Last night I had a dream. Yup, once again it is about one of those, the many dreams I am blessed with.

Mind you, these are very different from the kind you see with eyes open. In the latter, often referred to as day dreaming, one can steer the happenings to the way you want things to go. Like when you hear a song you love and imagine you are the one singing it, in front of people you know.

A niggling voice reminds you, your vocal cords have shut down on you, refusing to cooperate. What the heck, you tell the Niggling Voice, this is my (day) dream! I can be whoever I want to be, do whatever I want to do, wherever, and whenever. And that silences the spoilsport for the duration of the dream.

That reminds me, whenever people hear me sing a line or two, they stop in surprise. You sing well, they exclaim. I want to thank them and leave it at that. But they ask how come O don’t sing more, and go on to insist how I need to sing more often. Blah blah blah…

I smile and patiently explain that singing is a great strain for me, even the low notes. The high notes are an impossibility altogether. That’s when things start going wrong.

They start telling me how I can overcome it all by singing daily and other advice on similar lines. The pressure they put me under by their lack of understanding of my genuine problem is too much and I start regretting ever singing those two lines.

Sooner or later (It’s a given, by the way!) one of them ends up saying, ‘It’s all in your mind!’ As far as I am concerned that’s the last straw on the camel’s back. I clam up and start fuming inside of myself while they go on.

What the bleddy heck do they know of what my mind is capable of? Do they know the negativities I have had to fight with this same mind of mine they speak of to grow up and remain this positive and cheerful person that I am? Like hell it is all in my mind! (Yeah, a separate post on it is long overdue!)

Believe me, I love to sing, not for fame or anyone else, but for myself, the most. I used to sing along to music while I work, nothing gives me greater joy. But now I cannot do even that. If my mind could it would have tamed my vocal cords long back because the greatest sorrow is the loss of my voice in my life and thus my inability to sing even to/for myself.

Gorblimey! I have done it again. Infamously digressed. How did that happen? If I remember correctly I was talking of dreams, and particularly the one I had last night before I drifted off to other topics! So let’s now get back there pronto, readers.

In my dream (of last night) I was older in years. My hair was almost 90% white, and cut in a different style. It looked more like my friend Usha’s style, a bit longer, till the nape of the neck. I was laughing happily too, just like her, but was sitting on a roller coaster ride of all things! Btw, hate the damn things in real life!

So there I was laughing happily and looking back and telling someone (Who?!) over the heads of others that there’s only 10% more of my black hair left now, and asking theatrically, ‘When will it be ALL white? When? When? I want it all white! I am waiting for the day!’ And laughing again heartily.

Strange dream, huh? But then I have had weirder ones, really scary ones too… So as dreams go, this quirky one is alright. Thanks for small mercies and all that, you know!

Gosh, this is truly a rambling post, in the true essence of the theme for the month.

©️ Shail Mohan 2025