I was brought back to the present from my realms of fantasy by the exasperation that communicated itself from the way the Lord and Master was honking. We were on our way to the library and had just crossed the Edappazhanji junction. It was a Saturday morning and there were quite a few vehicles on the road. I was about to tease the L & M as to what he gained by honking in this manner when there was no place to move ahead when I noticed something. Three cars ahead of us, there seemed to be enough place to play football, as the private bus conductors are wont to tell passengers when asking them to move ahead and make space for more. Hmmm…..

In front of us was a black car, ahead of it an auto rickshaw and still ahead leading us all was a flashy red car (What is it with me and flashy red cars? Read another incident here). What poor “leading” the undecided Flashy seemed to be doing! To move ahead or not move ahead, to go to the extreme left or stay on the middle of the road, to crawl or rush… all these seemed dilemmas tormenting Flashy that morning. The one thing Flashy seemed sure about and determined not to let happen was let anyone overtake in spite of the fact that Flashy itself was not in any hurry to get anywhere. The ample free road space ahead of it was proof enough for that. Sigh, some weirdoes are like that, neither will they move forward nor let others go.

The by-now-impatient Auto who was right behind Flashy started honking with annoyance. Taking a risk the very next time that Flashy eased a bit to the left, Auto surged ahead, leaving Flashy behind. I laughed as I watched Auto merrily moving ahead. But the L & M was not amused. He wanted the Black to do the same so he could follow suit and drive away without dilly-dallying. Flashy though, was having none of it. Its erratic pattern continued. Black was not the adventurous type, or so it seemed and so followed more sedately, like an obedient child. But even obedient children have their moments. As soon as the ‘procession’ turned right and entered the road leading to Sasthamangalam junction, Black rebelled and raced ahead, dodging Flashy narrowly.

Not it was us right behind Flashy who continued imitating sometimes a giant red snail and at6 other times a hare, but a road-hog nevertheless. The L & M was totally pissed off by then. At the next opening he got he revved up to overtake. As he drove past, he gave the man driving Flashy a disgusted, what-the-hell look. The fellow glanced, saw us moving past and immediately decided he did not want to let us get ahead of him. His attempts to retain his “leading” position was foiled because by then he had let himself go too far to the left and found himself being hindered in his effort by a parked truck.

Not to be one to be outdone, Flashy soon caught up with us. The road widens when it nears the Sasthamngalam junction. The brainless idiot that drove Flashy, in true filmy style, literally pushed us off the road and parked Flashy right in front of us. Then he swaggered out. By then L & M had the window on his side down and was asking him what he meant by stopping his car like that in front of ours. Not enough to own swanky cars, one should know basic rules to be followed on the road. How about letting those behind overtake when you feel like crawling?

“Ohh.. is that so?? Oh really?” said the man in a threatening manner, walking up to the window on the L & M’s side.

“Yes,” said the L & M, “That’s one of the basic lessons they teach you when you learn driving.”

The man made more noises of ‘Oho?’ but started walking back to Flashy. He opened the door and just before getting in, pointed to me and said,

“Aduthu irikunnundallo oralu. Padippichu kodukku drivingum rulesum!” (There is someone sitting next to you. Teach her driving and the rules)

I was livid. What a loser!

What he said was harmless enough. But that he said it enraged me. I had been silent, a mere spectator during the exchanges. The man could not even accuse me of glaring at him because my huge sunglasses covered more than half of my face. The argument was between the two people driving. Why the hell should I be mentioned in any manner whatsoever?? Aren’t men capable of fighting their battles without dragging women present or absent, into it? Fights between men it seems are not fights if a barb is not fired at the women in some way or other. Do you think the man would have made any remark if it were a man sitting in my place?

This was a classic example of what I spoke in my post, “Where you insult man by insulting all women” Of course this one did not involve use of abusive words. But the flashy red car not withstanding the man was cheap enough to needlessly refer to me before banging his door shut and driving away, his cheap victory. It amused me to think of the way he walked back and made sure he was on the other side of Flashy and ready to flee before he fired his salvo.

As we drove our way, I remarked to the L & M,

“He probably did not like my sunglasses.”  😐