This is not what you think it is. I certainly do not have an identity crisis. Oh no siree, not at all. But someone else seems to have a ‘crisis’ of gargantuan proportion about my ‘identity’! Now if that isn’t weird besides being funny of course, tell me what is! Not that it should matter anyways. As long as I know who I am, why should it? The day I start doubting who I am and unable to stand the pressure of the question, crumble and start sticking straws in my hair, when the doctors at the nearest asylum start rubbing their hands in glee sensing business coming their way and lose no time in rolling out the welcome carpet for me to sashay into that padded cell would be the time to start worrying. As of now, nothing of the sort has happened and all I want to do is roll on the floor laughing at this poor misguided soul or souls who is/are being taken for a royal ride by another someone or someones about my true identity or lack of it.
Ahem… time for some history. Bear with me while I look back in time. I started blogging way back in 2006 in the by now extinct platform of Yahoo 360 under the name of ‘Shail’ which is but a shortened version of my real name. I agree I did not think much of my name while growing up (What’s in a name??). But *sob sob* that is the only name I have and I have stuck to it like a leech wherever I have blogged or am blogging. Besides, I really love I, me and myself, all three of them in fact. I have never ever wanted to change or morph the I, me, myself into someone else. Sadly enough, I don’t even have role models on pedestals to model myself on, like many of you out there.
I am not only happy and content being I, me and myself, but also comfortable enough to tell the world about that I, me and myself without editing or hiding behind masks or avatars. Hence be it any social networking site or blog site, you will find me using my own boring moniker and my own boring picture too. I know it IS rather boring, but there it is, that’s the way I am, a staid and boring uninteresting a person with not enough imagination to change my name or blog anonymously under assumed names.
Of course it is no crime to blog anonymously or hide your identity, what with the world being what it is with those wanting to be ‘friands’ going Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and others wanting to ‘instant massage’ you! It is simply a personal choice. To each his/her own is my way of looking at it. Anyways, this someone seems to have been taken for a royal ride by someone else into thinking that I, me, myself and some anonymous blogger are one and the same. Of course it should not be any problem to me what someone thinks and why. After all it is not my head smoking about whether I am one person or two rolled into one. But someone or someones is being very mean minded about it and hurling accusations at me via the comments section. Tch tch tch… not cricket at all this, my dear someone or someones.
Now when any one has any doubts about anything, it is better to be open and forthright about it. “Hello Shail. Who are you??” would have been a nice way to start off the proceedings, followed by,
“Are you the so-and-so blogger, blogging at x,y or z platform anonymously?”
Oh no siree. Someone it seems does not want anything to do with the direct approach, and has chosen to be coy and hide behind anonymity, fake e-mail ids and cryptic spam comments which go so far as to accuse me of not being able to dance because, hold your breath people, because I am handicapped. Hmmm… Correct me if I am wrong, but being handicapped or not knowing to dance is no crime in India or in any other country as far as I know. Of course I could be wrong. Being from Neptune and all that am not all familiar with how you humans go about these things. I can solemnly assure you though that it is not a crime in Neptune, my home planet. Non-dancers and disabled are accepted as equals.
By the way, I am still puzzled as to why humans think it is necessary to prove to some stranger who will not even identify himself/herself and who one doesn’t know from Adam or Eve whether one can or cannot dance or whether one has or does not have a disability. Sigh! What is this world coming to if bloggers have to prove their dancing capabilities and the state of their limbs to their readers?? I thought blogging was all about writing skills. Just goes to show how much more learning is left for me to do to understand humans.
Of course it is none of my business what someone, or anyone for that matter, chooses to delude themselves with. I mean there are people selling non-existent oil shares and there are those who buy those shares too. So if someone wishes to be delusional that I am some other anonymous blogger and cannot twirl and swirl because of some handicap is it any of my business? Hmmm… but can I really blame the poor someone? I have been naive myself and believed there existed praying goats. So how can I point fingers at others for being gullible? I do sympathize with this someone who has been royally fooled (methinks) into believing there are not two but only one in two different forms. But since this someone is choosing to spam me with cryptic and rude comments due to said gullibility, methinks, I need make it my business after all.
Hello! You poor soul, you don’t have to spend sleepless nights speculating who I am or am not. Search and ye shall find. That is all there is to it. But you have to look where it matters. Check the records; they are all publicly available for anyone for scrutiny. I own a passport, ration card, driving license, PAN card, voters ID card et al, all under the same name and what’s more, you will find my grinning picture on all of them.
If that doesn’t give the needed satisfaction and you still toss and turn in your bed counting sheep, please write to me using a ‘real’ e-mail id to which I (or my representatives) can give a suitable reply. I mean of what use is it sitting in another country and accusing me via spam comments that I cannot dance and I am disabled?! Let us get together and thrash this thing out. Since it seems to be giving you so much of stress, enough in fact to give your life the go by and instead spend valuable time throwing accusations at total strangers (come on there is more to life than sitting in front of the PC writing comments accusing people on the net)
I thought I will condescend to let you out of your misery. In fact I will even ask my family and friends to tag along so that they can vouchsafe for me. And if I am in the mood I will even do a jig or two (to prove I can dance) and walk a few steps (to show I can walk in spite of the sciatica) and I don’t even ask anything of you in return. So shall we fix that appointment to meet at the nearest police station?
