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Though I have been a homemaker and full-time parent for a pretty long time now, there must have been a time eons ago when I was a probably squalling baby, a definitely painfully shy kid, a certainly diffident recluse of a teenager and a finally happy-go-lucky collegian cautiously peeping out of her shell and daring to bask in the new found sunlight. From there to my present position of what’s referred to in these Modern Enlightened Times as Home Technician or Home Manager was certainly not covered in a single step.

Anyway here I am! Five foot nothing just about sums up the whole of me. I have a crick in my neck looking up to my Lord and Master (who shall hitherto be known as L&M in current as well as subsequent posts) who is all of 6’1” and sons Senior and Junior who are almost but not there yet! L&M will have none of it. Don’t you dare grow taller says he to his progeny wanting to retain for himself the title of The Tallest One at Home Sweet Home!! Hmmm…. Wonder if the progeny will comply? Son the Senior seems to have very obediently taken his words to heart and given up on overtaking Father Dear, concentrating instead on being the Perfect Geek. Son the Junior rebelliously has his hat still in the ring while he spends time trying to become the Cool Animator.

Crick in the neck or not, there is one thing that has me chuckling about living among these three Martians who have their heads a good foot above mine. I can boast forever of holding my head high. I may not be able to look them in their eye long enough for fear of straining my neck muscles grossly, the levels being different. But, and I bet you that is an all important but, I never have to bow before either the young Princes or even the King himself!! So there!! Reminds me of that song by Mahendra Kapoor. Na munh chupake jiyo aur na sar jhuka ke jiyo…. Ha Ha and Ha! I have the last laugh after all. On second thoughts, do I?

What raises that doubt is those many instances that have me hopping mad. Of course when you have two monkeys …errr I mean children in your custody, to bring up and turn loose on the world in a few years down the line, we the poor parents have to hop around and also roll our eyes a good deal. The said unsuspecting world will not look kindly on you if you unleash on them wild monkeys …errr I mean children, not tempered with the right amount of rolling eyes and angry looks. It will send them right back to you. Imagine relaxing in that empty nest of yours enjoying the divine solitude with a sigh of relief at a job well done, only to find the baby bird back at your doorstep bag baggage and all because the world thought the baby bird was not fit enough for it. What a scary prospect!

Moreover, how can we disappoint the poor little darlings? They positively expect you to go red in the face and jump around a good deal with smoke and flame spewing out of nose ears and mouth. They feel completely let down if you don’t do the Angry Dragon Act at least now and then! If you smile and simper all the time whom will they rebel against? What reason will they have to go stomping off to their rooms and bang the door shut?? How can they justify answering you in monosyllables and reject the food you cooked if you don’t give them a Valid Reason? They would feel and rightly so, absolutely cheated of their very birthright! Do we want them looking at Sonu and Monu or Pinky and Minky or even Titli and Asha and sighing longingly? Oh no Siree. One wants to be the Perfect Parent and play by the rules.

Well now that you know what noble intentions lay behind the hopping-mad shows I put up, let me get back. I was wondering if I do indeed have the last laugh. There were occasions when arranging my eyebrows neatly at their knit best and pulling myself to the tallest any five footer could hope to achieve, not forgetting, the noblest of intentions, I yelled “Go and have your bath!!!” or even “Clean up your messy room!!!” Hrrrmph and what did I get? A raised head at an angle to drive home the difference in heights and a condescending and amused look down at me through half closed lids. The face is raring to laugh and horror of horrors is that a giggle trying to escape me? I have had then to call all my reserve strength into force and hastily exit to prevent the Pathetic Disintegration of Parental Authority in the form of a Helplessly Giggling Mom.

So that’s a little sketch of my family. I keep house for the three Martians. I am the lone one from the Planet Venus. Ooops! I almost forgot the dog! Oh yeah there is a dog as well, a crazy one at that. As the only one of my species around I lord it over them as any Queen rightly should. Only the tiara and the trimmings are missing!! Err….. I am the maid cum cook cum the odds job person as well. Sigh. The Ups and the Downs of life. But guess what…….

I am loving it!! 😀

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