#FOWC, challenge, first person, FOWC, humor, postaday, third person, tongue in cheek, tongue-in-cheek
Yesterday I was asked to write a few words about myself. Not a difficult thing. After all who knows me better than I myself? The ‘few words’ constraint notwithstanding, I was all ready to do the needful when I hit a snag. It had to be written in the third person.
Why????? I silently writhed in protest on coming to know of the rider. Not fair. If you want something about me in the third person, ask a third person to do it, I wanted to say. I didn’t though. I know it’s the norm, writing about oneself as if they were words coming from a third person. Silly idea, if you ask me.
Silently cursing those unknowns who had come up with such stipulations, I got down to it anyway. If the third person rule and word limit weren’t bad enough, there were more riders to the exercise. There were some absolutely- have- to- fill in facts about myself to be included. Boring stuff. I mean, who cares what my qualifications are? I am not applying for a job. Does my degree really matter?
I spent hours writing, rewriting, deleting, writing, rewriting, deleting… Oh well, you get the drift. Should I lace it with humor? Something like: Shail likes to call a spade a spade, but life has taught her that calling it a magic wand was a better idea to not ruffle feathers. Or here’s another one: Shail is innately curious and seeking by nature, but unlike the proverbial cat, it has not killed her, not yet.
Nah. No one’s going to get that sort of humor. I wrote and rewrote some more. Counted words, removed some, added others. Was this too light and frothy? Was this next one too staid and boring? If I had any hair worth pulling out, I would have at that point. But having recently got a hair cut – crew cut to be precise – I had none left to pull out.
I decided to leave it for the moment and go take a shower. Standing under the falling water has always given birth to new ideas for blog posts, short stories and verse. So why not a bio in the much disliked third person? I could utilize the shower’s refreshing effect on the gray cells to come up with something worthwhile.
Lost in thought, trying out one intro after another in my head, I soaped myself, then washed the suds off me. Reaching for the soap, I started over again and stopped, unsure of which phase I was in the bath cycle. Wait a minute. Hadn’t I already done the soaping once? Or hadn’t I? I tried to smell myself. Soap or sweat? This was confusing. Oh what the heck, I will just do it once more in case I hadn’t already. But what if it was already the third time?
I tell you, these third persons are tricky whatchamacallits. That’s why I prefer the first person any day. 😉
© Shail Mohan 2020
Update: Yay! My arm/shoulder is so much better which fact you must have realized already by the length of the post. 😉
Mister Bump UK said:
Write it in the first person. Then, when you are absolutely happy, convert it. That last bit should be a mechanical exercise.
Yes. That’s what I tried to do eventually 🙂
I hate it when bloggers create an “about” page and write it in third person. It always comes across as pretentious, in my opinion. And I also hate it when Donald Trump speaks of himself in the third person. “Donald Trump is the least racist person in the world.” Third person or first person, it’s still a big, fat lie.
I agree with you completely. Pretentious., that is just how I find them too.
I know someone else over here who has a penchant for speaking about himself in the third person. Gawd. They are all so alike in many ways.
It is good to hear of your recovery. It is pleasing to hear of Shail’s recovery. Shail is pleased to announce the extent of her recovery!
Haha, Anne. Love your comment. Or should I say, ‘Shail loves Anne’s comment’? 😁
The third person has always struck me as a pretentious way to write. Unless of course it’s in Shakespeare, that makes it okay. Glad to hear that your arm is better now!
Thank you. And I agree. At least on a book cover it looks like someone else wrote about you, but on a blog? Seriously pretentious.
Did the shower inspire you to wash away all you had previously written
Along with the soap, and I had to start afresh. 🙂
And the Irony- When little children speak in third person like “Mysoul wants to eat jelebis.” we correct them to teach them to say “I want to eat jelebis” and now we need to go back? Hah! BTW, Mysoul is very glad that your arm is so much better. 😀
Lol. I never thought of that. We do correct children, don’t we!
Thank you. Shail is glad that Mysoul is glad. Hahaha!
Ken Powell said:
I know your pain as I have to do the 3rd person bio bit all the time!
Thank you, Ken!