A dedication from me to all the girl children of the world who face the ignominy of gender discrimination.
You tell me I was born
Very near midnight
When there was no light
On a very dark night.
Is it my fault
I was born at night??
Tell me Mother
Doesn’t day follow night??
The ink I spilt
Makes you so angry
When it is your son
You are never unhappy.
The frowns are for me,
The smiles are for him.
Why not spare a smile
For me too, Mother??
He’ll take care of you
You always tell me.
I wash the clothes
And vessels too, Mother.
When your back aches
You call me, to your side
To rub it for you
Not your son, Mother.
You tell me I am a girl
Nothing but a girl
Is it my mistake
Aren’t you one, Mother??
Love lights up your eyes
When your son you espy
Am I not your child
Just as him, Mother??
Will I ever see
Your eyes shine for me
Or is it my fate
To see only hate??
Mother, they say
Is an endless sea of love
Is it my destiny
Never to swim that sea??
– Shail Mohan (2007)
Hi Shail, this poem will be true in many families, how sad a mother would treat a daughter like that. Same thing happens when they seek dowries and mother-in-law and daughter-in-laws abuse the women, instead of supporting her. The suffering women don’t have to worry, they may suffer now but God will take care of them, while those who make them suffer will suffer in due course many times. Congrats for the new blog site. Well done. Cheers.
Although all of us take pride in our Indian Culture, we need to recognize that there is something fundamentally wrong with a culture that assumes the superiority of males and that celebrates Indian women for being meek, submissive and sacrificial. One way you can help counter this mindset is by being proud of the women in your life, and by taking pride in yourself if you are a women.
A thought provoking post, Shail Mam.
Samvit: Thank you!
Chris: Yeah it is a wonder how a mother can treat her own child this way not to speak of the problems a woman faces as a daughter-in-law too. Thanks for the wishes and I am really glad you took the time out to visit me here!
Vikram: A culture that ‘celebrates Indian women for being meek, submissive and sacrificial’ You have put it in a nutshell. This is so much ingrained in the psyche of women that anything otherwise makes the men see red and make the women themselves feel guilty!! I agree with the ‘being proud of the women in your life‘ and ‘taking pride in yourself if you are a woman‘ you speak of.
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Very touching poem, Shail, and yes, I am glad to be back and reading from you again 🙂
And this, for girl children who face discrimination is the saddest part, isnt it?
“Mother, they say
Is an endless sea of love
Is it my destiny
Never to swim that sea??”
Me: Indeed it is the saddest part. And now I am missing your comments Usha. Where art thou??
Very much touched by the emotions expressed in the poem…voted for your poems at indiblogger.
Me: Thank you so much Deependra! I really appreciate it 🙂
very good poem written if the world became like this then what will happen
Welcome to Shail’s Nest. Yeah, the world has to change its view of girl children and women.
diksha bansal said:
nice poem……….it really touches me.
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you 🙂
Sad… but so true in so many families!
I have seen this happening in 2 of my friends’ homes, where the parents have discriminated openly and directly!
The poem is beauitfully written, but sad and poignant
How did I miss this comment?!! Yes, we do see this happening 😦
Thank you Pixie.
really true n touching…..
Welcome to Shail’s Nest and thank you Kanika
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it is just wonderful ……..
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Pranathi and thank you 🙂
it is very touching and loving and can make any one cry
Welcome to Shail’s Nest Aryabajaj and thank you.
At my home, daughter and son are treated equally.
Son and son-in-law are treated equally,
But i’m not able to digest the fact that daughter and daughter-in-law are NOT treated equally.
If daughter speaks her mind, they say “We are proud of her, we brought her up like that”. If daughter-in-law speaks her mind “How dare she, just because she is earning, she does not have to be rude, she was not brought up right” . It really hurts me that even parents with daughters forget that the daughter-in-law is also someone else’s daughter. I’m not able to tolerate this inequality.
First of all,welcome to Shail’s Nest, Anu. I know what you mean. Why do people not put the DIL in the place of their own daughter to understand her position better?
Well this is funny,
I went through a similar situation this morning and I just came across this post on the side while looking for updates. I guess the universe needed me to read this and let me know I am not alone. I am very frustrated and annoyed with the fact that I need to be groomed and trained “properly to be some ragdoll for someone else who believes in entitlement”. I was cutting ginger and though I find a way convenient for me to peel it, my way is not the ” proper way”. I went through a crisis this summer and it’s all my “fault” (which is not entirely true). They don’t get the whole picture. Obviously this indicates that women need to be a certain notion to become marketable in the marriage market and be some kind of status symbol so they can please and be enslaved by the in laws. They cannot be themselves and if they don’t do anything that matches the “standards and expectations”, they’ll be blamed, cussed..you name it. You say something that’s the truth and a fact, you get a “change your attitude” because they refuse to see the real side of things. Verbal abuse and guilt trip? Oh yes. Manipulation and using someone from “God’s own” as a status symbol and who’ s conceived as the “best” when in reality they are not all that..oh yes, that happened today when my mom ranted how my cousin who’s married learned to make chapatis recently and ranted that I don’t make them, which in truth I have made them since I was a teen (of course not every single day but you know). My cousin’s married and on her own now, so of course she’ll learn how to cook and take care of her home since she has a husband and child, but she NEVER done that before she married. I mentioned this before how once you are alone you do learn to experience and learn to become responsible and I got that is not the “right way”. And I was told when it comes to marriage, Indians in India (or maybe just Kerala?) don’t need to adjust if they marry people from other places outside, but those outside do (?!!). So they get all entitlement and special treatment and we have to be willing to be treated by crap? How is the marriage going to work if you can’t adjust to each other?
I feel bad for Indian women, the daughters and daughters in law. The problem is that they are brainwashed to be little robots who blindly do what their parents tell them and control them like mini mes, even if it’s wrong. They are not allowed to take decisions and make mistakes (I guess making mistakes is BAD also) and when they need to decide independently, they can’t do it. They need to start saying NO and stand a firm ground. Though I don’t like arguing and getting into fights, I need to talk back matter how “disrespectful” it is, otherwise they’ll walk all over you. Keeping quiet does not do anything.
Sorry but I am just pissed and annoyed that this kind of treatment is still allowed, and because of this it’s very difficult to embrace Indian culture because of this mentality. Pretty soon all will be lost.