It’s the ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ that gets to me all the time. If your antennae are picking up signals of a plaintive note in that sentence, you will be dead right. This ‘H’ with all those squiggly little ‘i-s’ following closely behind like that gregarious Uncle at a family get together, with a bunch of little nephews and nieces tagging along in a game of Train-Train, irritates me no end. I mean what the heck! Won’t a plain ‘Hi’ do?? Doesn’t a solitary ‘i’ after the ‘H’ convey the essential?? It is not as if it is some long lost friend, like the one who shared the same wooden bench with you beneath the thatched roof of the mud-walled old village school you went to, has just found you after donkeys ears. If the ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ had come from such a friend I would have appreciated it. But coming from unknown nincompoops, who don’t know you from Eve it has me rolling my eyes and reaching for the nearest red brick with intent to harm.
I joined Orkut a couple of years back being invited by some fellow blogger friends. I used to look in casually now and then to exchange a few words with them. It has always been my hope that I would chance upon some old classmate from schooldays or even college which hope made me retain the account. Chances though looked (still does) slim. No, it’s not because I have changed (read aged) beyond recognition. In fact those who have known me from my diaper days say that I have the same chubby face that I had as a toddler and that I sport the same vacuous grin. The only difference is, the grin now displays several molars (and some pre molars too) wearing stylish silver caps.
By the way the dentist, the know-it-all teeth-man, wanted me to trade in the silver caps for the latest in teeth cap technology, which according to him ‘look like original teeth’!! (Ooops! I hope he is not a blogger or even a lurker!) I went ‘Whaaaaat??’ He probably thought it was the bill that made me go all saucer-eyed. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I had more important issues on my mind. Lose my trade mark grin with all those silver capped molars (and premolars) on show??!! Not in a thousand years, errr ….or whatever is left of my share of it.
He is crazy if he thinks I am going to let go of my silver caps for something however latest the technology that will make it ‘look like original teeth’! Egad, I’d lose my very identity with them gone. As of now, people recognize me even at a distance in matter of seconds just by the light reflecting off my silver capped molars (and pre molars of course). What does he know of the pride and thrill I feel when little children point with curiosity and clap with glee on seeing my silver-capped teeth. They want me to open my mouth wider so they can have a better look at the sparklies and do they sparkle or what?!. They then go ggugguggu and also ggaggagga to their Moms, probably asking them if they could have a set like mine, all shiny, when the time comes!
Omigosh I have done it again. Digressed and how! How did I come to talk about silver capped molar (and pre molars) when I was on the subject of the Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii -ing public at Orkut??!!
So there I was at Orkut hoping to find a few of my long lost buddies. But instead I have nincompoops scrapping me ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ by the handfuls followed by the inevitable, “Can we chat??” ‘Oh no buddy I don’t have time for chat,’ I used to reply civilly once upon a time, the babe-in-the- woods (or net??) that I was. “Then why are you on the net??” came the return question one day. More such irrefutable logic started flowing my way. Oh yeah?? Oh double triple yeah??
So I designed a profile page for myself, not mincing words, to keep at bay all the members of the come-lets-chat-and-rejoice gang. What’s my objection to chatting you may ask. None at all, except for the fact that I am ill-equipped to deal with these brilliant conversationalists, their praiseworthy logic and assumptions. Awww come on now. We all know where what begins with but a ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ ends. As a self respecting individual I resent strongly this belief among some of the species that a woman on the net is a lonely starved specimen at whom you just have to ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ to have her follow you into the glorious sunset of ‘fraindship’! But who was I kidding. The ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’ guys were all bally illiterates unaffected by the words that I hadn’t minced while creating that profile page and the literate ones kept a safe distance out of respect (or awe??)!! Hmmm…
There was this guy who sent me an invite. I dutifully trotted over to his page to check and what do I find?? He has lifted sentences right off my page. “I am NOT interested in chatting” it read “I am sure NOT is a simple and easily understood word. I am NOT interested in chatting or increasing my friends list, Anyone who scraps or sends invite better give me a reason or tell me what if anything we have in common” Hmmmm… what else has the fellow copied, I wondered. So I continued reading and (excuse me while I roll on the floor laughing out loud (you may too, but after reading this) against ‘Passions’ he had written “Chaaaaaaaatttttttttttiiiiiiiiiing…………….!!!!!!” See what I mean?? How can I handle the pressure of conversations with such bright minds??
