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What exactly about the following statement is difficult to understand?

“Boarding has not started. Please be seated. We’ll announce when it is time”?!

Personally, I find the statement pretty clear and totally non-ambiguous in nature. Apparently to a majority of traveling Indians, and mind you they are the educated lot, this seems to be complicated mumbo-jumbo unable to be processed easily enough and something which goes right above (or may be that should be THROUGH) their empty heads. What? Be seated? Not on your life, siree! Suppose the flight left without them? Better still act as if you are deaf adders and zombies rolled into one and keep on standing where you are.

What IS it about us that we love to disregard announcements, flout requests, and crowd where there is absolutely no need to? I mean look at it this way. No one is going to run away with your seat on the designated flight, nor is the seat going to run away on its own. No one who walks ahead of can usurp your seat either. If it is luggage space that you are worried abut there is a solution for that too. The airline crew WILL find space for your baggage. They are not going to ask you to leave it behind. And yet, the blubber-heads passengers are all crowding the entrance as soon as those on wheel chairs are being helped to board, ignoring the requests of staff to please be seated. Anyone who has flown at least once knows next comes those with infants, the business class and then the different zones. Zones? Did you say zones? The poor beleaguered staff made a feeble attempts to make people board according to assigned zones and failing, gave it up altogether.

Shame on you people. I wonder what examples you are setting for your children since many of you were parents with children in tow. I bet they obey their teachers when they are told to go and sit at their desks. Sad for them that they had to see their parents acting dumb and disregarding properly worded and clear instructions.

And then there are the high and mighty among us who are inordinately proud of their “paying capacity” but wrongly think that the rest of the world subsist on charity. There was this young lady with kids in tow, one a baby. She had one medium-sized bag, a slightly smaller one and an even smaller one in one of the luggage racks above. When the stewardess tried to move it around to make space for my bag, she objected. I have my baby’s things in those bags and I need access them. Right. The stewardess said, Okay Ma’am, tell me which one you want, I will keep it in such a way you can easily access it. Or, she suggests, the smallest of bags, a handbag actually, can be kept under the seat. The lady says, one has medicines, the other has clothes and the third has food. In short, that whole rack has to be left alone. It is hers. I was amusedly thinking, if three seats entitled you to a whole luggage rack, then the airlines would have to build new planes with a different design from the present ones. Anyways, next she uttered words which I have heard many Indians say at the drop of a hat. I PAID for my seats.

I almost snorted out loud but controlled myself in time. With great restraint I kept my mouth shut, not allowing any quip to escape me at this pompous statement, instead letting the stewardess deal with things. Ma’am we have to find place for everyone. This lady needs to keep her bag as well, Ma’am. Finally after a few exchanges, the stewardess managed to squeeze in my bag as well though the Lady Who Paid For Her Seats was not pleased and only grudgingly accepted the final arrangement. You know something? I am secretly hoping LWPFHS would come across this post some day and at least then realize how ridiculous she sounded to those around.

Read this hilarious post on a related topic, written by Sumana: We are like this only

Updated to add these related posts:

We are like this only! from Govind

The case of the desolate dollars... from Suranga