Dear Sales Girl At The Supermarket Who Tried Selling Me A Packet Of Slimming (says you!) Green Tea With Malabar Tamarind And Other Such Whatnot-s,
You now what? I liked the personal touch of your marketing style, the way how in two seconds flat of our meeting you turned the conversation, and our combined attention, to a personal part of my anatomy, namely my dear tummy, with the well meant suggestion that I will have none of it left if I were to guzzle the tea you were selling, for one whole month. Believe me, I am extremely sorry to have caused you disappointment by interrupting you midway with a cheerful ‘no’. But there’s something you don’t know about us, my tummy and I, that is.
We are long lost buddies. I love my tummy so much that I have decided I cannot let it go so easily, not in a month, one year, a dozen, or even a million. I am sure my tummy feels the same way about me from what I have gathered from it these past years. Ours is one of those rare love stories, the till-death-do-us-apart types, the only true ones by the way.
Someone like you who enters left center and starts blabbering of separating us automatically becomes cast in the role of nothing more than a much detested villain. Since we all know what happens to villains at the end, whether it be a book or a movie, a little caution would be in order. Just saying, you know.
Anyways, now that we are having this cozy chat, I hope you will not mind if I take the liberty of making a wee suggestion? Do please take it in the right spirit.
Life is hard for all of us though some fools are wont to believe that those alighting from swanky cars (No! Not me. I don’t own swanky cars!), or holidaying in far away exotic islands having flown there business class, have an easy life. As if they are on a perpetual diet of don’t-worry-be-happy Percy toffees. Some other fools think (or would have us believe so by sharing appropriate spiritual quotes, but we aren’t so foolish as to believe them, are we?) that being church-mouse poor equals an easy life with no care and oh-so-blessed and happy. Then there are the many like you and me, falling in between the two, going about our lives as best as we can.
None of us in any of these categories are characters from glossy ads, but *real* people with our share of ups and downs in fairly equal proportions, whoever we are and wherever in life we may be. Every goddamn single one of us. So when a customer declines your offer, and that too with a smile so as not to offend or hurt you, try not to look at her as if at a caterpillar in your salad.
Someone Who Laughed All The Way Home At Being The One Chosen To Be Sold *Slimming* Tea.
Ha, ha and ha. Umm… really sorry about that, but I found it really amusing. Still do. 😉
©Shail Mohan 2015