“I stumbled upon the net one fine day a few years back and have felt like Alice in Wonderland ever since.” – Shail Mohan.
There is something about the internet that’s curiously magical and uplifting. Where else can you, at a sedate fifty, with hair beginning to gray at the temples and wrinkles making their stealthy appearance, find on opening a social networking site you are member of, waiting for you a message with a simple query, “Will you marry me??” Below is an example and believe it or not, this is the very first communication from this particular netizen.
As you all know I am your typical (well maybe not that typical, but still typical enough) bhartiya nari whose life has run on predictable lines. I was born into a traditional home and palmed off to the guy the parents thought was the right one for their daughter. On the lines of ‘if winter comes can spring be far behind’ as asked by the great poet P.B. Shelley, ‘if marriage happens can kids be far behind’ asks the very tiny-in-more-ways-than-one poet Shail (that’s me, in case you were wondering). This is especially so in the Indian scenario where the arrival of said kids is awaited with bated breath by the whole set of nosy-parkers (“Any good news?” they ask) that go by the name of well-wishers.
Anyways when the little pitter-pattering feet finally make their appearance, your world turns all topsy-turvy. Time is at premium. All you have on your hands are busy days getting busier, till you are spinning like a top not knowing when a day begins or if the night comes at all. Sleepless nights due to the baby bawling give way to more sleepless nights spent wondering about the uncertain future of the know-it-all teenagers. But somehow you survive it all to find to your utter surprise that your kids, against all your misgivings, have turned into rather decent sorts. They have gotten into their chosen fields and don’t need you now except when the odd hunger pangs hit reminding them they do have a mother.
Finally you are there; reached the time in your life you longed for. You stretch yourself luxuriously and look around at the world with new eyes. You are now a free bird with lots of time on your hands to do as you wish. You now have time to ponder on things other than what new filling to use for sandwiches for the boys or how to remove the ink-stain from their white school shirt. You remember long forgotten causes that you used to talk of animatedly. You now have more time to espouse and hold forth on topics close to your heart. And one day the kids in their youthful exuberance impressed by the Mom (or perhaps to remove her from their hair, your guess is as good as mine) decide to introduce her to the internet.
Mom aka yours truly, meets the internet and takes to it like duck to water. She is enthralled, like Alice in Wonderland. Blog-world and like-minded people make her feel she has found her niche. She connects with a lot of friends on networking sites where she finds an outlet for her weird sense of humor. But something happens that she had never ever bargained for in this very virtual world. She finds suitors for her hand, yeah you heard right, suitors for her fifty year old hands.
Now it is a mystery to me, what exactly forces certain people to propose to absolute strangers on the net, strangers whom they do not know from Eve?! Is it some as yet undiscovered and nameless compulsive disorder against which they are powerless? Or is it something similar to the philosophy behind the Mallu saying, “Kurudan maavil eriyunnathu pole’ which literally translates to ‘Like a blind man throwing stones at a mango tree’. You see, the sight impaired man only has to persist in the stone throwing and eventually he is likely to hit a mango and make it fall, provided the tree is fruit-laden of course. Do these proposal-senders operate on similar lines? Do they think that if they persist with the ‘Will you marry me?’ long enough, it will be met with a resounding ‘Yes I will!’ some time or other?
Anyways why should I bother my head with such questions?! I am actually amazed and thrilled to the core that, compulsive disorder or not, some actually asked for my hand, yes the same fifty-year old one. Wowee. Honestly speaking, who would have thought I would get an opportunity of this sort again in my life? Not me, not by any stretch of imagination. Apart from the fact of the six-footer in my vicinity acting as a deterrent to aspiring suitors and dampening their enthusiasm in ‘real’ life, there is this other matter, rather small but important nevertheless, of the enormous courage necessary to ask a tigress in baa lamb’s clothing (who else but moi) for her hand.
Yet such is life that what can never happen in ‘real’ life does happen in the ‘virtual’. It is something to do with the flickering of the computer screen methinks which somehow momentarily stupefies the person sitting in front of it, enough at least to mislead him into thinking he has it in him to aspire for the hand of the tigress (though in baa lamb’s clothing). Bless the flickering computer screen. Woohoo. What a boost to the shrunken ego. The plummeting self-confidence now is back in business and working on all six cylinders as Wodehouse would say. It struts around, reasserting itself.
