Procrastination, thy name is Shail. Sigh, this should have been up a good three days back. But better late than never when inflicting readers with an onslaught of words. *evil grin*
The highlight of my recent visit to Delhi (after 6 long years) was meeting blog pals Ritu, Ruchira and Abha. To tell you the truth, my intention had been to quietly slink in and out of the place with nary a soul knowing. But of course even as the train sped past Faridabad, meeting Ritu had been the thought that was uppermost. Of course I had no clue that the other two were stationed in and around too.
There had been a message from Ruchira soon after, “You come to my city and you don’t tell me!!” This was followed by Abha’s decisive question, “When can we meet?” Then, I knew it was time to ping Ritu. I did and asked, “Can we meet??” The rest as they say is history, well documented, in her inimitable style by Ritu. So I will not go into repeat descriptions.
I remember when I walked into Shipra Mall and was being introduced to Ritu’s #Kid 2 (who was also present by the way) he said something like ‘I have met you before’. Ritu, corrected him saying, “Beta, Shail is the one who has come from Trivandrum!” implying that he couldn’t probably have seen me before. But, he still felt I looked familiar. Frankly speaking #Kid 2, I am not in the least bit surprised!
Strange as it may seem, this is the reaction I get from almost 95% of the population I happen to meet for the first time. I have ceased wondering about it any more. And no, it’s not about them having seen a picture of me or something like that. Even before the internet or blogs, the same thing had been happening to me. Rummy, if you ask me how I seem to be like someone who everyone finds familiar!
It turns out that both Ritu’s #Kid 2 and I are born under the zodiac sign of Cancer, the bundles of contradiction as Ritu calls us. Yes, yes Ritu. That is exactly what is behind the funny posts I write (that you love) and the poetry (that zonks you out). Haha. Oh, #Kid 2 I hear, writes poetry too which his Mom describes as ‘edgy and serious’. But he wasn’t in the least bit edgy or serious in person, really cool and fun to be with chap. See what I mean about being ‘bundles of contradiction’??
Ruchira and #Kid 2 hit it off the moment the topic of bossed over and long suffering younger siblings came up. I was quite thoroughly enjoying their anecdotes underlining their predicament, thinking how well the junior son of mine would fit in with them if he were present, when realization dawned. I sat up with a start. I am an older sibling! I proceeded to examine their data in this new light only to find it terribly wanting. So, drawing a deep breath, very bravely (there were two of them and only one of me), I ventured to suggest,
“I am an older sibling too. But I am not bossy….”
Before I could say more to shed light on the spotless non-bossy persona of mine Ruchira in a oh-I-have-heard-this-so-many-times voice said,
“That’s what they all say!”
Uhh… Dazed I paused, realizing I needed a change in policy here. Nothing I say was going to be accepted as evidence as it would come under the category of ‘what they all say’! Hmmm…. I debated whether to call up my younger siblings and have them vouchsafe for my blameless (of bossiness) older-sibling-hood. But that seemed such a tedious a job. I guess older siblings are lazy. I am, anyways. So, I remained silent, letting the opportunity to convince them (and the world at large) of my squeaky clean image vanish before my very eyes and have the much maligned older-sibling mantle settle on my shoulders. Sob sob. I was beaten before I had even tried putting up my claim for a place in the sun of an angelic older sibling. Oh well…. But guess what guys?! We have a saying in Mallu-land that says older siblings are simpletons (Kadinjool pottu). The ones that follow them are a cocky lot. No, Mallu-land does not say that, I do! (Read this) Hehe…
We had lots to talk about and as seems inevitable, bloggers when they meet talk mostly of blogs and blogger friends. We could have talked about a lot more too, but time seemed to have a mind of its own and whizzed past. Coming to blogs, not surprisingly, we were all unanimously agreed on one thing: we like well written blogs. No sms lingo in blogs please. The language…. yes, the language is important, very important. If it is not well written…. oh well, next one please!