The copying saga doesn’t stop here though. Recently there was another invite and as usual I trotted over to check. Actually its fun, this getting invites and trotting over to check. Sure enough I found (again) the page adorned with sentences filched from my profile page. “I don’t have time for the idiot box, but when I do watch TV, I prefer the music talent shows” I had written. The fellow had faithfully copied it. Look at the cheek. Copy from my page and then invite the very person to be their friend. Have some sense kiddos, don’t copy from those you intend inviting!
There was this guy who asked me why I used a picture of myself from twenty years back. Grrr… what the heck! Ahh well, on second thoughts ‘Vanity thy name is woman (Just a little twist there to your ‘Frailty thy name is woman….” Shakespeare ji do forgive me!) and all that, so I took it as a compliment, of course not letting him know that I did so. Or else he would want to be my ‘fraind’ and how would I scale the intellectual heights needed to sustain a conversation with him?? Poor me. If only I had it in me, I would have been showered with more such compliments and ‘frainds’!
Then there are the innumerable movie stars who want to be my orkut buddies. They ‘scrap’ me all the time. Mohanlal, Sharukh Khan, Shahid Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan…. And sometimes a Kareena Kapoor, Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit too. Ahhh I see skepticism on your faces when you read this. You think I am making tall claims. But believe me you, there are even more well known faces who scrap me, but they daren’t show their faces or let the public know and so hide behind blank profiles. Sadly, I am incapable of the pressures of being ‘frainds’ with them either. So I simply decline to accept their mobile numbers and their offers of ‘eternal’ ‘fraindship’!
It has been an enlightening experience at Orkut. People of all ages can be found there. Many of the older men are fathers who have followed their wards ‘to keep an eye’ on them and then got hooked to it themselves. All those pretty faces have done them all in!! Mothers of course who have followed their kids ‘to keep an eye’ on them are fewer in number. Some of the mothers are only vaguely familiar with the term ‘orkut’ as just something the children keep referring to. ‘You mean you are over there too??’ they ask me in puzzled tones. They just cannot fathom what I am doing over there where these youngsters congregate.
All in all I have had a wonderful time (and still do) at Orkut making friends as also connecting with family members living at a distance who I would otherwise have met only on rare occasions or not at all. The young nephews and nieces know me and so do a whole lot of cousins, distant ones too. But I am yet to find any of those classmates I am looking for. Maybe one of these days I will….
Reposted from shail-mohan blogs @ sulekha.com
I know what you mean. One of my experiences had turned real nasty too, back during the days when I was kinda green to this orkuting. So now, no more adventures for me. I strictly forbid any stranger to be my friend. Hmm..a good oxymoron that – friendly stranger 😀
Me: Lol @ friendly stranger. I am suspicious of every stranger who scraps, till I am satisfied of their bonafides. There was this woman (or man in woman;s name) who scrapped me as if she is a long lost friend asking me for my yahoo id to chat since she could not access orkut in office. Lol. they try all the tricks in the book. And I am amazed at the confidence of some giving out their phone numbers so sure you would call them. Probably there are many who do, or else would they?? 😛 Anyway I am happy interacting with those who comment here on the blogs. Thanks Roopa.
Lol, Shail.. 🙂 I did check your profile too 🙂 *giggle giggle*! And though I am a little younger at Orkut [not really, otherwise, 😀 !], Perhaps a year and a half old there, where, my sons very reluctantly admitted me, the younger one fearing the worst, a Mama on the prowl in the virual world :D!
However the self same interactions you speak of so entertainingly are what greet a person. In fact at one of the class meetings, with parents of Class 9 when I spoke of Orkut and how it had to be monitored, thier wards’ using it, there were many so clueless about it!
Personally I have looked upon it with trepidation, not for myself, but for those young children who use it! Still no matter what one tells them, they will land up there, such is the pull of Orkut!
