When we are done with shopping, the L&M gets his coffee. I have opted for a softie twirl, ice cream in a wafer cone. We walk towards the exit of the mall, pushing the trolley along. Suddenly I notice the glances. Some covert, others not so covert.

Odd, I tell myself. Those days are long gone, the days when you turned heads. Oh yes, there definitely were those days. But now whatever you do or do not, no one is bothered. For that matter neither do you want them to be bothered. The freedom of ageing. One has so gotten used to its safe coccoon. What has changed today?

I surreptitiously check what I am wearing. Normal chino pants in a pastel shade and a simple cotton top in rose taupe. A little bit of lace and some ordinary buttons. Nothing sensational. Just your mundane colors and in a boring style too. Between the two of them, they cover everything that needs to be covered as per societal standards. Being reasonably new there aren’t any open seams or holes anywhere in sight.

Is it my hair? Is it standing up giving me a golliwog-at- the-seaside-on-a-windy-day look? I dismiss the idea. My crew cut, which incidentally would put any young army recruit’s hair cut to shame, is only a day old. This means I have practically no hair on my head for it to stand up even in a cyclone. Or if a lizard comes by. The second one you see, is far scarier. Anyway…

So why the covert and not so covert looks from absolute strangers? Why the amused expressions? Why the ‘really?’ kind of stares? Why the smiles? Yes there were those too, the indulgent kind.

Is it the ordinary attire, the too closely cut salt and pepper hair, the unselfconscious enjoyment of an ice cream cone in a public space while happily chattering with the spouse? Or is it a combination of it all? Your guess is as good as mine.

©️Shail Mohan 2024