A well written blog did not need a long list of comments to authenticate its worthiness, we felt. It is worthy all on its own. I wish some really good writers do not feel disheartened by the fact that they receive fewer comments. If writing is a passion, one should forget about the comments and just write though I admit the longing for appreciation does exist in most all of us. But linking of a blog’s worth to the number of comments…. Well, I don’t buy that at all. There are some really fine blogs out there which I thoroughly enjoy reading but have so few comments to it.
In a similar manner, it amuses me to watch ‘ranks’ go up and down depending on the number of blogs you write each month as if that is any indication of its worthiness! Up goes the rank when you have time on your hands or are in the mood to obsessively write one month. You slack off the next and down it plummets. So, all the rank indicates is how many blogs you have written, nothing more nothing less. Writing does not come out of an assembly line (and should not, because then it shows in the writing) and the number of blogs you post should have only as much importance in the scheme of things as it deserves. Comments, number of postings etc have their place. But true enjoyment of a blog comes from the content. Period.
Pind Baluchi, was were we decided to have lunch. I will let you in on a not-so-secret fact. I am terrified of eating outside my home. No I don’t have any phobias. It is just that I am a very poor eater and Indians have this habit of forcing food on you. Not only do people stare wide-eyed at the portions I eat (no, I don’t eat too much, but very less! Grrr….) but they also make snide remarks disguised as harmless or concerned observations, “Oh are you dieting??” No siree I am saving up for when the famine hits. *rolls eyes* And I have saved quite a bit in the last twenty years or more!
My fears were soon laid to rest as my friends left me to myself and concentrated on their plates instead. Phew. Thank you dear people, it is such a relief to be left alone. I must add though that Abha was our perfect hostess, taking the initiative to pass the food around and asking if we had enough.
By token of my statement that ‘I am a poor eater’, Ritu coined a new name for me, Pint Size, (“Pint size” it was a pleasure to meet you in person’ is a comment she left for me at FB) which now joins the long list of names I already have (What’s in a name??)!
Now here is the picture, where they were kind enough to let me stand on the higher step, to iron out the difference in height. Hehe…
‘Twas simply lovely, meeting you all. Here is to more such meetings!
Another thing that resulted from my Delhi trip was connecting with a classmate of mine from my post-graduate days. Woohoo.. that means someone from a good two decades back. Huh, who am I fooling?? Make that three decades back, a very long time indeed and reason enough to be all excited about it. Well Pyarelal, for that is his name, said he was touched that I had bothered to trace him, “you have kept your wonderful simplicity at heart intact” and also that he read a few of my posts. Thanks buddy; it was a pleasure talking to you too. Connecting with you brought one amazing fact to the fore. A sizeable number of my friends are Aquarians. (Why is that, I wonder!) Are there more of you around?? If so raise your hands… errrrr, on second thoughts, that would do no good. So please do let me know via the comment section. Thank you.
😀 Lovely recap, pint size! Oh no one force feeds so don’t fear that! When there is food in my plate, I tend to first focus on that, not on what others are eating. Therein lies the cause to my chubbiness. And yes, Kid#2 loved being with Mom’s pals (though I wonder if it was the refined sunflower oil that caused the congeniality).
Wow! You are really chilled out if you happily accept the line “I’ve seen you somewhere” I’d take it for a pick up line. On second thoughts do you look like a cine star or someone out of the history book? Is that why your face is familiar?
@Phoenixritu,
Lol @ cine star/someone from history book (who?? who??) 😀 Actually, I have heard too many ‘I have seen you somewheres’ from a cross-section of people that I am totally cool with it.
Ahhh the sunflower oil is a real congeniality-inducing oil. 😉 And I totally dig the ‘pint size’! Best name I ever got 😀
And Shail, I was the older sibling … and was bossy too! That is until my brother grew bigger and stronger and retaliated. Karma is a bitch sigh!