Beautifully articulated as always, Shail 🙂
Me: As for me, my sons woke up to find me there one fine day! 😛 I know there are quite young children roaming un-monitored in Orkut. I remember peeking into the page of a potential ‘fraind’ who had sent an invite and was horrified to find a girl giving out not only talking of herself but giving out details of all her family members!! And the man was posing as someone from the television industry scouting for promising faces. What an old-old line!!!!! There is a lot wrong with our upbringing. There is a lack of communication or openness in dealing with kids. And preparation of food takes up so much time. Feeding or rather stuffing the family with food seems the main concern of average women and they feel their duty is done. Sad!!
Shail, this is with reference to your query in your response on my post ” Naughty Wishes”
world is so small, I not only know Capt Vijay but have served with him in ‘Three Dogra’ for good about four years in Nagaland and Trivandrum. He was our Adjutant and the leader of us bachelors at Trivandrum. Please read my post ” Sound of V ” under the lebel ‘subtle humour’ which carries a mention about how he used to mis spell my name puting ‘W’ in stead of ‘V’ against my wihes.
I have lost touch with him of late. Must be a Major General or a Brigadier now. I will find out and will let you know about his present where abouts.
Thanks for the comment on “Naughty Wishes” where very few people have left their comment — may be due to sublte Army humour.
You always manage to crack me up,Shail.Hilarious post…LOL!I agree these orkut invites can be quite a pain in the b**t!I too joined Orkut to look for my long-lost school friends.And I must say Orkut has been a boon in that aspect.I’ve come in contact with a lot of my friends who I had thought I would never meet or talk in my lifetime once I passed out of school.
Me: Hehehe Deeps, glad to have you laughing! 😛 Good that you could connect with friends at orkut. But people in my age group seem to be missing! 😉
Ha..ha..ha Shail. You are hilarious! Orkut is still a scary place as compared to I guess Facebook.
I think I am the only one who has stayed away from all these networking sites. My friends call me 30 but ancient woman!
They have pestered me to no end and yet I have never tried any. Perhaps because I am a lazy bone when it comes to chatting. I rarely login to my yahoo chat. Just recently discovered Gmail chat (Thanks to Usha).
Me: Just the opposite of what friends call me I guess, old but young!! Orkut has some weirdos, but its ok. Unless we change the mindset of people and allow the sexes to mix, I guess this is a hazard we have to face at such sites!
Thanks Solilo. Glad to have you laughing!!
Shail, you should take the old maxim ‘imitation is the best form of flattery’ and keep going,ignoring the ignoramuses.Physiologically, being angry increases your heart rate,constricts your blood vessels and increases the blood pressure.So for your own sake take a deep breath and let go. A good post as always.
Me: Thanks PRG. I am now taking a deep breathe in and letting go. 😛 There goes my anger. BTW my anger quotient, says an online test, is way down at 17%. It also enlightens me that the fact that I don’t get worked up enough makes people angry with me!! *Boo hoo* Can it get any worse than this?? *sniff sniff*
Thanks for the laugh, Shail! Loved your post- especially the digresses!
I have tried both Orkut and FaceBook. I did not like the experience.
It feels too public on such forums. I know a blog is public, too,- but somehow it seems different. Or maybe I’m just getting old? 🙂
Me: Thanks Manju, always glad to give a good laugh. Hmm… after Salil, you are the one who likes the digressions! 😛 Hmm… depends, each of us have our likes and dislikes. How do you like it at Shelfari??
