. Cooking, keeping house, stitching, the arts…. I loved them all and still do so with a passion. In addition I am your typical damsel-in-distress when faced with creepy crawlies and run to near and dear ones for help.
I lost no time at all in becoming a member of Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes as soon as it was floated hoping to be a one among the Virtuous Sinners. But the way things looked it was as if I was destined to remain just a Despicable Saint. Believe me folks, unlike what the society and its self-styled custodians have us believe, being the Saint is NOT going to get us anywhere at all. And remember that is fifty golden years of experience speaking, take it or leave it. A saint unlike what the vociferous spokespersons of Monster Society, the Pushers of Customs and Traditions Down the Throat of the Rest outline for us, remains forever at their feet for them to wipe their feet on.
I was left wondering whether I was destined to be stamped a saint forever and what I could come up with now that I was tagged by both IHM and Pal, to redeem myself. But then I remembered how it has annoyed and also amused me considerably when my conformity to expected standards of society has often been misconstrued to mean that I also held regressive and traditional views about the role of women in general. I do what I do because I like to. Just try selling the idea to me that women are supposed to be stay-at-home-moms, do the cooking and cleaning and get their nirvana from being self-sacrificing devis (read doormats) and more likely as not you would be nursing a very bad bump on your head or at the least be sent away with a flea in your ear. Now, that is certainly not womanly behavior as envisioned by society. Is it?? That thought made me jubilant; I was a Grade A Sinner after all and all set to do the tag. So here goes
1. ‘Why??’ has been a favorite question of mine though there weren’t many takers. Questioning anything is considered a rather unwomanly trait. But I am damned if I accept anything and everything dished out in the name of our culture and ancient heritage.
2. From the above it is obvious that I think and NOT just about how to please the family which is the only ‘thinking’ expected and accepted of a woman.
3. I read a lot. Reading was not considered an activity suitable for women in the distant past. And when they finally were allowed the luxury, what girls/women read had first to be approved by the powers that be. I still remember hiding behind bushes to finish reading Anna Karenina, that too the abridged version.
4. I drive which is even in this age thought to be a man’s forte. Don’t even tell me otherwise. Here is what a young man, a couple of decades my junior, had to say on the topic just recently: The twenty first century woman is getting to be a better driver, because she is ‘inspired’ by man to be like him. Of course I have not stopped laughing as yet.
5. I prefer to sit in mixed company and listen/ talk on general topics of all nature rather than be asked to ‘go in’ and sit with the ladies and listen/talk about husbands, kids, maids, the latest in jewelry ad nauseam.
6. I lovvvvvvve gadgets, be it I-pod (I just got a new I-pod touch from the senior son), cell phones, laptops, dishwashers, washing machines, vacuum cleaners…. In fact I prefer machines and gadgets to humans.
7. In my house I am the one who deals with the techies who comes for repairing electronic gadgets. In spite, most of the idiots look at the Lord & Master (if he is around) while answering my queries on the assumption that he knows my household appliances better. Aaaargh. Truly speaking the L & M is not the least bit interested and whenever we are out shopping for electronic items, calls me over to listen to the salesman explaining the features and workings of the new purchase while he wanders off or watches some program on the display TV.
8. I love wearing trousers. Once ages back, while I was still in school, there was this humor columnist who in a guest post in some woman’s magazine (I have not forgotten this in 37 years and never will) wrote: The backside of a woman who wore trousers resembled the back side of a horse. (We wore short tops as there were no jobless people back then with enough free time to check the length of garments worn by girls). I was livid with rage at this allusion and wanted to ask the columnist, how he thought his own back looked while he wore trousers. I suppose it is forgivable considering that the poor fellow must never have looked in a mirror and seen his own, resembling a horse’s backside. Ignorance is indeed bliss.
