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Blogadda is back at it again. After creating a ruckus asking ‘what women want’ and getting no closer to any single answer, they are back with a vengeance, this time wanting to know ‘what the men want’.

Uh ho.

Sigh.

What did I tell you back when I wrote about ‘what women want’?? Right at the outset I had mentioned that once you finished reading about what women want, as a bonus, you’d find the answer to what men want as well.

I had asked: ‘When even cattle have individuality and preferences, why ask ‘what women want’??’

I had attempted to kill two birds with one stone, rather tried to forestall Blogadda’s attempts at asking the question about men in the future. But they didn’t take the hint and have asked it all the same.

By the same token as the earlier question, you can ask, when even cattle have individuality, why ask what men want’?? Shouldn’t the question always be, what does this particular man want??

Are men factory made, coming off the assembly line that we can generalize?? Does it not depend on John, Jaani and Janardhan, to name just three, what they actually want?? And you can bet your bottom dollar that these three don’t agree on a single thing under the sun or beyond it about what they want. So much for their show of solidarity and brotherhood, which show incidentally, is put up for the benefit of the women.

Be that as it may, I can say with authority that I do know what is that one thing that men want. It is no great shakes. They only want what everyone else wants, yessir, the very same thing.

And pray, WHAT is it??

Like you and me and the rest, for good or bad, they want to have their wishes fulfilled.

The wishes themselves vary, from John to Jani to Janardhan to the rest of the crowd and however much Blogadda or any one for that matter might hope to arrive at a general consensus, it is an impossible feat.

Yet…. errrrr… well, umm….. Among all those wishes there is one which I can say with certainty, is sort of common to all men. So with your permission, I want to enlighten you all about that ‘one’ thing that ALL men want. And no it’s NOT what you think. It is…

PAMPERING.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. They want pampering so bad. No questions asked.

They wouldn’t admit to it naturally, being the supposedly strong, silent, brooding types. Of course everyone knows that there are chatter-boxes, gossipers, cry-babies and sentimental types among them. But let me just humor them and reiterate their image of themselves as the strong silent brooding types as opposed to their image of women as magpies. Even if they are all of what they think they are, they cannot do without their daily dose of pampering.

By the way, leave out those I-can-take-care-of-myself types. They are just the odd exceptions. The rule is that men want to be pampered in every which way possible, physically, emotionally. They crave for pampering worse than sex, drink, drugs. And not just by anyone, mind you! They want to be pampered by the XX brigade.

The last I noted, they were getting their way alright.

They start life with the Queen of Pamper-ers (is there such a word??) at their disposal, who on their part fight unto death to maintain status quo. Sisters do their bit sometimes willingly at other times with a push and a shove from the QoP. Then enters the wife, who resents the QoP’s pampering ways, feeling it is now her right and so gets into competition mode only to bestow more pampering. Of course there are others who join the fray like grandmothers, aunts, cousins, friends, and when she arrives, even the daughter. They can never have enough of it. Period.

Now what happens if this pampering is withheld? They droop. They fret. They whine. They crib. They become cranky. They shout. They wallow in self pity. They pine. They panic. In fact their life is one miserable hell and they don’t mind telling  (withholding the real reason) us so.

They cover up their one great desire, by telling you it is machines that they want, a mo-bike, a car, that the vrrrroooom vrrrooom thrills them. They might tell you they want all the girls in the world for themselves (though what they would actually do with them is any one’s guess, hyuk hyuk). They might tell you they want to climb mountains, fight the grizzlies, fly into space, be superman, blah blah blah….  That’s all eyewash. What they secretly desire to have forever and dread losing, but won’t ever admit to be the case is that they want to be cosseted, coddled silly by the womenfolk.

So yeah, though I wouldn’t want to be accused of generalizing, I cannot help but conclude, what men want is pampering, BIG time!


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