What quality do you value most in a friend?

Ahh! This is just the question I’d like to answer.

As a kid, I used to devour books by Enid Blyton. The Mallory Tower series was one of my top favourites. I have already written elsewhere how I couldn’t decide between who I wanted to be even while reading the books, the fiery, but fun loving, outgoing and straightforward Darrel, or the quieter, more thoughtful and steady Sally.

It’s obvious to me now, though not back then, that Darrel was essentially an extrovert and Sally, an out and out introvert. Years into the future though, I had an epiphany. I was someone trying to be a Darrel while actually being a Sally.

If you have known me long enough, you’d already know that I often describe myself as an extrovert in the garb of an introvert. Bingo! There you have it. Unknowingly, I had hit the right note. A qualified person (in such matters, obviously) even told me that that there was a pretty accurate evaluation of myself.

So there you have it, a Sally trying valiantly to be a Darrel. That’s me. I am unsure what people whom I interact with think of me. Do they look at the surface and conclude that I am a Darrel? Or do they look beyond and notice the Sally underneath?

My experience on the matter is that most all see only the Darrel side and make their conclusions based on that. It is rather frustrating, but intuition isn’t the strong point of everyone, and to be fair to them, especially when I am sending mixed signals.

So the quality I’d value most in a friend would be the ability to see through the mixed signals, understand and accept the existence of layers, and still be my friend. A tall order?

©️ Shail Mohan 2025