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There!! I knew all along that it wasn’t my fault alone. But in spite, I end up with the short end of the stick. Makes one bristle at the injustice of it all.  Grrr…. Imagine someone else doing dirty work behind the scenes and you having to bear the brunt or rather the weight of it. Yessir, that’s just what has been happening to me and I am sure to many others out there.

Unbelievable as it may seem, I have been and am a good girl. I eat like a bird, no not like an eagle let me hasten to add before some smartass among you might suggest it, but more like a sparrow. I do my work, I walk around a bit and I errr…. used to exercise once upon a time before the blogging bug bit incapacitating me seriously from taking the exercise routine. Be that as it may, do you think all the hard work I put in, stopped the unwanted (Shoo shoo fat cells, go away and don’t come again another day) fat cells from running around freely and making colonies where they very well pleased?? Oh no siree, nothing I did stopped/is stopping their immigration to strategic locations. And pray why do you think that happened/is happening?? Only because a few pompous genes think they know better and it is up to them to decide where and how fat is stored in MY body. Grrr… the injustice of it!

Am I the Master of my (fat) Cells or not??

The outlook IS rather glum. It seems I am not. Apparently, those meddling genes have a say in where the fat cells migrate and settle down, not me. Apple or pear shaped or muffin top, it is all up to them. Excuse me, while I gnash my teeth and froth at the mouth. It is no fun to find out that after all the uphill struggle put in to prevent the fat cells from acquiring and building on prime land, that their capricious decisions have the support and blessings of a Godfather or rather a few Godfathers.

Of what use tying ourselves into various shapes and knots, huffing and puffing up steep slopes, getting all hot and sweaty, avoiding the fats and the sugars and the what-nots?? Of what use subsisting on grass and water?? Eat right and exercise and everything will be alright with the world, they brainwashed us into believing. Sob sob. Now after all the slogging, they tell us a different tale.

There is another distressing fact to note here. Conforming to the ways of the world the fat-distributing genes have it in for us girls. They, the bally thugs that they are, prefer to un-shape the female body shape more than the male. The mind boggles at the unfairness of it! They need to be taught a lesson soon and how.

Anyway I am glad that the splendid team consisting of people from Cambridge, Oxford, not to mention other Universities, has tracked down more than a dozen of these anti-social genes who don’t give a damn if by their handiwork they turn a masterpiece into an ugly blob. I hope the law upholders of the scientific community step in and the more-than-a-dozen-of-them offending @#*&^$@*$#$ genes are arrested, bunged into a lock-up and starved (and bludgeoned) till they scream for mercy, admit to their crime of mismanagement of fat cells and agree unequivocally to direct said fat cells to settle only at the right places. Go for it guys, I am with you.

Written in jest in reaction to this.