I just sent you a BIG ‘Hiiiiiiiiii’ friendly request on Orkut ;-)))))
Me: And that Hiiiiiiiiiii is accepted Pal! 😛 😉
Lol! You’ve captured the essence of Orkuttin in this one Shail! Brilliant… Btw, the digression made me go eoowwww…
And you know what the smart ones at Orkut did when they found that too many of their male species resorted to “Hiiiiiiii” which caused the females to loose interest in Orkut (like you above), they became bloggers and now here they are writing intelligent posts and dropping ‘smarty pants’ comments on other blogs 😉 Now it doesn’t feel that cheap – Does it? he he
No, no don’t look at me 😛
Me: Am now laughing at you going eoowwww at the digression, Rakesh! 😛
Well well well, of course the smart ones turn bloggers and leave ‘smarty pants’ comments. I wish the ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiii’ crowd would learn such classy tactics!! :-)))))
I have my share of funny instances on Orkut too. specially with request “frnzzz?” or demand “Me want fried” (yes I had this “me want fried?”) or direct order “give me ur frendsheep!!”… and as time went by, I even stopped replying them.
and there was this MORON… who copied the whole “about me section” and politely scrapped me… I have copied ur “abt me” hope u dint mind” 😥 I DID MIND! but I was too disturbed to say anything to him.
Me: Hello Purnima, welcome to my page. The ‘fried’ was too good ! Hehehe… and yes the direct order made me ROFL. Really, Orkut does give you a laugh!! Lifting your ‘about me’ seems a common practice!! :O
Orkut ya, I had deleted my first profile after very many scraps and then under social pressure I did re create a account but this time, Its a secret 🙂
Me: Hmmm… secret?? Then we’ll have to ferret it out, eh Chirag?! 😛
Hey shail…i am lovin ur posts more n more each day!! 🙂 thank you for sharin! i joined orkut for de heck of it..n happened to meet up all de ex-schoolmates i had the chance to learn wi (hvin shuffled schools all over!!)n more importantly it got me n my Mr.pea closer(no, no..we dint “meet” at orkut!!But de discussions abt profile edits, photos, communities n blah blah, did get us more intimate!! hehe)…n i found some very special people in der too…a mom too 🙂 hehehe!! so i reeli adore orkut, despite f any flaws itz supposed to be havin!! 🙂
Me: Thank you Sashu! *takes a bow* Orkut sure is fun. especially so as it gives me something to blog about! 😉 I have led a nomadic life right from my childhood, so I hope too to find long lost buddies there.
Fun read, n now I’m thinkin I should send you an Orkut “fraandship” request, just to know your take on it.. =]
Me: Lol eMJay, waiting for your ‘fraandship’ request! 😛 Glad you enjoyed the read.
Well Shaila I am a “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” guy…i type it when i am happy to see the person i like. I think we do that in real life too …the length of our hi’s depending on the person at the receiving end. Hilarious blog….Orkut is a great site for finding long lost friends and i am lucky to have found some.
Me: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Vivek. See, I do it too when I am happy to see the person I like! 😛 😉
Hmmm… do you mean the Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-s I have been receiving depend on me??!! :O
Biju Mathews said:
Ha Ha. Shail, this is an uproarious post. The smile on my face never left me 🙂
It may be a good idea to put in the name of your school and college so that people can search. You may also find communities!!
TC and keep blogging!
Me: Thank you Biju *takes a bow* I have my school and college details added. The problem does not lie there. People in my age group (read ‘ancient’) don’t seem to be that net savvy. And I am already in school and coollege communities were I find all the youngsters. They come to check on who this Methuselah is who is lives among this predominantly young community!! 😦
Thats a great blog I must say, wonder where I was.In fact there are different types of Hi’s that peope use. Hai, Hiiiiiiiiii, and various other varients. Being a male and that too an older version doesnt get me many or rather any hiiiiiiii’s from either sex. Nor do I have the frequent visits from the Filmy crowd desi or otherwise, male or female Thank God for that. I too had a feeling that I would bump into old classmates from a few decades back which would warrant a hiiiiiiii but no way. The colleges and years when and where I studied have been started as communities by me, with
only myself as a member. Sigh what has happened to these worthies
I wonder, are they net illiterates, or consider Orkutting as childs play below their dignity to indulge in? Anyway my experience is similar to yours. About your silvery smile I have yet to see one shining star. Maybe its time I updated my glasses (refer to my old blog about starting on spectacles)
Maybe when I see you its not like seeing any other person where only
the physical matters. When blog friends meet the long history of their blogs are bigger than the physical appearance of the person hehehe, that way the blogs are sometimes bigger than the blogger? You are right blogging and commenting are far greater than the “hi this and that ” which is found in Orkut and in the chat
Thank you for a wonderful blog.
