11 Saturday Jul 2009
Posted in poetry
I lay down my arms
The battle is lost
My allies are gone
I am left all alone
Hope was butchered
Spontaneity maimed
Dreams taken prisoners
Optimism retired hurt
A wry laughter rings
Pessimism sings
You win I lose
No need for coups
All that was mine
Is now yours
Why leave them behind
Take also these tears…
-Shail Mohan (June 2009)
Reposted from shail-mohan blogs @sulekha.com
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Hi, Shail. I like the way the short lines work to catapult the reader forward…with a gait like a fractured, ironic nursery rhyme (if that makes any sense). ~ Tim
Me: Thanks Tim. That’s interesting, a gait like a fractured, ironic nursery rhyme! 🙂
Hi Shail
truly captivating verse. loved it. simple yet highly effective.. keep sharing
Me: Thanks Tikuli 🙂
I thought that I commented on this. Am I being a pair of nerds? (or paranoid)
Were my comments removed because they were not appropriate enough. Are people laughing at my remarks, my thinking, my punctuation, my nerve in coming here? Do they think that I suffer from the residue of electro-shock therapy, the inability to express a thought, the habit of missing transitions, or understating generalizations.
Do they see me a a former Marx brother or a member of George Bush’s cabinet? How long can I go on?
Where is the doormat of welcome? Where is it?
Where are my comments? Is it possible that I didn’t write them. me of writer motivation par large volume?
Me: OMG Bob, you are making me laugh!! Lol, you had not commented here, but you commented on this somewhere else! *still smiling at Bob’s comment* 😛
Kickass !
Me: Thanks! 🙂
But hope should have been kept alive.
Me: Hmmm… yeah maybe new shoot will sprout 🙂
Is it not a blunder
to even think of plunder
when willingly I surrender
tearing my heart asunder?
A victory for the vanquished over the raider.
Me: 🙂
heart wrenching Shail.
Me: Thanks Indy
Hi Shail! Can’t resist not to pay a visit here….
“All Yours” is very catching!
Missing you! {{{hugs}}} ^_^
Me: Hey Richette, nice to see you here. Thanks! Hugs back at ya. 🙂
P.S.
I just wonder why my flag next to my name is Australia….What happened to Philippine Flag??? Big wonder…???
Me: *wondering too*
Awesome, the close!
Me: Thanks Usha, those my fav lines too. 🙂