I peep into the mirror and find the gray hair and wrinkles mysteriously missing and conveniently forgetting to make allowances for my failing eye-sight, I come away pleased. Who needs all those Botox injections or surgeries, the tightening, the nips and cuts that are so popular these days, all for the sake of a smoother complexion and a better figure? All one needs is an account in a few social networking sites with a name that sounds feminine. Now tell me, how can I not find the internet magical and uplifting? Nothing like a few proposals in your middle-age to boost your sagging …umm… morale.
©Shail Mohan 2010
I guess I know a bit of the feeling 🙂 Having discovered the internet fairly late (not fair, isn’t it, that IT came along late? I mean, if it were on time, imagine the havoc in the families we have been fortunate to build?? 😛 😛 ), I know all about these kinds of suitors and messages 🙂 As you say, a feminine name, and fairly articulate communication skills, and you’re hot 😀 :D!
Still wearing a smile on my face 🙂 Thanks, perked me up no end this morning 🙂
Usha, glad to have you laughing on a Sunday morning. LOL over your comment too. 😀 But seriously, I have been trying to sound my men-friends on what makes these busters send proposals to total strangers in this manner and have been getting some funny replies.
And ‘I love you’??!!!! I am nonplussed and amazed as to who they think they are ‘loving’ before even questioning their familiarity with the emotion itself! 😆 BTW I am luving it all! 😛 😉
I feel for this poor guy! Isn’t it a pity
that the girl he thinks is pretty and witty
is the one who has turned one over fifty
and also has a husband who is tall and hefty.
Shail, good write. LOL@’boost your sagging…..errr…..morale’
Lol Govind, yeah such a pity. But I wonder if he even knows I am witty, fifty or for that matter pretty and that my husband is hefty! 😉 😛
Thank you 🙂
Please, please say yes? It will make for another amusing read…The cougar finds her soul mate. Wonder why the older woman is likened to the Cougar?
P.S You have company, I am hopelessly addicted to seamless world wide web.
And best of luck for the competition :))
OMG What will I do with the one I already have Purba?? :O 😆 The net and the netizens have given me ample opportunity to take a dig at them here and here.
Hmmm yesh, why Cougar??! *wonders*
Thank you for the wishes. How remiss of me not to wish you. Good luck for the competition to you too Purba! 🙂 I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post.
Indian Homemaker said:
LOL 😆 I thought one generally got offers of Fraindship now they have started proposing online 🙂
I once found a hilarious video… wait, let me get you the link.
This guy probably doesn’t imagine
a fifty year old could be so bold
to see that technology in not a curse,
It isn’t a silver lining either,
because there is no cloud (unless he is the cloud!)
The internet is her pot of gold 🙂
Lol yeah now they are graduating to proposals from mere frandship requests. 😛 I liked your verse.
Waiting for your video link IHM.
well, to be honest I had expected more from the standards you set with the two stories for Katha sagar…
it’s a hilarious read, but I feel you could have done better 🙂
Thanks Sundeep. This here is not a story. This is entered in the category of sarcasm/humor/weird.
One can always do better of course. It is only machines who can churn out products in a uniform manner. 🙂 But I’d say one thing, the expectations and standards and opinions are all yours, not mine. As far as I am concerned, I write. Period. 🙂
Sadhogopal Ram said:
Couldn’t agree more with you on this statement of yours – “he expectations and standards and opinions are all yours, not mine. As far as I am concerned, I write. Period.”
Very well Said!
I am jealous, I only got friendship requests – but a full fledged proposal! Lady, that sure boosts up sagging everything
Doesn’t it now, boost up sagging everything?? 😉 ;lol: Wait, your turn will come too soon. 😉
deepa kashyap said:
It was fun reading and cudn’t stop my smile while going through the post
nice one !!
all the best 🙂
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Deepa. And thank you. Glad to have you smiling! 😉
Sadhogopal Ram said:
I know I’ve to be good here.. but you see, I can’t cheat on me.. I actually didn’t enjoy it .. though at few places I smiled a bit.. but apart from that nothing worth mentioning.. may be as you wrote I am not being able to understand your ‘weird sense of humour’ .
P.S. Are you really fifty? :p
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Sadhagopal and thank you. Not a single thing in this world is unanimously liked by all and least of all do all laugh at the same things! So your reaction does not come as a surprise to me. 🙂
BTW please read this https://shailsnest.com/wp/memoirs/golden-jubilee-cometh/ 🙂
I too have received such weird stuff online 🙂 and instead I get scared thinking of stalkers!