Jacob, you missed catching a glimpse of the (famed) silver molars! Or did the glint from them blind you?? ROTFLOL. BTE it is true, the long history of their blogs is a huge presence when blog friends meet! 😛 Here is wishing you Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-s from filmy and non-fimlmy personalities of all ages, shapes and sizes! 😉 😛
Kislay Chandra said:
Great post . 🙂 Hilarious . Here’s something I wrote about friand’s and friandship requests . Jilted Lovers .
Kislay, thanks for dropping by. I found your post hilarious. The messages are typical of the onee you receive at orkut and your comments to each funny! But the link you have given is not working!
Great one ! had missed this one it seems … Now Orkut security settings help people to restrict those “Hiiiiiiiiiiii”s 😀 and alas ! No movie star ever wished to be my friend on Orkut 😉
Me: Yeah the new settings do that. But if you cut off ALL avenues for others to contact you, there is no point in staying in a social networking site. I hope to find old friends or people I know. Once I found someone on orkut, but could neither scrap or message the person. I felt so frustrated. It was like ‘so near yet so far’
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LOL!! Shail this had me in splits! 😀
dont ask me why I still hang in there..on both sites fcbook and Orkut 😀
I just do..and someday I will delete the accounts
oh and Shail?
Me: 😛 There goes Indy Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ing! Pssst, I am there at both places too. Gives me a good laugh at times and also fodder for posts! 😛 😉 Lol.
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Quite an old post there. I am guessing you no longer check orkut anymore! But i think you have been largely spared by the frandship freaks. some of my friends who get those – hilarious.
Hi sweety. I love your eyes. Do you want to make franship? We will go on cycle ride to farm outside my house. please come my bad.
thats just starting! 🙂
@Vineet, Welcome to Shail’s Nest. Of course I have my orkut account and do check it too because it amuses me no end to see such ‘frandship’ requests. 🙂 So you think asking to go on a cycle ride is hilarious?? How about this and this then?? 😛 😉
Hmm… perhaps I should make a compilation of the ‘frandship requests instead of writing a funny blog??!! 😉 😆
G Vishwanath said:
Its late Friday evening and I thought of catching up with some of your old posts this weekend.
Orkut never tempted me and I survived this fad.
Then came Facebook and I was amused at the hype this generated.
I was indifferent to it for over a year.
After some persuasion from a friend, I finally opened a Facebook account and closed it within a week. It had the potential to became a nuisance for me.
I am just not made for this kind of networking.
Instead I prefer to participate in Yahoo group forums where I post an email message and it is accessed by all group members. I am a member of several such special interest groups connected with my profession, my community, my hobbies etc. I find this mode of socializing non intrusive and I prefer it.
My most recent method of internet socializing is to read and comment on blogs that I find worth reading. I am always on the lookout for good blogs to read in both English and Hindi. Blogs of foreigners are off limits for me. I am unable to relate to them. Indian blogs are what I prefer and I have zeroed in on a few of them to add to my daily diet of reading. (Yours is the latest)
In this mode of internet socializing, I get to pick and choose who I want to interact with via their blogs. Their writings enable me to size them up and I am choosy. I normally don’t read or follow anonymous bloggers. IHM is an exception. I am not a regular blogger myself. I don’t have a web site of my own but on specific invitation from blogger friends, I have written guest postings which they host on their blog sites.
I also write and receive a lot of emails from friends and relatives.
I kept in touch with my daugther who lives abroad through Yahoo Chat and later Skype but ever since overseas phone calls became cheaper, I gave up Yahoo chat and Skype altogether.
Who needs Orkut or Facebook? Not I.
I have had funny experiences with yahoo groups I find most of them filled with junk mail. I had joined a few music groups long back. Then I discovered blogs and that was it. From then on its blogs for me. But I am a member in social networking sites. It helps me keep in touch with friends and family besides letting me post links to my latest post for any one interested but too lazy to check my website 🙂 🙂
Thank you for the interest shown in reading old posts of mine. 🙂
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