@Phoenixritu,
Probably why you were mum, eh?? My case is totally different. Either they sit on my head or take care of me/look out for me. 😉 I am older only by age 😛
Funny – I don’t remember saying “that’s what they all say” 🙂
Shail, we left you alone during lunch because the rest of us were too busy concentrating on our chicken or discussing the travails of being a younger sibling 🙂
I so so agree about comments not being an indicator of how good your blog is – I know so many good bloggers who hardly get comments. Like you what attracts me to a blog is a good content and excellent creative writing. What surprises me is that a frivolous post of mine that I may not have put much writing effort in gets a huge amount of comments but a post with very good content – something I have put my heart and soul into hardly gets comments .It’s heart breaking at times !
And u know something – Just like you I am (was!!) very shy and an introvert. But I have learnt the hard way that it always pays to be social. So like you I hide behind the guise of an extrovert.
Was lovely lovely meeting you! I think I enjoyed this meeting more because it was not all fun and frolic – I mean it was but then I think we are on the same wavelength as far as writing and blogging is concerned and hence the stimulating conversations 🙂
@Ruchira,
Ahhh poor you! You don’t remember eh?? I had already planned what I was going to write in my post when I heard you! 😉 😆 Besides, ahem…. I seem to have noticed a certain comment to my sister asking for insider info on Ritu’s post! Gotcha there, eh, Ruchira?! 😛
Whatever the reason, I am glad you guys left me alone… because I feel terribly conscious and guilty when people tell me I haven’t eaten anything. 🙂 You guys are cool. I am glad you all were busy!
Good content and excellence in creativity, yes, same for me. I know exactly what you are talking about when you say how sometimes frivolous posts and something we didn’t give much thought to gets more comment than those we worked harder on. I guess we cannot quite say what catches the fancy of readers. Besides, if some discussion ensues in the comments section, then there is more activity.
Ditto about ‘learning it pays to be social’, especially with the stint as an army wife. If truth were to be known, those who knew me in my early days as an army wife will not know this is the same woman if they see me now. I was shy, I was quiet.
I would have loved time to have stretched some more. But then we are going to travel together, aren’t we??! (Oh God, did you have to be so tall?! Grr…) Just kidding! 😉
U can all write ur own versions, but the base line is the happy conversation that u all had and thats so fab… 🙂 🙂
LOL @ Pint size…. 😉
Now, I am seriously looking err staring at ur picture to see if u seem familiar to me…. 😉 😉 I’ll tell u when we meet. 😀
WOW !!! Super duper to connect with college mates or school mates !!! I remember meeting up with my class mates of school, recently and it felt like visiting our childhood. 🙂
@UmaS,
Of course, the bottom line is that we all enjoyed! 🙂 Well let’s see when we meet whether you think ‘She looks familiar!’ 🙂
I did not meet him, just got to talk to him over the phone 😦 May be some time soon we will be able to 🙂
I agree. The number of comments and rank etc are not what takes me to my favorite blogs, in the end it is the content that matters. I also like it if a blog is easy on the eye – dark background can be discouraging.
Enviously enjoyed reading about your meeting 🙂 I hope we meet whenever either of us visits the other’s city next.
@Indian Homemaker,
I am definitely with you on the blog necessarily being easy on the eye also free of too many distractions. Black backgrounds are a big no-no They really mess up with your eyes. But now, my son introduced me to this: https://www.readability.com/ It is a real boon!
Yes, lets hope we meet too sometime soon 🙂
I was wondering how they give ranks to the blogs, now, I know, thank you!
I am with you, Shail…I am also a poor eater! People worry about me all the time for the amount I eat! Pint size…same here!
I envy you…you have got nice friends esp. blog friends and you are able to meet them too!
I always love to read well-written blogs. Yes, as you say, they need not have many number of comments and I have learnt a lot from these well-written blogs.
You met your college mate after so many years and you were able to recognise each other? Great!