Hmm… yeah stalkers are a crazy and scary lot.
hahaaaha! nice read…knowing the trends now-a-day we cannot even be sure who is making such comments…man or woman??? LOL
Pushpee welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you. You have a point. 🙂
LOL, et tu.. I got the “I love you” but not a proposal yet.. Ayyo, I am so jealous of you…nothing to boost my saggingg.. err. morale?
Enjoyed the read. Just wait for a year or so, they will have a name for this disorder and then we will be wiser :).
Lol, yes they are sure to have a name for this soon! 😉 Lol.
BTW perhaps you might get one of these soon enough 😛 No need to be jealous! 😆
Someone Is Special said:
Wow!. What a proposal..
Nowadays Frendship request has changed to Love Request.. Wonderful…
I wish you a good luck for WeBlog Sleepy Sunday Contest – I
Saravana Kumar – Last Wish
Saravana Kumar M
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Someone Is Special. Thanks for the wishes 🙂
WOW !!! And LOL at the same time !!! 🙂
I dont know whether you were asked for your approval before getting married, many years back. But here’s a chance for you to choose – and choose from the many requests !!! 😉
Really Shail, I’ve not stopped smiling at this proposition u have got…really internet is really making life interesting. 🙂
Lol Uma you have a point there. Now I have choices before me! 😉 😆
Exactly, I find this so amusing, that’s why I don’t delete any of my social networking profiles… I can have a good laugh and also have something to blog about! 😉
ROFL,Shail! Hilarious! Hmmm…so now from fraandship requests its a straight jump to marriage propasals,huh..WOW…thats a huge perk :lol:!!
Loved this post..it has the true Shail-touch to it :). BTW, it reminded me of your Orkut&I post 😉
Wish you all the luck for the contest 🙂
Looks like that Deeps. Frandship seems passe. Proposals are in! 😉
Thanks for the wishes. Don’t forget to register at WeBlog.
Sumana Khan said:
Hey Shail! Had a good laugh on that one. as usual, a very well written piece 🙂
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Sumana. Glad you had a laugh. Thanks 🙂
This one was really funny!!
Congrats on the proposal Shail 😀
Enjoy Madi 😀
Thank you Noorulayn 😀 Lol, yeah I am enjoy madi-ing 😉 😛
Ha ha ha!! All I can say is, ENSOYYYY!!! Just wondering what would have happened/would happen, if you actually said YES 😉
Roghto, ensoying! 😉 😆 OMG don’t talk about saying yes. I am shivering in fear. Well one of my friends did suggest that I say ‘yes’ and then give him the shopping list and ask for the date too! 😉 😛
Wow ” Kurundan maavil eriyunathu pole” Malayalam sounds like classical Tamil! I thought this post is more of category 1 rather than 2 which is humor.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Venky and thanks for dropping by. Well, the second category is humor/sarcasm/weird. And I feel this post certainly belongs to that category 🙂
Bob Hoff said:
What a compliment; that cannot be denied, no?
To propose over the Internet seems a little hasty. Does he even know that you are married, in love, and the mother of two sons? Also, that you love your hobby of writing/blogging and making friends and managing a home?
Do not reply in haste while he has you off balance. Many in your life rely on you to turn down this suitor’s suggestion and continue the way of the mature and accomplished woman that you have always been.
🙂 Shall we locate him and lob some bricks to scare him away from such future tactics? The very nerve of this fella…. 🙂
It would indeed have been a compliment if the fellow knew anything at all about the person he proposed to. 😉 These sort of proposals are like random shots in the dark. Don’t you think so Bob??
Okay I will take your advice and not reply in haste when off balance ROTFLOL. And well, I wouldn’t mind lobbing some bricks at him to bring him to his senses! 😛
Renjith P Sarada said:
Sorry for reading this late as I was tied with some Board Meeting preparations! I liked the thread and was imagining the other side of the story – the events that would have happed if you had said YES and he continuing the “njarambu rogam” and meeting you to discover himself being with a witty lady and her hefty husband… I am visualizing it like a screenplay!
Good vocabulary – as always. Happy writing!
