Father’s day, Mother’s day, Valentine’s day, Friendship day…….. There are days galore to felicitate the near and dear ones in our lives. All of them are celebrated with much fanfare. What amuses me is how, when any such ‘day’ of celebration is upon us, we inevitably have a size-able chunk of the population breaking out in rashes… of disapproval. They come on all sanctimonious over the innocent revellers and ask with righteous indignation, why on earth anyone needs a ‘day’ for celebrating mother, father, brother, sister, lover, friend, dog, cat or the parakeet. Shouldn’t love and affection for anyone be an ongoing thing instead of being confined to a ‘day’?
Good point. Except that as far as I know, such celebrations do not come with any conditions or clauses that state once the ‘day’ is over you are forbidden to show affection and love to loved ones until the same time next year. There is nothing that says no to continuing giving flowers/chocolates or going on outings or whatever all year round. Of course it is another matter with the prices being what they are that you might end up a pauper and not have anything in your pockets to do all that. But that is a different matter altogether.
I am not one for much of celebrations. Take for example today’s Valentine’s day. I can take it or leave it. For all I know the L & M might walk in today with a box of sinfully rich chocolates plus 102 (yes, the number has a significance which will be revealed duly) roses to celebrate the day. Of course if he does that, I might consider giving him one my famed reproachful looks for his not having given due thought to what all those calories would do to my non-existent waistline, even as I gobble them up without any remorse whatsoever. It is possible he might walk in empty-handed without a clue as to what day today is. Naaah, that is not actually possible. He is the same man who surprised me with a CD of mushy songs and a card for me on Valentine’s day way before the Senas had even heard of Valentine’s day, before there was internet to remind us of the day so promptly. What I mean to say is he remembers days. But I digress.
The point is, the possibilities are endless on just how this day unfolds for us. I might or might not wish him. We might or might not go out. You get the idea? We can take it or leave it. But I am happy for those who are out there celebrating. When I hear the sanctimonious nit-pickers, I feel that attitude of ‘live and let live’ is missing. Celebrations are for those who want to celebrate. The rest are free to do whatever else they’d like to do. But pricking the balloon of happiness of others is not one of them. After all, one definition of happiness does not fit everyone, does not have to, and will not either. Happiness may be a day snatched together in some name or other for some. May be the pinkness all around does lift some hearts? Chocolates, mushy songs, cards, eating out…. how can anyone say with certainty that all that does not give happiness to someone or other? May be not to you, but to someone different from you?
The favorite word bandied about here like nobody’s business when it comes to the different days is “commercialisation” used especially with regard to Valentine’s day, Father’s day, Mother’s day et al because they are seen as Western imports. Oh yeah. So all that money you splurge on our very own desi festivals is not commercialisation? All those unnecessary sugar you force down on each other, all the finery you deck yourself up in and try to impress each other with is not ‘commercialisation’? Give me a break. Is commercialisation only when the ‘day’ is of Western origin? Besides, I am yet to hear anyone dismiss Rakshabandhan day with a, “Why Rakshabandhan? Why should there be a special day to celebrate the relationship between sisters and brothers? Don’t they love each other the rest of the days in a year?”
I have been noticing how the anti-Valentine’s day gang has been speaking up in unison: Love does not need a day. I agree too. Absolute truth, love does not need a day at all. But love will not disintegrate and wither away because it was celebrated on a ‘day’ either. So why not let the revellers revel? Why not let them be happy in their enthusiasm?
Now we come to the reason why I hoped to get 102 roses. I opened my Google+ page today evening to find this message from an absolute stranger:
“HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! 101 ROSE!!!!!!!!!! love u dear,,,,, my id is j__________@gmail.com. Come for chat”
The L & M could top this offer only by getting me 102 roses. But who am I kidding? He laughed when I threw him the challenge and the laughter had the unmistakable tinkle of, “Dream on!”
1st
🙂 Congrats!
Ahhh,to be a fantastic blogger who gets such heartfelt offers from absolute strangers! The closest I get is offers to “view my pics” on Yahoo! messenger.
Tempting offers aside I can understand why some say bah humbug to Valentine’s day in particular. There is some pressure (especially on men,because,let’s face it,women are generally more considerate) to come up with some token of appreciation when that is not their general MO. Of course here that’s not much of an issue because there is a vendor on every corner selling flowers and pink and red doodads,so even the least considerate among us can find a simple way to brighten the day of a significant other. Then there are those without a SO who feel lonelier on a day that celebrates couples.
And then there are those like my daughter in high school who despise the ostentatious and competitive displays of balloons and flowers toted around by the girlies who can PROVE that their boyfriend of 3 weeks really really loves them,so now it is okay that she’s having sex at a tender age, or the girls who are crying in the bathrooms because their boyfriend doesn’t really love them enough to get them obvious gifts,and she already gave away her self respect.
