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I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The 4th in the list is a letter to ‘Your sibling (or closest relative)’


Dear Siblings,

One day a friend of mine asked if we siblings ever quarreled. No, she was not talking of the times of childhood but of adulthood. I was nonplussed. Why would we, as sensible adults? I tried to imagine a scenario where we would go at it hammer and tongs. I couldn’t for the life of me come up with one. So I asked her if she could tell me why she had fights with her sibling.

It seems she criticized her sibling on the way she dressed, and was in turn criticised about her hair style or whatever. They poked their respective noses into the way each others children were brought up, gave unasked advice freely, which was clearly resented. Words ensued and they ended up walking away in a huff.

For good (and I mainly think of it as good), or bad, this never happens with us because of the space we give each other. We share the good times when we meet, but keep off the turf otherwise in other matters. I believe ours is a more mature approach than getting into fights, but of course I am willing to concede to each his/her own. Personally, I wouldn’t last a minute in a quarreling relationship. So it has all been for the good for us.

Then of course the the world has examples galore of fights of the more serious kind, about who the parents’ favor, and who got the better land, or more money, more gold, you name it. We have seen it all happening around us while growing up. Luckily we have been mature enough to be above such petty squabbles as well, so far anyway. And no, I don’t see it happening in the future either because for me, as for you I am sure, relationships matter more than land, gold or money or dare I add, ego too? When nothing else intrudes, ego does, especially with age, as we have seen, again while growing up.

Where we are today is rather great considering that the lines between us were drawn pretty early by our parents. You were on the inside and I on the outside. Growing up, I hardly spent time with you. I was never allowed the freedom that you got. So while you played in the open, I struck up friendship with books and daydreamed. In that light, I find it absolutely amazing that we grew up to be who we are. It is definitely an effort from all our parts that has brought us here.

In spite of being the eldest, I don’t think I have ever taken the liberty to dole out any advice to you. But I feel compelled to give out a piece of gyan today which I feel will stand you in good stead:

The context and meanings you choose to give to words spoken by another, are yours alone, including the consequences.

Let the good times continue.

Your older sibling who is only one in age.

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I HAVE to share this post from my dear bro Count Bawa: Dear Carrot Tyrant (That’s me in case you were wondering. So what are you waiting fro? Go on and read it!)

Whoever is participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge, please hop over to Hrishikesh’s blog and add the links to your respective posts to the linky he has at the end of each of his posts for the challenge.

©Shail Mohan 2014