9. The major responsibility of disciplining my kids which is supposed to be a totally male activity has always been mine. How many times have we heard women threatening their children with ‘Let Dad get back home’, as if the Dad were some ogre?! I wonder why they think responsibility and power rests solely with the father??! Not once in my life have I said that to my own children. Their compliance to my orders was got on my own merit. In fact I was mortified when my MIL suggested that her son coming back on a home posting meant better discipline and supervision for the kids. I almost asked the L & M to go right back.
10. I love silence and solitude, a supposedly manly trait. Excuse me while I roll my eyes and laugh amusedly at that, because I know better.
Have I sinned suitably against gender stereotyping, enough to be accepted as a respectable member of SAGS?? I fervently hope so!
Now to tag others. IHM has tagged half the blog neighborhood and they in their turn have tagged the other half. So looks like I am cursed to wear blue trousers for the next twelve years, not that I mind of course. Looking through my meager friends list, I tag
and Vivek
Ha ha ha 🙂 Ofcourse you are a sinner 🙂 If somebody said you weren’t I would have laughed and filled this comment space with lols – 🙂 lol 🙂 lol 🙂
You question, you think, you are rational, you can argue and give such appropriate response to some horse backsides (Ha ha … what makes people make such ridiculous statements?) – How sinful!
Like you, I also feel one need not fit into any stereotypes – there’s need and space for everyone in this world… everyone would be happier if we did not force individuals to confirm to stereotypes.
I am enjoying that laughter of yours! 😉 😛 🙂 I am amazed how it bothers people when someone does not conform to what they believe is the way to be. Of course different types can co-exist. Glad to have done this tag 🙂 Thanks IHM.
Nice! While many people have done this tag, yours is the only one where I saw someone openly accepting that she fulfills some of the stereotypes! That is a part of individuality too. Avoiding certain activities merely to bust stereotypes is almost as stupid as conforming to stereotypes under societal pressure!
As for that idiotic columnist, thankfully most guys including me aren’t like that. (At the risk of sounding churlish, we quite like the image of the backside of trouser-wearing woman!)
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Liberalcynic. I not only fulfill some of the stereotypes I love it as well. I agree with you, I don’t believe in busting stereotypes for its own sake rather in doing things that one likes or wants to.
Well, as regards the comment of the columnist, I am happy that there are guys like you as well, really 🙂
1. No Why for me, now…you are a total sinner !!! 🙂
2. 🙂 Thinkers are real sinners.
3. Yeah…even I read The other side of midnight by SS, hiding it inside my text book, when I was in X.
4. I know – You and your posts on driving, have inspired me to the idea of learning to drive – I am thinking of joining a class soon.
5. True true…I agree, me too.
6. What are we – total sinners huh ??? Me too…
7. Its the same here too. But once, when we installed Tata Sky, S became little curious and was with that person, when he did the demo (he literally shooed me away) !! And later, he didnt know anything. He smiled sheepishly whenever we asked anything. Of course, me and my girls learned all that in a jiffy.
8. Short tops with pants – me too like them !!!
LOL – What a ridiculous statement – Horse’s backside !!!
9. I loved the line – Their compliance to my orders was got on my own merit !!!
10. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Of course, you are a total sinner – we all knew from the time, we started reading ur blogs, becos, u think and u write what u feel !!
Shail, where’s your SAGS badge ???? Put it up in ur sidebar !!! 🙂
Done Uma. The badge is added. 🙂 Wow are we partners in sin?? 🙂 Hope you will start on those driving lessons soon! 🙂
Shail, you brought back memories. Even I have read a whole lot of good literature on the sly just because it wasnt suitable for girls my age. Backsides look like backsides …. I dont think they are gender specific ~ weird columnist!
I was in school and my parents though Anna Karenina was not for me. I was damned if that was going to stop me! Of course backsides are not gender specific. I wish I could have met that columnist and told him so. Or maybe someone did. Who knows!?
