being myself, musings, myself, NaBloPoMo2016, personal, self
Many times it happens, the very traits that attracted two people to each other turn into sore points when they start living together, or even during the time of getting to know one another better.
The way someone lisps, or raises a cocky brow, the way they drink soup, fuss about setting the table or insist on writing in the diary before going to bed, skip while walking, wear their stole a particular way… in fact just about anything that is considered adorable once could just as easily turn into something annoying that makes tempers flare. That brushing hair off the face every so often which looked oh-so-cute could well be the irritant and be met with an angry, ‘For God’s sake, can’t you tie up your hair or pin it up?’
This phenomenon is not confined to romantic relationships alone. Any and all connections fall under its purview. What attracts and bring any two people together, sooner or later puts them off. Not a must, but it happens a LOT.
Take my case. Being passionate about things and speaking my mind is what has drawn people to me, at least on my blog, definitely not in real life. Wow, they say stating the obvious, you speak your mind and you are passionate about your convictions. They even follow it up with requests to be friends on Facebook. Then one fine day I ‘speak my mind’ about something they said or shared. Isn’t that what speaking your mind means? You state your opinion without fear or favor whether friend or foe.
But something strange happens next.
Suddenly I become persona non grata precisely for speaking my mind. The same traits that were admired are now my fault lines. They then proceed to tell me I should chill, take things easy, leave it, forget, blah, blah, blah, blah and blah. In short what they want is for me to ‘kill’ my essence, the real me, and be like them, insipid, colorless, NEUTRAL.
But here’s the problem: That is not the real me. But who cares. It seems the real me is no longer in demand. They want a watered down version of Shail that suits their perspective. Like hell will they get it. And when it is clear that they won’t, they fall away like leaves in autumn.
Not that I mind.
Look to your right. You’ll see a quote by Cyril Connolly: “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” It is something I totally believe in. I’ll tweak it a bit and add: I’d rather be myself and have no friends than have friends and no self. And what’s more, I mean it.
©Shail Mohan 2016
Day 27 NaBloPoMo 2016
That’s our Shail, standing tall and strong
No pulling punches, going hammer and tong
Nobody can kill
Her spirit and will
And nobody should want to, whether right or wrong!
Sheila M. Good, Author said:
I agree 100% percent with you. Take me or leave me but I am no one’s puppet. You go girl! @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
Thank you, Sheila 🙂 Yeah, no puppets, us!
That’s how humanity works usually. People love other people who have opinions and speak them loudly. Until THEIR opinion is different, then its all “Sit quietly in the corner and keep your opinions to yourself.”
You are absolutely right. Thank you for the comment, Nona. 🙂
Know what you mean. It can be a bit lonely but definitely the better way to live, in my (often stated) opinion. Another saying that I love and that husband has on his desk is
“To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
//lonely but definitely a better way to live// This. Yes!
And the saying is thought provoking.
“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” It is something I totally believe in. I’ll tweak it a bit and add: I’d rather be myself and have no friends than have friends and no self. And what’s more, I mean it.”
Yup!!! Absolutely agreed. It’s always better to be yourself and be who you are. It’s what makes everyone unique and different. However, this so called “society” thinks they can dictate how people’s personalities should be and likes to shame and ridicule if people do not match the specific expectations, making it seem like they are just abnormal. Hence I think it’s a reason why people change themselves just to please the society and fit in, to avoid being treated like an outcast. It’s sad because sometimes they don’t realize the inner beauty they do have and possess if they just become themselves rather than just pretending and trying hard to be part of a specific group. It’s like acceptance, tolerance and love is never accepted and that it’s ok to spit ridicule for those who are “different” from one another.
Masks are so common that people have forgotten to be themselves 😦
Oohhoooo….someone really got it 😉 Hope they read this post!
I am sure they have 😉
Been there, felt that and reacted more or less the same way!
I echo what Uma said: I hope they read it! If they don;t, you should even go ahead and make sure they do 😛
It’s for this exact same reason (and advises of “chill, take things easy, leave it, forget, blah, blah, blah, blah and blah.”) that I wrote about that whole Dileep-Kavya issue…and then when I wasn’t too sure they’d read it on my blog, I also went ahead and posted it on FB (since my blog isn’t linked to my FB page)…and it was duly read 😀 I am at peace.
Lol. I think they have. My blog is linked to Facebook 😀