I am a Libran! What is unique about Aquarians?
@Sandhya,
Well, I am sure they have some other criteria too, like page hits or perhaps number of comments not too sure. But I have definitely noticed that when I post more blogs, my rank goes up! 😉
Wow another Pint Size! 😀 Good to know you.
Well written blogs are a pleasure to read. Some people don’t even bother to spell check when it is so easy to do that. I do prefer when the language is good, free of grammatical mistakes.
Actually he (my classmate) is a Govt guy and it was easy for me to trace him, find his mail id and phone number. I just sent him a mail with my number and he called me back 🙂 We weren’t able to meet. May be another time 🙂
I cannot say off hand about Aquarians, but one thing is that they show very less of their feelings. That is one prominent characteristic of theirs. Are you following Zodiacfacts on twitter?? I find it amusing to do so and then try and correlate the facts posted to the friends and family whose sun sign I know! 😉
@Shail, As soon as we announce one day one post, the first post itself gets more than 80%!
No, I don’t follow Zodiacfacts, now, let me try! I used to admire Indian express newspaper’s future something…the predictions fit-in so well!
@Sandhya,
🙂
Sounds like so much excitement n fun Shail! Meeting blogger friends and class mates!!
And I see we’ve somethings in common – I’m cancerian and ‘I am terrified of eating outside my home’ for exactly the same reasons that you mention.. and also i’m a slow eater 😀 Can totally understand what you say 🙂
@Priya,
It was fun 😀 I am a bit slow too in eating! And yeah that makes it tougher.
Are you a moody emotional Cancer?? 😉
Hi! So you procrastinated :). Yes… my question was decisive as i really wanted to meet this blogger friend form south who just happened to be visiting Delhi. Hence i got in touch am so glad that the meet happened.
I agree wid u… its the content that matters in a blog and not the comments, though as my Blog says’ “Your comments make me happy!”. But blogging on topics close to my hear or which stimulate me is what i do. I think we all bloggers go more by our hearts than head :).
Happy to have some gr8 pics as memories of the meet. Till we meet again…. stay happy and keep blogging!
@Abha Midha,
And I am so glad you asked and set the ball rolling which culminated in this lovely meeting 🙂
Comments always make bloggers happy. But they should write regardless. I remember when I started off here (I had been blogging at Yahoo360 for 2 years) I had very few comments. Going by the heart is a good policy 🙂
Yeah, I am so glad about the pictures too. I don’t go anywhere without my camera if I can help it! 😉
Keep blogging too Abha 🙂 Till we meet again!
That was some great conversation you had amongst yourself. And I totally agree, a blog’s worth should not be dependent on its comment-count or rank but the content.
You met a college-mate after 2 decades..superb!
And my husband is an Aquarian 😀
Enjoyed the read thoroughly, Shail!
@Deeps,
Ahh an Aquarian swims into the ken. 🙂 And you are…? Aries or Gemini??
It would have been lovely if you could have made it to Delhi too. But there is always the next time! 🙂
@Shail, Neither. Am a Virgo 🙂 Your WA and my HB fall on the same day, remember?? 😛
Ooooh yes! Now I recall. Ahhh Virgo and Aquarius, is it?? 🙂
That was a nice charming picture of you and your fellow bloggers.
No, I haven’t met you before
May be I am an exception.
But count me in the group that would welcome a chance to meet you.
I will let you know if I ever visit Trivandrum.
If you are ever in Bangalore, do alert me and I and my wife would be glad to meet you and your husband.
(My wife isn’t the blog reading type and is greatly amused by my enthusiasm for it. She hasn’t still understood, why I spend so much time to read what total strangers, some where in the world are writing in their “diaries” and why I should bother writing all those long comments. Sometimes I tell her about the views some of you express and her eyes light up. In her views she is another feminist like most of you but without your writing skills. She is the practical type, not the intellectual type. She goes out and does things unlike me who spends long hours at the keyboard.)