Like you,I can take or leave Valentine’s day.I have a wonderful husband who me every day why,and how much he loves and appreciates me,and sends me little love cards for no special reason.I wouldn’t trade that for all the chocolate and flowers on the planet, in fact,on the occasions he has sent flowers I love it,but I have mixed feelings because we are watching our pennies.
All that said, I was pleased with myself this V-day. I had made my husband a gift that was meant for his birthday in December,but I didn’t send it to him in Bangkok because the place was flooded for months.Last week I mailed it and it just so happened that it arrived on V-day there. It was a deck of cards entitled “52 reasons why I love you”,with a reason on each card.There is nothing in the world I like more than seeing tears well in my husband’s eyes when I’ve touched his heart.But please don’t tell anyone I told you he can cry. It would ruin his tough reputation.
Now,(that I’ve written a little blog on your page) back to the book I just started- Losing Battles by Eudora Welty.I’ll let you know how I like it. 😉
And yes,I agree with you.Lets just try not to rain on the celebrants who want to celebrate.
Sally, you should get back to blogging! 🙂 I agree about all that. And yes, ‘not raining on somebody else’s parade’ is my point too 🙂 Do tell me about the book when you are done 🙂
Lovely post Shail, and like you rightly said ‘why not let the revellers revel?’!!! I used to be a big fan of V-day however the enthusiasm just dies…blame it on age 😦
Age? Come on Pal! You are too young to be talking about ‘age’ as a factor. 😉
The best part of any day is that you can kind of use that so-as-to-say special freedom to do what you have been otherwise afraid of or hesitant of or just been putting off. Maybe call your parents, maybe take the risk of proposing your friend or throw a hint, etc!
As for yesterday’s valentine’s day. We are in the 12 year of marriage and I called my better half, are you free and the quick response was- I’m am in a meeting, will call you later. And the later happened I we couldn’t go out for a coffee together ..
Happy Valentine’s Day irrespective!
My first valentine ofcourse was my camera 🙂 and it din’t happen on a valentine’s day.. But, it still feel good to be reminded of it..
I agree, the days do make it sort of special which certainly does not take away from the rest of the year.
Oh what a bummer that you both couldn’t go out. But that’s part of life. And than you for the wish 🙂
I liked the tone here. Live and let live… when did we ever… or rather “they”
The moment one finds something “western” to celebrate, they are out in full force to try and get us back to our “culture” – Lol. I wonder if they’ve found that one yet!
So also for Birthdays, I’ve been thinking. A perverse me. Why do we celebrate ourselves just one day? The day we made the stage appearance? Each day we wake up fresh and new, so that day should also be acknowledged! Well, one could go on and on.
But let those who want to, go ga ga over these things, and they can simply watch, can’t they?
Live and let live it is. And like you say, if they don’t want to celebrate, they can watch. Why are they being meanies when others celebrate? If they don’t want to watch there are options for that too! Just shut the door of your room for a day and stay inside. But when the temple festivals are upon us, do we have an escape route at all? The loud filmi music is played right in your face!
I find the ‘commercialization’ tag real funny considering that for every damn celebration (Indian origin) you see pots of money being spent.
Like I told on other people’s blog posts, I am prettty neutral to it…I mean, it doesnt matter na…I dont personally celebrate it, but then there is nothing wrong in other people doing it..for me its full on entertainment in the bus and train to see young girls and boys carrying roses and then hearing on who gave whom which colour rose and all that…I dont think it matters to me too much 🙂
LOL on the 102 roses….L&M is too cute 🙂
Exactly the way I feel. But of course if the Senas or anyone else says that its not to be celebrated, or that its a western import i’d want to celebrate it just to say ‘Tchah to you!’ to them 😉 But then that’s me 😛 Hehe..
nice post there! people(some of em) nowadays get cranky for no reason..and more often than not it is the lot who have nothing better to do in their lives..as for the 102 roses..lol don’t tell me it came true 😀
Thank you Leo 🙂 Cranky for no reason, maybe there is a reason we don’t know of? 😛 Just saying.
Nope. No 102 roses for me 😦
Agree with you…I am one of celebrate every day special day person…Birthdays,father’s day…you name it I celebrate…I know every day should be for our family and friends..but these are fun reasons to break out of daily routine…..
Hey did you get 102 roses… just nod or wink I will get it 🙂
“Fun reasons to break out of daily routine” Bingo! *now Shail, why didn’t you think of that?* Thank for putting it in a nutshell 🙂
Catch the L & M getting roses! Sigh (or should that be grrrr………?)
Hi maam, This is really a wonderful post..And I agree with your opinion about celebrating a particular “day” for love, mother, father etc.,If we want to celebrate such days, we can. If we don’t want, just leave it. But we should not blame others who find their happiness in celebrating such special days…:)…I love celebrating my life, not only in one particular day but also my whole life…:D
Welcome to Shail’s Nest JIF 🙂 …and thank you. How right you are, to celebrate or not is a personal choice. 🙂 We should certainly let others choose their way to express happiness.