It has happened to most of us at one time or another. We see someone who is better than us and feel insecure about our own selves. We are not good enough, we think.
It could be someone who churns out yummy dishes that we can never hope to replicate. Or a person who gets up on stage and keeps the audience mesmerized with witticisms, the one who sings beautifully or dances with an agility and abandon you can never hope to achieve.
It could be a someone who has a flair for taking amazing pictures. Or one who travels a lot while you are stuck in your hellhole of an existence, same place, same faces, same food, same routine. They could well have a super-computer like brain to solve math problems or puzzles while you count on your fingers (or ask silly questions of friends like how many zeroes a million has). May be they run marathons while you huff and puff going up even the slightest of elevations.
Their silky hair might make you rue your rough and frizzy mop. Maybe they could build, draw, paint, while all you can do is stare open-mouthed at their creations. Perhaps they could write better than you, their language impeccable and free-flowing, their creativity and talent astounding you so much that all you can think of after reading them is to hurry up and quickly bury your own writings where no soul can ever find it.
That last one. The one about writing. Yes. That was the way I felt (still do at times) when as a new blogger I came across some really awesome writing from other bloggers. I told myself then (and I remind myself every now and then in the present), I will be who I am no matter how good, better or best others are compared to me.
The truth is, there will always be people doing things better than you or me, writing awesom-‘er’ posts, weaving even more fabulous tales, writing harder-hitting posts. So the best option is to keep the flame in us alive and go on doing what we want to in the best way we can.
©Shail Mohan 2016
Day 12 NaBloPoMo 2016
“And the truth shall set you free!”
When the light you begin to see
If the other appears better
Admire in spirit and letter
But don’t let it sink you — that’s insecurity
Wah. Couldn’t have put it any better. 🙂
Indeed there are often times we wish we were someone else. Not completely though isn’t it? I wish I was free to roam around explore but I’m also thankful to have my kids… And someone out there will be wishing she was like amira.
I wish I could be a student in the fullsense of being a student without having to work extra hours for the extra income, without worrying and toiling around attending to kids needs… But there will be someone else out there wishing she was like amira.
You write superbly well Shail. I wish I was more like you, persistent 🙂
I keep coming and going on this blogging journey, I shut down now and then and yes the thought about “Not good enough” clouds my head quite often 🙂
Yes, there will always be others who want to be like you or me. I think its good to keep that in mind.
When it comes to blogging I am more persistent than with other things , don’t know how or why. 🙂 May be you will have more time for blogging later on. And remember there will always be someone better than us and it does not really matter as long as we give our best 🙂
Sheila M. Good, Author said:
Well said, Shail! Hope you don’t mind if I reblog. Excellent! @sheilamgood at Cow Pasture Chronicles
Of course, you may. Thank you. Sheila 🙂
Sheila M. Good, Author said:
My pleasure and thanks for a great post.
Sheila M. Good, Author said:
Reblogged this on COW PASTURE CHRONICLES and commented:
“So the best option is to keep the flame in us alive and go on doing what we want to in the best way we can.”
I thought this post from my friend and fellow blogger, Shail was spot on with where I have been so recently. I hope it will make you feel as it did me. Thanks, Shail and please, give her a shout out.
Thank YOU, Sheila 🙂
Well said. It is only if we dissect the lives of other awesome-er people that we see where they wish they were a bit like someone else for perfection in something else, sometimes even us!
True that we will always be who we are in terms of silky hair, colour of skin, height, gender, lineage, age, fine arts skills so on. Several other things we can better, if we put our minds to it, can’t we 🙂
The power is in us and our attitudes. The key is to being happy with ourself is when we know we have tried and done our best.
That last sentence sums it up. 🙂
What a well written and far reaching piece! This speaks to many of us from different life paths, and with your words we identify with the negative voices that sometimes overwhelm us and hear it is ok just being us. Thank you!
Sorry for my late response. Thank you very much for reading and leaving a comment. Yes, it is okay being us. 🙂
Thank you! I relate to this so much. You writing makes the point eloquently. Most everything I do, has a someone I know in my life who is better than what I am or could ever be. So, I dont have illusions about me, but that doesnt stop me from enjoying the things I like doing. After all the tree in the forest doesnt stop growing just cause there are older, bigger, stronger trees around it. So why should I stop doing what is my nature to do?
The tree-example is pretty apt. 🙂
I feel like that too Shail…sigh
But I guess we need to go on with what we have as that’s the best option to keep the sanity in us!
It is enough to be whoever we are 🙂
I had this conversation with my mother the other day. And she said, “you’re doing just fine.” Sometimes its difficult to believe her though.
Yeah, it’s difficult. I get that.
Let's CUT the Crap! said:
Thank you 🙂
Alana Mautone (@RamblinGarden) said:
I’ve always struggled with feeling of insecurity. But, more and more, I just try to let them go, and do what I do best. It will have to be enough.
Exactly this. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting.
Amen Shail, amen.
I’ve been in that scenario many times. Especially when your family expects you to be molded to be the “traditional girl”. Believe me, I am not “good” because I don’t speak perfect Malayalam or know every single Kerala recipe in the book, have a mindset that doesn’t match up the “Malayalee traditional mindset”..etc. And yea I got flamed when other people are better than me. Example was in the summer where my mom got ridiculously sensitive because my cousin’s kids’ speaks outstanding Malayalam and are deemed to be “growing up like Malayalee kids where they only interact with their own”, where as my brother and I are not like them, so I guess we are “shameful”, even though I can speak Malayalam but not fluent (and yet though other people were impressed by it and say I know it, my mom was still condescending towards it and goes on rants that I’m not perfect, now I just don’t bother learning anymore). But thanks to a lot of good and smart people I learned not to take it to heart because I am pretty happy with myself despite going through tough times, which probably labelled me as “bad”.
Yeah, don’t take it to heart. We are good enough as we are, even without knowing our mother tongue or speaking it fluently.