Yes, I agree. The merit of a blog is in the content. Not in the number of comments and not in the frequency of the postings. However, I feel that a minimum frequency of two posts a week is desirable if a blogger is to be taken seriously. I have friends who write once in a few months and they send me links and practically plead with me to read it and write a comment. I have to oblige them!
I read a number of blogs in English and in Hindi too and am rather amused at the state of affairs in some of these “blog syndicates”. Most blogs start off well, and slowly run out of steam and finally fade out. Blogging needs commitment. Casual writers need not attempt blogging. Blogging should be for one’s own satisfaction. I have heard some people make money by blogging. I really wonder how. If I ever take up blogging seriously, it won’t be for the money.
I am wary of those who try to advertise their blogs. They do so by making brief one line comments on others blogs and then sneak in a link to their blog. Some openly solicit. I am also distressed by some of the jealousy that some bloggers exhibit. To modify a quote, Great bloggers write about ideas/issues. Ordinary bloggers write about incidents/events and the mediocre blogger writes about people and other bloggers.
I am not a blogger myself but over the years I have written a few guest posts that some of my friends in the blog world have been kind enough to host. More than writing original posts, I enjoy reading good blogs and commenting on them.
More people have read and reacted to my comments than to my original posts.
The number of readers who read my original postings can perhaps be counted on one’s fingers.
Commenting has other advantages too. You don’t have to rack your brains for a subject to write on. The subject is already there and chosen by the blogger. You only need to add your take. You have no commitment to send in a comment. If you don’t feel equal to it, simply read and forget. No one will miss you.
A commenter is usually always welcomed unless of course he is a carping critic . Every blogger wants readers and if there is a reader who is not a blogger himself and thus does not expect you to return the favour, this reader is specially welcome!
Many blog writers have unwittingly formed syndicates. They read each others blogs and send in their comments and after some time, you can identify the members of this syndicate. The rule seems to be “You read my blog, and I will read yours”. Not an ideal situation. You can easily identify such forced readership by the quality of the comment. They are quick, short, one liners that are more of an “attendance marker” than a genuine comment.
I read blogs simply because I enjoy them. Those that I don’t enjoy after two or three visits, I stop visiting. I know there are several good blogs that I will enjoy but it’s just not practical to visit all the blogs out there. You make your selection and settle down to it. My quota is about 12 blogs and yours is one of them. I have a few more which I visit off and on when time is heavy on my hands but I am a lurker there. I don’t send comments and those bloggers never come to know of me as I don’t post comments.
Blogging is a great hobby. It is another mature way of web socialising. You get to know a lot of good people and you have lots of time and opportunities to size them up before you venture to meet them.
I too have met a few blogger friends. Not once have I been disappointed. When we met, I found we had judged each other well. Over a period of time we all expose ourselves and our nature quite fully. They say sometimes the personality we see on the web is totally different from the real self. May be that is true in some cases but my experience has been different. I don’t meet people after a contact on Facebook or twitter. I meet them after reading their blogs. I don’t meet or try to establish any social contact with anonymous bloggers. I must know their real names, sex, marital status, profession approximate age and location, before I venture to go further in establishing a web friendship. I am free and open with this information about myself.
Sorry for this longish comment. But you just gave me an opportunity to sneak in a blog post riding piggy back on your shoulders.
Let me sign off for now.
Keep blogging away.
I may be inactive for the next three weeks. My daughter who is settled in USA, is visiting us this week and I plan to spend a lot of time with her. I may read a few blogs but I may not have time to send in comments, particularly since my comments are mostly longish and I put some effort and time into them.
Regards
GV
@G Vishwanath,
Lol, okay so one person who feels I don’t look familiar 🙂 I do keep visiting Bangalore or used to. It has been a few months now. Always welcome to Trivandrum. 🙂
We need all sorts for the world to function, intellectuals and the practical ones. Glad to know your wife belongs to the practical type.