© Shail Mohan 2009
…and all the while I thought this was going to be one hell of a serious post 🙂 Thoroughly enjoyed it. And I’d never ask ‘Hello Shail, WHO are you?’ because your beautiful self radiates from every post/every pic of yours 🙂
Me: Lol @…and all the while I thought this was going to be one hell of a serious post ……And thanks so much Pal 🙂
Always knew you were you from the moment I met you…………pity the poor person who thinks otherwise, for they are the one missing out.
Me: Welcome to my page here Rita and thank you. I do believe in being myself no matter what. Am glad you were able to see that.
Oh! What a fiery and intersting bout
against someone(s) who had the gall to doubt
Will it make them come out of their hideout
I doubt,for I think they’ve been knocked out.
Me: I can only hope that this will clear the misunderstanding that they seem to labor under that I am someone else! 🙂
Tim Buck said:
Okay, Shail. Please do release a video of you doing a jig, set to some really frantic music! Disprove all weird rumors. 🙂
Me: Hmm…. Tim, yours is the second request for a video with a jig. Of course it should clear all weird rumors not that I really want to, clear the weird rumors I mean. Just think of it, if I post the video, the world is gonna know that I am after all a squint-eyed, crooked-limbed, pock-marked big fat bald smelly ogress who albeit I must admit with a heart of gold. Errr…. btw Tim, are you still for the video or does the request stand cancelled?? 😛
I am really amazed at the amount of experiences females get on the net…
When internet started and was new… yes there was a rage to get into a chat room and ask… a/s/l… but tat was ages ago…
but really funnily written… loved the ramble…
Me: Real life or virtual, its all the same and sometimes it is fellow ‘females’ who land you in trouble! Gosh, I am glad you think this is funny. I am told my humor sense is awful though of course I swear I don’t compel anyone to read what I write. Some very nice people have very helpfully pointed out to me that my taste in humor is very poor. 😦 Ahh well, too late to change now. Am too old 😛
Balvinder Singh said:
There can be many reasons for the bloggers to hide thier identity on the blog. Either they are scared of some one whom they may be offending by their writings or they are confessing to something serious done by them in the past or they are using some famous name to sell their blog to the readers. There is no evidence in your writings of any of the above. And yes if any one has doubts, the direct approach would be more appropriate. Shaila, keep blogging.
Me: The direct approach is always better Balvinder rather than jumping to conclusions. Besides, I have personally met quite a few of my ‘blog’ friends and all the person who has any doubts is to clear it up with them, instead of making baseless accusations, though of course calling me handicapped, if at all I am, is a silly accusation. Being handicapped is not a choice anyone makes willingly like being a stalker or spammer.
Enjoyed reading your post! And I am glad to learn that the English language as we know it is not “dead”.
Me: Carl, how nice to see you here. Oh no, the English language as we know is still alive Carl! 🙂 I see it in your writing!
To write under a psuedonym
Is a ploy that argues a wit dim
Dancing does not need to be physical
I dance all day with wit so nimble
Me: Of course you ‘dance all day with a wit so nimble and we who read it dance along with you Ritu! 🙂 I so enjoyed the post about the spousal fight cut short! Lol.
Bob Hoff said:
Once again I have arisen before sunrise to read your humorous perceptions of the world around. Once again, you have met my craving for humor.
I believe that you can twirls and swirl because I sense the joy in your heart. But please, no videos of the HRP “jig” unless I get to see it toward the top of the waiting list? Remember that I asked for a video back in April of 1975?
I notice that someone on your live traffic feed list is from Hobbs,
New Mexico, a little over over an hours drive away. Ummmmmmm? Coincidence? Planned? Irrelevant?
P.S. Now that my favorite writer Kurt Vonnegut has passed, what do you think about me changing my online identity to Kob Voff since in my mind anyway he and I write similarly (NOT).
Me: Was it 1975 Bob?? I am pretty sure it had been in 1955. You sure it hadn’t been 1955?? Oh I see what you mean. There is this minor matter of moi having not been born as yet in 1955. How silly of me not to have taken that into account! Anyways, if ever a video is released, you will get the first copy of moi doing a jig Bob! 😀
OMG WHO is this mysterious feller from Hobbs??!!!!!!!!!!!! Do keep out an eye for him, okay??
But, right now let me make that all important decision. I have a few daisies here and I am going to pluck its petals to find which is the online identity that you should go for. Here I go, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, (more daisies please…. cannot make decision yet!!) Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot, Kob Voff, Vob Hoffentot………..
Bob! Bob! Bob!!!!!!!!!You seem to have fallen asleep. I will let you know later.
Bob Hoff said:
or Vob Hoffentot?
Let me know your preference?
Pingback: Spam comments | Shail's Nest
Just one request,if ever you wish to change that profile image of yours pls upload the one with the churidar-sneaker combo so that those morons understand you are ready for some serious confrontation 😀
about the post,all i can say is ignore..they are not worth your time & energy
Me: They are not the worth the time and energy Deeps, but they are definitely blog fodder! 😉 As for the picture, I am accused of posting only close-ups as display picture to hide my ‘disability’!