Ah Shaila..they broke the mould after they made you…cliche i know..
you want me to write about my sins..ten would be insufficient lol
Cliche or not, I won’t disagree with you on that. Well, as for sins, write as many as you want 🙂
I’ll do mine tonight… i had an odd feelign you would tag me… oh and do you have a dishwasher? COOL!
Okay Hirshi, waiting to read your take. Of course I have a dishwasher. I prefer it to any maid. 😉
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
nor be unduly bothered or worried about misplaced complaints
It is good to be oneself and break all constraints
and to live life as you please and avoid all feints.
Virtuous or not, sinners are much more fun. 🙂
“It is good to be oneself and break all constraints”
Easily said than done, eh Govind. But I try anyway, yeah I do try 🙂
Rofl!
Not that I expected anything else but the beautifully unvarnished confessions you share 😀 :D!!!
Waiting to do my tag too! Each new one of the SAGS members’ posts I read make me feel so at home in your spaces 🙂 🙂
Techie stuff? Tell me about it :D! And what about going to the automobile garage with your car? You talk tech with them, and they regard you verrrry strangely 😛 And ask if there is “someone” who has come to explain! “Saar” vannille??? LOL!
Loved reading this Shail!
I am smiling at your Rotfl, Usha. 😀 Thank you and now I am waiting to read your list.
Ahhh tell me about automobile garages. Those guys have such a low level of intelligence that they even think the clutch in your car is sensitive to the gender of the feet pressing down on it. *rolls eyes*
The best is the guy who came to repair a faulty net connection. When I insisted I needed the net to be up fast, as I was doing some work (I was helping my cousin with some English lesson preparing) he dismisses me with a, “Chatting on Yahoo, isn’t it??” CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??!! That he escaped unhurt is a mystery even to me.
Lol! Loved reading about your sins 🙂 And the comments too 🙂
Thank you Priya 🙂 Won’t you do the tag too?? 🙂
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Oh Lordy!! Well, I knew this from reading your blogs before.. but it is ticklish to see you enunciate every thing I already suspected, nay knew… To quote Jesus “I love you, because you sinned.” :P.
Lol. Thank you Rashmi! 😉 😛 🙂
“The backside of a woman who wore trousers resembled the back side of a horse. ” Hahahahahaha what a moron!
You said it. Worse than a moron I’d say. 😛
I say, he must have done a whole lot of observing of the backsides of women, women who wear trousers, and horses to even come to that comparison. he sure must have had loads of time
😛 :)))))
1) I bought a pink Tee shirt last month.. it’s got this nice rhino on it with butterfly wings which has “Fly like a butterfly” written below
2) I can cook. SUre i suck at rotis, couldn’t make them if my life depended on it.. but i make eggs, chicken, fish, paneer, dal ,rice, lots of desserts. Mom does prefer my cooking at times.
3) I wash and iron my own clothes
4) When going out, i pick my mom’s outfit out.. I just go open her cupboard and point out a dress..
5) I have different shoes for work, for gym, for outside, slippers for home, sandals for outside
6) I listen when I’m in a conversation
7) I ask for direction when i’m lost or don’t know my way
8) I like cats
Uum… are 8 enough>
Ok, so when I come visiting, I will make those rotis and you can make the rest of the stuff, paneer, fish and all 🙂
Are these on your blog yet?? Let me go check.
Not yet, was bumming the entire weekend… Tonight…Pinmky promise…
You better! Grrr……..
What? no knit brows?
A thinking sinner who lives with conviction and loves silence .. you top the sinner list 🙂 I loved the list. 🙂
Thank you Tiku 🙂 🙂
even I must confess I was laughing out loud at the 20 year old younger mans discovery !!! 😆 😆
Even my wife like you would is much better at managing the jobs at home be it repairs or purchase of gadgets… even ushus… is it a misconception that men do it better ? wonder wonder ??
Yeah I ‘wonder wonder’ too Hitchy! 😛 And glad to see you after a long time 🙂
BTW, I wonder why he didn’t think that women drive a cars to get from one point to the next just like men?!! 😉