I agree with all that you have written. Sometimes of course you do drop a link at other blogs, when it is a relevant topic. But the doubt always remains whether someone might think it is advertising. I ‘advertise’ my blog links at Facebook, Twitter. Google buzz and such other sites.
Comments are always welcome to any blogger and do make them happy. But they certainly are no indicators of a blog’s worth. Sometimes you have a friend circle that likes to chat and tease each other via comments though the blog itself may not be too great. It is fun, but does not make the blog worthier. In other cases, the topics of the blog demand discussion, so naturally lots of comments happen. Sometimes, your fondness for reading other blogs and leaving comments gets you more comments in return, than for those who rarely move out of their own blog page. I have noticed this to be true of many bloggers who lament about lack of comments. They rarely are seen anywhere, so their blog also goes unnoticed.
There are those who fall in the ‘you scratch my back and I scratch yours’ category and are closed groups. They have eyes and ears only for each other. They exist everywhere,even on Twitter. In such cases comments made by new people are ignored or not given much importance. The ‘gang’ visits each others blogs and makes comments. I have seen a lot of that over at sulekha too. Of course bloggers do end up having common friends when they notice comments and hop over to check, or someone posts a link to their FB status and friends go read it. I was happy to note recently that some of my friends from earlier are readers and commentators at IHM’s blog. The circle is actually growing. Someof her friends now read my posts too. Same with other friends.
I feel those who have the passion for writing should just go ahead and write. If you look at my earlier posts you will find I have very few comments, and that is in spite of the fact that I used to blog at Yahoo/sulekha. Old readers of yours do not always make the effort to move to new platforms (and surprisingly they ask you, are you writing these days??), only the really interested ones do that. And yes, I have a few of those too who have stuck to me and still read me!
It is now 5 years since I have started blogging. When I began there were some who made snide remarks that I will fade out eventually. Of course I don’t hold that against them. But the truth is many of them are not blogging now! 😛
Jealousy. Yes, that IS rampant. I have been an unwitting victim. I used to be a more open and friendly blogger and considered all my commentators as my friends. The petty jealousies exhibited by some in the last platform I blogged at has made me very cautious and stand-offish now.
I totally agree, we can judge a person better via blogs and comments. And the purpose of meeting them is to reinforce the connection already established here. I’d never dream of meeting anyone met via facebook or orkut or such. Anyways my friends there are the same ones who comment here! So no worries
🙂 I am so JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
not writing anything logging off hmmmpffffff
@bikram,
Aww Bikku, don’t be. We are going to have an even bigger meet the next time around. actually we must plan well in advance. How does that sound?? 🙂
And I liked your untitled post. Will comment on it soon.
Pleasant surprise! Never knew u were from Trivandrum 🙂
@Ashwathy,
Are you from here too?? 🙂
Yup! 🙂
@Ashwathy,
🙂
Hi Shail…just read about the Nest meeting at ritu’s blog and i know how wonderful it must have been.
Interestingly , even i meet many people who think they have seen me earlier . I don’t know why but it happens all the time …so i can understand what it feels like …puzzled … but i’ve got used to it too 🙂
@sangeeta,
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. And yes, it was a wonderful meeting 🙂
So you too get similar reaction as I do! Glad to know there is one more 🙂
When one is a handful, all four together?
This onslaught how did the city manage to weather
I wish the meeting and the coming together
Of the birds of the same blogging feather
The very best, as a true well-wisher.
I know only one of this group well enough and I hope the other three wouldn’t mind my taking the liberty to comment about them. My apologies if I have hurt them in any way.:)
@Govind,
Oh they are all good sports and wouldn’t mind in the least. 🙂 …and thank you 🙂
Blogger meets are wonderful but somehow I feel shy 🙂 I have met only one blogger till now and that too after I had known him personally for a while.
@Reema,
Though I am an introvert, I love meeting people 🙂