There is a lot of stuff floating around on how one should look beyond and beneath a frown, a sharp retort, the short-tempered outbursts, even a bullying punch on your nose if it comes to that, and try and see the vulnerable human heart hidden behind all the negativity. Results of pressures of a hard life, loneliness, hunger for love and acceptance, feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure, and a lot of other stuff, you are told.
Well, I certainly am not denying any of it.
I am not only for do-not-hurt-vulnerable-hearts but also for do-not-hurt-ANY-heart approach in life. Sympathy, empathy, support, a helping hand, a shoulder to cry, a smile to lift spirits… these are what make us humans in the real sense. Right?
Yup, there is always a ‘but’ to everything, isn’t it? And it pops up without fail, especially so if I am involved in it in any way. Jokes apart, how many of you have ever been exhorted to look beyond a cheerful countenance in a similar manner and ‘see’ a heart, leave alone a vulnerable one? Very few I am afraid.
Surely it is not just the the bullies, the short-tempered, the morose, and cribbers-par-excellence who have a heart, or have had it tough in life? I have on good authority (and personal experience) that Tough Life is not discriminatory in the least. It gives tough times (what else?) to the cheerful, polite and the good mannered too.
In spite of what many ignoramuses believe, nobody, just NOBODY, has ever been served anything on a platter in life (and I doubt if the status quo is going to change any time soon in the future). Some people take responsibility for themselves and their feelings, some others take the easy way out and
terrorize shout at all and sundry for what they are going through.
What is sad.
A large chunk of the population believes it is okay for others to bear the brunt of their own frustrations in life. These include fathers, mothers, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, bosses, co-workers, teachers, students, friends, vendors, tailors, sellers, buyers, roadside romeos, distant relatives, total strangers, in short, practically every kind. Example: Father comes home from office, shouts at either Mother or children. Why? The Boss had shouted at him. Now why did the Boss shout? Perhaps his ulcers were acting up or his son just emptied his bank account of a couple of million, or whatever. You get the drift. This is nothing but a game of Pass your Frustrations Along.
Do you know what (I think) is even sadder? Those ‘others’ at the receiving end (and also those unrelated) fondly remarking, “‘Tis true that (s)he has a temper, but has a golden heart too!’ This is a common enough sentiment bandied about a lot, especially by those who have a soppy clueless quote for every situation in life.
First the person dumps negative feelings on others close to them or those who are unlucky enough to cross their path, who by the way are totally unrelated to the issues that’s bothering them, and then once (s)he has got it off the chest on such innocent people as they could find, they try to make amends to assuage their own feelings of guilt (with sweet words/whatever bribes can be managed) and get to be called golden-hearted too?!
What sort of golden heart is it which first carelessly/willfully makes cuts and then applies balm? So what about those who don’t ever do that, those who go through life with a sunny disposition, keeping their tempers safely in check, to be lost only when confronted with the concerned persons/issue? Let alone being called golden-hearted, is it even acknowledged that they have a bally heart?
Isn’t it amazing how those who refrain from dumping their negative feelings on others and instead choose with dignity to smile their way through life are many a time (too many, if you ask me) insultingly, and with ill-concealed envy, dismissed as products of a charmed and lucky existence?
Lucky existence, my foot.
Looking beyond and beneath is not for meant only for those who ‘declare’ their losses so to speak, but also for those who don’t. Everyone has lives and NONE have it easy always. Don’t let the noise some people make prevent you from having eyes for the silent others.
So, have you looked beyond/beneath a smile today?
©Shail Mohan 2015