Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and today morning I came across someone congratulating someone else’s mother for bringing up such a phenomenal person as her. Nothing really wrong in crediting parents for how the children have turned out, and perhaps in this case the person even knew the mother-daughter duo personally.
And yet, it made me think.
What about those many who had to struggle to become who they are with no help from parents other than stiff opposition every step of their way as they walked life’s path? Yes, parents do that you know (and surprise, surprise!), mothers too. What if you walk up to such a person and start attributing all they are in the present to the mother and/or father?
We are not clay dolls that our parents perfected in some mould they own, but our own persons who have a part in shaping ourselves. More importantly, many were broken being poured and set in those very moulds and had to mend the cracks themselves in the process of growing up.
It is good to remember some of us are who we are in spite of upbringing.
©Shail Mohan 2015
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Shail's Nest 
A wise counselor once advised a mum
“You ain’t responsible for what kids become,
After age twenty
No longer their sentry”
So yes, we make us — beautiful or bum!
Thank you, Gulshan 🙂
I have similar thoughts. Not everyone grows up in similar circumstances 🙂 Very well written.
Very few people acknowledge that, sadly so.
I agree! I can never take credit for what my boys are or become. It’s their own hard work and motivation that take them places or not!
Hopefully, I will remember this when the time comes! 🙂
Same here, Roshni. And then there is the matter of children from the same home turning out to be different in many ways. So it definitely is not all about upbringing alone.
Beautiful and wise words!–Patti
Thank you, Patti 🙂
NIcely said. Most parents I know comment on the completely different personalities of their children, their different interests, etc etc – none of which they can attribute to anything they did as parents.
(I came here via NaBloPoMo, only to find you – like me – also do #MicroblogMondays!)
How true. I myself marvel at the difference in personalities and interests of my own children.
Glad to know you do #MocroblogMondays too! 🙂
I agree,
But I honestly feel we should grateful that our moms have done their best to make sure we are capable and independent to come across any challenges by supporting us, and guide to where we become good people and don’t go the wrong path. I do at least with my mom and she deserves credit and the utmost respect for providing for us though she may be a little crazy at times. At the same time, I side with you that all parents need to let their kids get a dose of life, make mistakes and learn to get around it. In a way, having your own life experiences is the main thing that molds you of who you are. I went through a certain period of trials and tribulations and believe me, I learned a lot and my horizons have broadened. I feel we as parents are there to help and support you, and give pointers to help you make right choices to help you become you (and no not in the sense where parents mold their kids according to their wishes and desires and thus have complete control of them) ..again which we all should be thankful for.
There you go! 🙂 The whole point here is that some children grow up without that support from parents.
last sentence…|thumbs up|
Thank you, Saya 🙂
Absolutely! Some people are the amazing people they are, despite the parenting they’ve had!
Trust you to always get what I write, Smitha! 🙂
I agree with you, here, Shail! My parents brought up 5 children. All of us are entirely different from each other. Children who had guts to come up in life did so, others stayed behind..no motivation, no will power.
Yes, children from the same home grow up different. I have noticed that too 🙂
That is an excellent point. Our good points and bad points are sometimes our own doing and not the work of anyone else.
Exactly. Thanks for dropping in, Mel. 🙂
I think the contribution is 50-50. Parents give the foundation of concepts and ideologies in the formative years (0-6 yrs) later on what a child picks up and converts that into his/her being is a different story…
so yes, it is not only parents but the person too.. its both sides effort!
But what about those children who got all the wrong things as their share of 50% and had to reshape their lives on their own? I am talking of them 🙂
Yes I am talking abt them as well… and I agree with ur POV.. what kids pick from what they get and what they make out of it is the final outcome… in either case 🙂
Good point. I think it really does take a village. I was blessed with good parents. But also, good friends, good teachers, etc. I can’t thank just one or two people for helping me turn out the way I did.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. 🙂 Thank you for your comment. A village and a lot of grit for those without the necessary support.
I totally agree with you, Shail.
🙂 Thank you for reading.