Sobremesa is a Spanish word (if I am not mistaken) which literally means ‘over the table’ or even ‘upon the table’. But, that’s not what it is really about, I learnt. It is the time spent after a meal with family and/or friends, talking and enjoying each other’s company, either at lunch or dinner.
Not only is the word beautiful, but the emotion it conveys is too. Sobremesa. I love it.
I am someone who likes to linger over a meal and enjoy every morsel of whatever little I eat, and the conversations afterwards. But I have spent most of my adult life sitting down to a meal opposite someone who is a fast eater. Not merely fast, but a lightning fast eater. And who also wants to get away from the table as quickly as possible. The L&M.
I think it must have something to do with his life as a cadet in the army. Hurry and eat. and get out there for your next bout of training. Of course, it’s decades since those years, but the habit persisted and still does. Come to think of it, not all from the army are fast eaters like him, so perhaps it is his own special trait.
Anyways…
Like I said, I like to linger not just over my food, but after my food too. Sobremesa.
This happened a lot in the past during dinners when the children were still staying with us. There was so much to talk about. The L&M meanwhile would be impatiently waiting for us to finish. Most times he’d even excuse himself while we, mom and children, lingered at the dining table some more, over our conversations.
You see, these were the only times we got to be together as a family during those days of mad rush of school, college and office, and I really cherished every moment of it. Besides, I knew they’d be leaving the nest soon, and such moments would become rarer as the years went by, happening only when they got home for holidays and/or visits.
The result of spending years taking your meals with someone who is fast is that you tend to unconsciously follow their lead. At least that is what was happening to me (when seated across the L&M not otherwise). Once the realisation dawned, I consciously tried slowing down, but many a time have caught myself mid-meal unconsciously ‘following the lead’!
With just the two of us now leading a retired life, and the L&M still being the fast eater that he is (he is done with his food even before I am done with my salad), there is no sobremesa time to speak of, unless of course you count the time I spend with the iPad open 😉
©️ Shail Mohan 2025
Shail's Nest 
Oh, I feel you! By the way I came across this word yesterday too.. On my insta feed! We need to find places to do ‘sobremesa’ more with our girl gang coz it is not going to happen at home anyways!
Ah I normally feel empathy with your L & M but not this time! Sobremesa is a great word and one by which our family lives! My “She who must be obeyed” is a fast eater too but stays at the table enjoying the conversations. No one ‘excuses’ themselves from the table. It is the centre of good conversation.
That said, I’m not sure you can call our ‘sobremesa’ a ‘sober mesa’! Conversation is usually enlivened by what the Romans might have called aqua vita and the French, eau de vie!