Haha, ‘njarambu rogam’ indeed! Thanks for the comment 🙂
Was one among the firsts to read your post 😀 Couldn’t comment then.Here I am back again to comment .This is a totally weird experience,proposing to marry you on seeing your facebook page!Your facebook page must be really good looking 😀
Enjoyed reading.Glad you visited my page.Will keep visiting.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Vignesh. Thank you and do keep visiting. Well, I am not sure such people notice much before they dash off messages of proposal to all and sundry. Maybe they are hoping one of the many will say ‘yes’ some time or other! 😉
Raksha Raman said:
I couldn’t help but laugh at this – ‘Nothing like a few proposals in your middle-age to boost your sagging …errr… morale.’ ;P
What do I say about such morons?! Proposing total strangers is their way of taking the person into confidence and thus extract the ‘phone number’ 😉 They know that a majority of women..uh oh! wait a minute..let me rephrase..a majority of ‘girls’ fall for the word love and end up doing stupid things like giving out the number!
50?!! Unbelievable! 🙂 I will read the link that you’ve shared in reply to Sadhogopal..May be that should help me believe 😉
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Raksha. Well I do wonder sometimes if there are such fools among ‘girls’ who do give out their number by calling such guys back. I guess some are stupid enough to do that.
Well, by now I am 51! 😉
Thanks for dropping by.
And they rely on shaadi and matrimonial websites to get married! What better place than Facebook and Orkut! 😛
All the best for the contest! Ohh yes, just this post made me bookmark your blog! 🙂
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Sourav and thank you for the best wishes. Yeah, I asked the same question in an earlier post, where is the need for shaadi.com or such sites, when one gets almost similar experience in social networking sites! 😆
And I am honored for the bookmarking. Thank you. 🙂
Hilariously True! You got the theme and the content just right!
All the best
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Hiyaa and thank you 🙂
That was such a humorous read. Social networking!! Lol! Proposal for a 50 year old!! Did you get the proposal despite updating your profile about your 6 feet tall ‘man’ and your age??? 🙂
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Tuppence. That’s the funniest part Tuppence. Not only does the site give my age, there is a short bio of myself and a stern warning that says I don’t suffer fools and their net-ways. In fact there is an explicit note to the effect that no one even address me as ‘dear’ (I hate it when total strangers ‘dear’ me!!!) and that I am just ‘Shail’ to anyone who wishes to communicate. 🙂 But I don’t think these people read that. But some do of course! 😉
So Alice is having a wonderful time on the net..have you met the Mad Hatter yet? By the way you haven’t said what happened to the guy who asked your hand..bet he is in catatonic trance after what the tigress may have said to him.
Hmm… not yet. I haven’t or else I would have challenged his claim that he killed Time. 🙂
Oh yea just one typo..the Poet is Shelley..or am I wrong and there is a guy called Shelly?…but no you have also given the initials of Percy Bysshe..so it is Shelley..unimportant I know..but i also know you are a stickler for details.
OMG Vivek HOW did I make that mistake?? And yes I am a stickler for details (and just shows how it affected me coz this second comment is theone I am answering first!), so thanks for pointing that out to me. Hmmm… How did that happen?? Perhaps because I myself was called ‘Shelly’ once upon a time! 😉
good to know that there is hope after forty… does away with all the sagging…. !!!.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest 🙂 Rest assured, there is hope after 50 too! 😉
Swapan Kumar Das said:
This made my weekend reading! BTW its more then a year now on this “incident”, anymore update on this?! A sequel to it??!!
Thank you Swapan 🙂 Errr… I thought people might get bored of a similar theme. So I did not write any more 😀
😀 😀 😀
Wonder when the genders will flip on this one. Another 20 years maybe. Would be perfect timing for me
Brillliant write Shail..
Keep your fingers crossed! 😀
Njan chirichu marichu.. Omg!! Enikku vayya…
But awesome write up.. Especially the last few sentence 😉
Lol, chiri arogyathinu nallathanu 😀
Blame it on your beauty even at the age of fifty.No wonder you receive so many proposals
Lol, Lahari. Thanks for the compliment (though one whole year late) 😛
Vasudha Rao said:
This was FUNtastsic !
Thank you, Vasudha 🙂
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A regular Indian girl! said:
Hahahaha!! That is pretty amazing!!! Yes, internet has these quirks too! 😛 🙂
How cute 🙂 I agree with the first quote. Even I feel like Alice in Wonderland since I have found the Internet 😀
Lovely read! Will read again later, once not enough.
Gee, thanks, Prerna 😀