, ,

Blogadda has started it all by asking a simple and seemingly innocent question of the blogosphere. What do women want?? With blogs mushrooming overnight and by the day too for that matter churning out answers, adding to the already humongous pile of information one would think, this tricky question has now been taken care of. Nothing could be farther from the truth. There is still no answer in sight that at least a moderate majority agrees upon.

Come to think of it, is there anything new about that?? It seems none at all, to me and not for the reasons you think either. From time immemorial men have been trying to figure out what women want and though Blogadda is not offering prizes (not as yet anyway) for answering the question on the other side of the coin, women too have wondered what it is that men want… errrr I mean apart from you know what which they make all too obvious in their rather very ‘subtle’ ways.

Personally speaking, none of the answers or theories of the past or the present impress or appeal to me in the least. All stuff and nonsense methinks. I have my own idea on the topic and right now I am going to inflict them on you, the unsuspecting public, courtesy Blogadda. And what’s more, as a bonus you are going to find the answer to the question what do men want lurking somewhere among my babbling too.

My theory starts with the statement: In spite of the fact that I have spent fifty golden years on the Planet Earth, I don’t know what women want. Ahhh….  Do I see smirks and knowing looks on the faces of the men and the women who have just read this?? What did I tell you-s and I knew it all along-s are popping up unrestrained in your brains, right?? I bet if one took a survey, the general consensus that would emerge at this point would be: Of course, women don’t know their own bally minds. Pardon me Messieurs and Mesdames, it is not good to jump to conclusions you know. Tsk tsk... Conclusions are pretty dangerous things when jumped to hastily.

I know this question may seem out of the blue and totally unrelated to the issue, but humor me: Have you noticed cattle?? All they seem to want is water, food and shelter; every single one of them, uniformly. And yet if you were to speak to their owners they will tell you interesting tales of how Ammini the cow would refuse to eat the delicious freshly cut green grass because Chellappan Nair did not have time to go and speak to her the last couple of days. At the same time next to her will be Paru nonchalantly chewing the green delicacy and least bothered about whether Chellappan Nair was around or not. If you had time for garrulous Thankamma Chechi she would fill your ears with how Vasanthi wanted her mush served just so, how Ponni wouldn’t let anyone but Kittu milk her. Oh wow, even cattle differ. And sadly enough foolish humans try to find answers to questions like what ‘women‘ want.

Before asking the question ‘what women want’ has anyone tried finding two women who are exactly alike?? In fact show me two men who are exactly alike in wants and needs. Unlike what the character Anupam Kher played in some totally forgettable movie tells his son, ‘choose from any one of the girls, son!’ because according to him ‘whether Sita, Gita or Rita they are all the same!!’ (at which the male population in the movie hall erupted in gleeful laughter of approval forgetting that much the same could be said of Ram, Lakhan and Johnny), what I feel is women (as well as men) are individuals and pretty different from each other. Our looks, wants, personality, preferences… in fact everything differs. And yet amazingly so, we try and look for common answers that fit all.

Some women want a bungalow others a cottage. One would go hungry for the sake of love; another would prefer riches to love. Some women are quiet by nature and love to be spoken to, another loves to talk and wants some one to listen. Some want to be lawyers others movie stars. One wants to sit quietly by the riverside with the love of her life, another to paint the town red with hers. Some want to teach, another to go trek or climb mountains. Some want to be famous others want to remain incognito.  Some want to be homemakers, others career women and still others both. You get the drift?? I have only touched the tip of the iceberg of the variety out there. The permutations and combination are infinite. The needs and wants are not only infinite BUT individual specific too.

The world looks askance at women and asks in exasperation, disdain, mockery, bewilderment and a lot of other emotions: What do women want?? Ask not ye what women want, ladies and gentlemen, ask ye what a woman wants. The secret is not to look at women collectively as you do at cattle. When Ammini the cow can have a personality and preferences, do you think the more evolved developed humans have any less?? And yet over time, women have been treated exactly like cattle. They are treated as one entity and branded as having the same desires, same wants and also expected to do the same things the same way. Preposterous!

The basic need for humans, women and men may be the same; food shelter, clothing (if you don’t belong to the nudist colony that is), love and affection, acceptance et al. Beyond that each of us are different. So don’t ever ask ‘What do women want??’ Look at the woman in your life, the mother, the sister, the daughter, the wife, the aunt, the cousin, the friend, the classmate, the colleague, the stranger on the street…  see the individual persons. Ask what does this woman want??

Like I admitted above, I don’t know what women want. But I certainly know what I as a woman want. So if you pause and ask the woman in your life, she may just tell you what she wants. It is up to you whether you have the time and the inclination.

This is my hurried response to Blogadda’s weekly contest: What women want in partnership with pringoo.com

Updated to add what I feel are the worthy posts on the topic from: